Ironbear24
Senior Master
I am getting too frustrated with myself. Getting tired of failure after failure and then more failure. I might come back later. Or I might go back to weight lifting, I honestly have no clue at the moment.
Thanking of quitting for a while.
- Thread starter Ironbear24
- Start date
Kickboxer101
Master Black Belt
Something I was told was if you fail that doesn't make you a failure but if you quit because you fail then you are a failure.
Kickboxer101
Master Black Belt
Great advice...but what on earth does that mean lol
KangTsai
2nd Black Belt
Read the title of the thread
Headhunter
Senior Master
Pretty silly reason to quit if I'm honest. You're failing? What are you failing belt tests? If so so what you failed to get a bit of coloured fabric. Whatever it is there's a reason your failing. Work harder then you'll get better it's the only way.you think your the only one who goes through that. Every single person who does martial arts has to work at it
OP
OP
Ironbear24
Senior Master
That and a million other things. I just don't know how to continue because I'm so tired of it.
This is the first time you have got frustrated with your self?? If not, how do you normally manage that frustration and why would that approach not work now? x
Kickboxer101
Master Black Belt
Well then talk to your instructor and ask him why you failed ask for 1-1 lessons train harder in your own time. Only 1 person can stop you from failing and that's you
Tortoise
Yellow Belt
From some of your previous postings, I believe you have quite a passion for the martial arts. You should probably not quit. Just back off for a while. Attend once or twice per week until you feel better about it. Maybe you just need a breather. The longer you stop going completely, the harder it is to start up again. I think you need to work through this.
Or, as others have mentioned, perhaps you just have not found the right place to train.
The brightest flames burn out the quickest. Be the burning ember that just won't quit.
Here's my take, and it's based on very little information about your frustrations, but hopefully it'll be of some use.
Many of us hit a point where we suck. It's a confluence of issues: we're more aware of what we should be doing, we're starting to practice with people who are better than the beginners we started with, our expectations are higher, and we're starting to make some sort of new error (or, just as likely, finally starting to notice one we've always had, because people are challenging us more). It's not a fun time. But it is a time where we have a tremendous opportunity for growth.
Let's start by looking at the tests. I never failed a test, but not because I was so good - I simply didn't test until I was way past prepared. It wasn't on purpose, I just never got around to testing when I likely should have (more than 18 months at one student rank that's usually a 6-month rank). But there were times AFTER I tested and passed when I'd have failed that previous test if it were given again. I was working to get better, and some "fix" had broken two or three principles and messed up some techniques. So, it's time to figure out why you're not passing the tests. Part of that is knowing what you actually didn't pass on the test. The larger part, however, is figuring out what broke those things.
This is a frustrating time. Given some of the old habits you've been trying to reform (anger issues, etc.), working through this frustration is actually a very good thing for you. This is one of those "mastering oneself" moments for you, and the biggest value of working through this is the emotional intelligence you'll build.
Stick with it, but change something. Find a new approach, do something very different for a while. PM me if you want to chat through some ideas.
Many of us hit a point where we suck. It's a confluence of issues: we're more aware of what we should be doing, we're starting to practice with people who are better than the beginners we started with, our expectations are higher, and we're starting to make some sort of new error (or, just as likely, finally starting to notice one we've always had, because people are challenging us more). It's not a fun time. But it is a time where we have a tremendous opportunity for growth.
Let's start by looking at the tests. I never failed a test, but not because I was so good - I simply didn't test until I was way past prepared. It wasn't on purpose, I just never got around to testing when I likely should have (more than 18 months at one student rank that's usually a 6-month rank). But there were times AFTER I tested and passed when I'd have failed that previous test if it were given again. I was working to get better, and some "fix" had broken two or three principles and messed up some techniques. So, it's time to figure out why you're not passing the tests. Part of that is knowing what you actually didn't pass on the test. The larger part, however, is figuring out what broke those things.
This is a frustrating time. Given some of the old habits you've been trying to reform (anger issues, etc.), working through this frustration is actually a very good thing for you. This is one of those "mastering oneself" moments for you, and the biggest value of working through this is the emotional intelligence you'll build.
Stick with it, but change something. Find a new approach, do something very different for a while. PM me if you want to chat through some ideas.
Danny T
Senior Master
What do you consider 'failure'?
If you truly want to be excellent you will fail many times. Excellence doesn't come easy but through many trials and failures. It is the constantly getting back up and continuing no matter what that will develop excellence.
If you fail in a test then you were not really ready or prepared. If you cannot accept that then you are letting your ego and emotion control you. Testing isn't for the instructor it is for 'you' to know for yourself you are ready to move to the next level.
If you truly want to be excellent you will fail many times. Excellence doesn't come easy but through many trials and failures. It is the constantly getting back up and continuing no matter what that will develop excellence.
If you fail in a test then you were not really ready or prepared. If you cannot accept that then you are letting your ego and emotion control you. Testing isn't for the instructor it is for 'you' to know for yourself you are ready to move to the next level.
Flying Crane
Sr. Grandmaster
Well, we all sometimes just need to take a break for a bit to catch our breath and clear our heads and regain perspective. Nothing wrong with that, but there is the risk of never coming back to it again once you fall out of the habit.
On the other hand, it could be a good thing to back away from a formal school situation, no belt tests, no school obligations, and just practice on your own. Stand on your own two feet for a while and work on the stuff you feel is important. Find your own motivation.
Go back to the school when you are ready. Or not.
On the other hand, it could be a good thing to back away from a formal school situation, no belt tests, no school obligations, and just practice on your own. Stand on your own two feet for a while and work on the stuff you feel is important. Find your own motivation.
Go back to the school when you are ready. Or not.
OP
OP
Ironbear24
Senior Master
I've thought about this a lot and what makes me keep going is my end goal. I want to be somebody worth remembering and in general good at something. It's just the more and more the I train I feel worse about the situation, all that happens is I see more and more how far away and out of reach the goal is.
I don't want to be years from now and be in the same spot because I'm just stuck.
Don't beat yourself up, brother, you aren't a finished product, you're a work in progress. (makes me kind of jealous, actually) Chill out until after the Holidays, then come back roaring.
Stuff that kills you now will one day be your warm up. Stuff that makes you crazy will one day be stuff you're helping others to overcome.
Being repeatedly challenged is inevitable - the whole quit thing..... that's really kinda' optional. Just don't make a quick choice.
Jesus, did I use enough cliches, or what? Of course, the reason they're cliches is because they're true and always have been.
Stuff that kills you now will one day be your warm up. Stuff that makes you crazy will one day be stuff you're helping others to overcome.
Being repeatedly challenged is inevitable - the whole quit thing..... that's really kinda' optional. Just don't make a quick choice.
Jesus, did I use enough cliches, or what? Of course, the reason they're cliches is because they're true and always have been.
Old saying - "Remember that guy who quit? Yeah, nobody else does either."
Kickboxer101
Master Black Belt
Well if you quit you won't be in the same spot...you'll be a lot further away than you are now. And honestly I think you should change your goals you want to be someone worth remembering well unless you get into the ufc or high level boxing its very unlikely you'll be hugely famous. There are probably millions of martial artists all over the world who are amazing at their skills but barely anyone knows their name and definentely not anyone outside the martial art community. Like I said the most famous ones are sports stars or movie stars. Change your goals do it for you. If you quit you'll lose what you have you'll probably be in worse shape and when you get older and can't train as hard anymore you'll be looking back regretting it. I'm sure most have wanted to throw in the towel but the ones that do don't get anywhere
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