Speaking up or staying silent...what to do when you are not the senior person

[Gerry Seymour]

This is something that shouldn't have to be brought to the instructors attention. If the instructors are unaware of reckless sparing, then they are not paying attention and properly doing their job.
I feel that any student should have the right to speak up regardless of their rank or age. If that is a problem with the instructors, well, what can I say, I'd find another place to spend my money.

In a busy class, it can be difficult to tell how much of a problem it is. I might see one strike that looks a bit hard, but if the other person "toughs it out" and doesn't fill me in, it might be hard to tell how hard the strike was. And I'm probably not going to see them all (again, busy class). So, I might know someone's control is lacking, but not know how bad. That latter is important, because I'll give general comments if there are a few people who are off a little. I'll have a personal chat if someone has very bad control.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

So... this is precisely what I was talking about.

I would want to know precisely what it means, "wasn't well received." First, but I think I understand. Assuming I do, the yellow belt needs to understand what it is that she is doing to the other people, i.e. she needs to be handled somewhat roughly by someone bigger, stronger, better than her, so that she figures it out. At this point, she's a bully in the making.

That is my opinion. I have had that opinion of how to handle problems like this in the dojo/dojang/gym for about 30 years now. The externally-applied attitude adjustment is sometimes the most expeditious method of handling this type of behavior. Of course, everyone could sort of ignore it, and she'll continue to hurt people worse and worse... or you could run her off... but then you lose someone who could be a very promising, long-term student if she would simply control herself.

I agree. I don't think it's my most elevated self, but this seems to be reasonably effective in helping people with that problem. I've done it with black belts who were throwing lower ranks too hard, people who were too aggressive in sparring (with people not yet ready for that level of aggression, or even injured), and for folks who were too enthusiastic with joint locks.

 

[drop bear]

So... this is precisely what I was talking about.

I would want to know precisely what it means, "wasn't well received." First, but I think I understand. Assuming I do, the yellow belt needs to understand what it is that she is doing to the other people, i.e. she needs to be handled somewhat roughly by someone bigger, stronger, better than her, so that she figures it out. At this point, she's a bully in the making.

That is my opinion. I have had that opinion of how to handle problems like this in the dojo/dojang/gym for about 30 years now. The externally-applied attitude adjustment is sometimes the most expeditious method of handling this type of behavior. Of course, everyone could sort of ignore it, and she'll continue to hurt people worse and worse... or you could run her off... but then you lose someone who could be a very promising, long-term student if she would simply control herself.

I am still kicking a guys leg until he collapses. I have done it about 6 times now. Every time we spar he wants to try to punch me as hard as he can.

 

[JP3]

I am still kicking a guys leg until he collapses. I have done it about 6 times now. Every time we spar he wants to try to punch me as hard as he can.

Some rocks are harder than others, Drop. Don't know what else to tell you.

My exact response when someone is trying to train/punch with me at full power when we are not agreed to do that, yet. Time & place for everything.

 

[Gwai Lo Dan]

Gotcha. If you can, check back in a couple of months ith her progress, what steps were taken to correct her behaviror if you are aware of them, etc.

Small update.

Yesterday's class had kicking drills with full protection. The younger woman who kicks hard but inaccurately was with her boyfriend, and I was beside them with the 48 year old colour belt women who previously had been kicked in the legs. I think I had specifically been chosen to pair with the older woman since she wasn't happy about the wayward kicks from the younger woman.

At the beginning of a drill with a backkick, I told the boyfriend to keep a hand low in case the case the kick goes low. The young woman said, "oh I kicked the instructor in the groin". I asked "so did you learn anything?". And she said "yes, to kick higher".

Funny enough, in the drills the two of them stopped more than a few times as kicks went to elbows and legs. So I think they are learning the importance of accuracy if you apply power.

The woman I was with had a habit of leaving her arm across the front of her hogu. I was just tapping her with backkicks, and touched her wrist / forearm a few times; I explained that that is a really bad place for an arm on a backkick drill. She finds it a hard habit to break though.

So all in all, speaking up just a little is proving to be beneficial for all I think, without being poorly received.

 

[JP3]

So all in all, speaking up just a little is proving to be beneficial for all I think, without being poorly received.

Nice. And you're on your way to being a much more confident instructor in your own right.