I am going to bold the parts I think you will find most relevant, to make it faster for you.
Woah, woah, woah. I have not received anything past 1st dan from Master Khan. And ITF, I finished the training he had begun at Mt. Kim's, where I taught as an instructor for a Mt. Kims. I have always reasoned, when desperate for money, that at least if I teach at a Mcdojo for TKD, I can try to gourmet it up with what Master Khan taught. Because here's the chilling thing, after I had returned, I began touring the area again and re-contacting the people I had trained with before Khan's, and at the school I had left for Khan's, out of disgust for the perceived inadequacy of my teacher then (only later would I come to understand that Taekyon kicks take decades to truly master, and as a result, most TKD look downright terrible until they hit 3rd or 4th dan. Either has been considered the level of a master, depending on the school, Kwan, and grandmaster. I found a student of Khan's however, while visiting my former teacher. I could not go back, because the sight repulsed, and I say it, horrified me that such a turn of events could transpire. It was, to me, as if I were watching what at the time was a nightmare to me occur upon another. But I will say this- though I hope he left, and sought another style of TKD or martial art, he was a shining gem compared to those around him, and he was widely regarded as one of the worst students M. Khan had produced as a black belt. It was not about rank between me and M. Khan, it was about learning the system as quickly, technically sound, as possible. He actually put me to the challenge of learning ITF in a week, and it was through that I learned just how good my memory was when able to learn 3 forms in one day, repeat them the next, and then learn another 4. In one fell swoop he instilled in me greater confidence, and opened my eyes to an ability I had already been utilizing, though not to that degree, which he decided to test. There are a rare few who can mimic perfectly, after watching just a few times. Someone I suspect might be better than I am, about 9 months ago when I returned to the NVCC MA club used a combination/technique I had designed, specifically because of the immense difficulty of getting around that from arm for me, when it jutted past the other. There really is no greater compliment than feeling someone use something you created against you, and it made me take a step back and re-study who I was sparring with, when it finally occurred to me that I recognized him because I had showed it specifically to him and one other, because he at the time was smaller than even I, younger, and a blue belt. I might argue now that the technique I showed him was too advanced, but then again, 3 years later he used the basic form effectively against me. So, perhaps he was ready.
Forms are easy to me because they follow specific patterns, and thus, very easy to predict. So far only shotokan forms have have followed a format and reliably thrown me off, and I believe it because of such similarity to chung do kwan that you want to perform that style, but are stuck using what I consider the far less versatile form of Shotokan which is lacking TKD kicks, any of the grabs, or sweeps M. Khan taught. The forms of Bagua and their palm changes throw me off, also. Same for Xing-yi.
I advise you do call Master Khan, though I cannot give you his number. I would also ask, politely, you remove his picture, not for my sake but his. I consider myself paranoid, but if I am, I'm at the foot marker, while he's at the height of the sun, and I would prefer my internet activity on a martial arts board not draw him in, or give any unwanted attention specifically because he is retired, and is hard to reach specifically so people don't bother him. I say Master before his name not only as a sign of respect, but because I am actively trying to make it difficult, but not impossible to reach him. I am curious if you did find his private contact info outside of facebook, but I imagine he won't respond to you on there much. I question if using his name on this forum was a mistake, if only because I'm not entirely sure what the level is he wants to be left alone and not have illwill or drama come directly his way. And I hate to add this and emphasize it, if anyone were to contact him from this forum, I would ask it be someone else. Feel free to ask your questions through their filter, but keeping in mind you consider me mentally unfit and unsound, I just don't trust any exchange between you and him, because you have come across to me as petty enough to go to that level, simply to exacerbate things here. I am not trying to place blame, just not trying to get my teacher heckled. I hope you understand.
That I am among the few he still speaks with is a sign to me how much he has enjoyed having me as a student. That being said, I do think he would make an exception, given that he and I still speak weekly. Perhaps I can convince him to come onto the board to write us a post. The insight a 6th dan from Chung Do Kwan can offer is excellent, and his degree of ability as a teacher is unparalleled. I say that having observed well over at least half a hundred schools between here and Rehobeth, and I have to say, at least on this coast, he is unparalleled. He also knew Master Murray, as well. He is currently writing a book, so who knows how long that could be. I will speak with him next week about it. Yes he closed in 2006, but the way you say it implies business failure, when in truth he was fed up with the landlord, and was beginning to crave moving on. His master retired at about the same rank (I cannot recall if he received his 7th before or after he closed his school) but I can tell you, based on the whiteboard he kept in the front, he never had over 20 third dans, and only 5 4th dans. I recall him having well over 100 black belts, and I believe it was over 200. And you know what's funny, every single one of them deserved that ranking. Every. That was what sold me; that at 3rd dan from a school of comparative skill level to others in the area, was not even equivalent to a 1st from his school.
