From a forum post I wrote a number of years ago.
This seat or that one over there?
Being mindful is a skill that can and in my opinion should be trained. For instance, when driving a vehicle watch the traffic flow ahead of you and watch your rearview mirror for activity coming up behind you, this will allow you more time to avoid or deal with situations before or as they occur. Most I think would agree that this is not paranoia this is commonsense. Habit would be watching the traffic patterns and flow, skill/art would be not only watching them as they develop but being able to accurately predict them before they occur. How do you get to this level....by being aware and practicing. You can easily make a sort of game of it. Watch the traffic in front of you and out loud predict when that vehicle three or ten cars ahead is going to switch lanes, see someone rapidly approaching from behind, move over and predict how many seconds until they pass, see someone tailgating a slower moving obstacle make a mental bet on how long before they will pass the obstacle or the slower vehicle moves over, if they will get around it legally, and if there will be retaliation by either driver.
When arriving at an unfamiliar destination (like a restaurant) take an extra minute to work on your patience. Do not take the very first parking stall you see but drive around the building first. Notice things. How many exterior doors are there? Can you drive completely around the building or is it blocked off? Get a feel for the immediate neighborhood i.e. a bunch of youths hanging out on this side, lights out over here, cameraās on this side etc. Awareness must be practiced to be developed and maintained. After unobtrusively āpeekingā around the building go ahead and park, but, first take a moment to figure out where you should park. Do you want to be able to observe your vehicle from inside the building (if the building has windows)? If there are windows or they mirrored or frosted? If it is night can you see into the building while those in the building cannot see out? Can you park in a manner that allows you to more easily exit the area when your business is finished (this can mean backing in to the parking spot, closer to the end of the parking row, closer to the exit (but further from the building) from the parking lot)?
Walking into a unfamiliar building, before you open the door, pause and take a moment. Clear your head of distractions and take note of the current state of your psyche and if needed return it to neutral. Note if the entrance door pulls or pushes to open? Pause once inside (some like to step to the side a bit which can be a good habit depending on local customs and situations) and let your eyes and ears and āgutā adjust to the incoming information. Take note of the feel of the establishment and the patrons. Look around briefly but see as you do so. Remember those exterior doors, match them up to exits that you can see. Many restaurants and bars have kitchen doors that lead to the outside and many stores have docks and back hallways that open to the outside, but these are kept from view from the general population and clients but can be handy to know about. Are there choke points inside the building for example stairs or those narrow doorways leading from one large room to another? When walking into a bar/club that has a bouncer I generally make some eye contact, shake their hand and subtly give them a cash tip then I ask them where the restrooms are and where the back exit is and thank them for the information. I often do the same thing with a hostess at a restaurant. When walking thru or observing a place take note of the people in and around. For example, that big fat guy in seat 12 C (aisle seat) might make a good bullet shield if terrorists (or the law taking back) decide to storm the plane while that little skinny guy 13 D would make a good bludgeoning tool if thrown just right....
Where to sit. The location of where to sit is a series of compromises, decisions and priorities, Bad guys and good guys both, often try to sit with their backs to the walls, this can be good or bad depending on the context. Walls do a surprisingly poor job stoping bombs and bullets but they can keep someone from approaching unseen. Sitting near the restrooms is convenient but high traffic and low mood setting, sitting near the kitchen is also convenient but can be loud and high traffic as well. Is that perfect booth on a far side of a choke point between it and an exit? That table by the window allows a view of the parking lot but windows can be a danger during an earthquake or bomb blast. Is there lots of glass wear on the tables, how heavy are the tables and chairs? Are there fire sprinklers in the ceiling?
The compromises, decisions and priorities are easy to live and deal with if just few minutes of prior thought goes into them. Take an inventory of what kind of emergencies might be faced, which again depends on lifestyle, customs, and circumstances and give a little thought to how to deal with each. You will soon notice that many of the emergencies have similar responses. Fires and bomb blasts, active shooters or nutty exās, just joking...but not really. Need fire extinguishers, they are often located one behind the bar or the little room behind (under) it, a couple in the kitchen area and one by the lavatories. Need first aid kit, again kitchen area is a good place to look and behind the bar will have a lot of ābar ragsā...yes they might look and smell gross but they are alcohol soaked. Crowd stampeding to the main exit then the one behind the bar or in back of the kitchen might be a quicker safer way out of the building. Someone pepper spraying the room and fires can produce the same emergency reactions re- the toxic and blinding fumes, knowing in advance not only where the nearest exit is but how to get there āblindedā is easiest if you first ālookedā. Lights out. the light switches or often near the open end of the bar, in the restroom they are near the door (your phone makes a good flashlight if needed)
Depending on life style, local customs and individual circumstances most will never face an emergency while out in public yet some reading this will. Having a plan with forethought responses makes sense and contributes to success. Make your responses more efficient by making habit your mindfulness and awareness and making playful your training them. If with another person, bet them on how many fire extinguishers or first aid kits are in the immediate area and ask the waitress, waiter or stewardess for confirmation.
If you have never experienced a crowd in panic/rage and how contagious and powerful that arousal can be I recommend strongly that some exposure training be sought out and applied. Hint Systema
One last be definitely not least thought. There is strength in numbers, if in an emergency situation, find somebody weaker than yourself, someone injured, someone needing help and help them. At best we can save another and set the example for others to follow and at worst selfishly putting someone under our own care forces a sense of calmness and gives added strength and awareness and adds to our own chances of survival. Panic, calmness and courage are all contagious.
Regards
Brian King