I never reported my injury to M. Khan during the exam, and I would appreciate you not doing so either. I do not think he meant the exam to be pushed to that point, but while I would not fight back, I would not give up, and neither would he. The first dan format is intense, even without the sparring, but its sparring is what made the style really open my eyes, and I only saw it after I began there. You go one minute against one person (both of at least 1st dan class, from his school) and then a minute against two, then a minute against three, and a minute against 4. Because I entered the school from another, there was quite a bit of 'outsider' treatment I received. The kids class and its group were about 1.5 years my junior, and as in high school, I had little interest in chilling with Middle Schoolers, though ironically one from that class is now among my closest friends whom I see everyday. At the time however, just prior to my exam, those from the young advanced class began to get mouthy, implying things like I did not deserve my current rank and so on. Keep in mind I had not told those a Khan's school I was a 3rd dan. I actually intended on going to him and just forgetting what experience I had, had and just flat out restarting from flat. But when he heard about my past experience (Yes, surprise, surprise, I chose honesty with the person I respect most now, as opposed to deceit) he looked into it, and refused not to honor it. I think because he tested me, right then and there. He had no problem turning people away, and my willingness to follow what he said, combined with my humility, convinced him to accept me. I would like to think so, at least. He dealt with the kids in a rather amusing way, after I had asked another black belt if the younger black belt's sentiment reflect a general sentiment among his students toward me, and out of concern, they reported it to him. To my surprise that very day, ALL the kids get on their knuckles and crank push-ups while yelling at them about how when one receives a black belt, no matter where, it is to be honored, so that the standard never slips as it has for many other TKD styles... and the art isn't even old enough to be considered young and that had happened. I recall every kid who had mouthed off to approached me and apologized, not because he told them to. He didn't have to, they would have gotten a kicking from him if they hadn't. That kind of character was expected from everyone who wore a belt from him, as I expect them to. If you had a black belt from his school, you deserved, and had earned it. I cannot say the same from the school I had come from prior.
Tonight the same individual who during my dan exam at khans threw me on the ground, was assisting at the satellite school which opened and has conflict with their former teacher. As many have from his school, there was a falling out between M. Khan and a large number of students, mostly because they refused to respect his right to choose what he did with his art and school. If your master decides to close the doors, it's time, and probably for an MA to learn a new art, and give the practice of that system a break. Sometimes teachers need time before they are ready to teach again, and considering the success of his school was both a source of his pride, and ultimately the reason he was forced to retire. There are other details which make it more complex, but ultimately there are only a few of us know why specifically the school closed, and I am not intending to exacerbate any kind of exchange between those who are still upset about his decision to retire and close. He doesn't need that. I wish more had seen that, and even today people now and again in frustration will contact him to let him know how they feel. When the second person during my exam who I fought passed away (street racing, we're a ballsy bunch. Same individual attempted to stop the V-tech shooter when he assaulted their classroom, but the police forced him out of the room just as the gunman entered the police were also exiting through the window, so was relayed to me. I am sure details are off, and it has been years.) he could not even attend the funeral, due to concern his presence might cause drama at the graveside. Think about that, he was so beloved by his students, that when he opted to retire, some turned to hatred to deal with their sadness. I was in Colorado when the school abruptly closed, and I was crushed. I cried when I found out, honestly, and people I have seen conquer cinderblocks, I heard when all assembled, everyone did the same. I wish I could have been there, but it is something I was not meant to see, only to hear.w
When I saw Suki today, it was the first time in 5 years since he had passed the finished embroidered belt from Master Khan to me. This, interestingly, was presented to me at a school I was then applying to for a teaching position, which specialized in Moo Duk Kwan and WTF style. He gave me the belt, then threw me into the lobby of the school and proceeded to tear me up. The lobby torn up, they were t'd off, though since I hadn't initiated it, and was as bewildered as they, that I was allowed to leave before police arrived. It would only later become apparent to me as I gradually would run into those I had met before, that this was standard treatment among reuniting at M. Khans, and the longer before you touch fists, the harder you'll get hit also. I have been mugged, arguably, by more of his students than actually getting to experience the attacks in the street. I've been kicked completely at random... thrown, and so on, when we all run into each other, and it's great. Because I've learned also to return the favor when I recognize a fellow Khan's student (as we call ourselves) who hasn't seen me yet, because trust me, they will. We all walked away from M.Khan's with a bit of that paranoia rubbing off on us. I'd like to think that was deliberate, and has helped to make our lives safer.
But today, Suki was teaching, but would not say a word to me. That is how deep his anger toward his former teacher runs, or at least the hurt he feels does. I would like to say something to bridge it, but as I do not know what caused the falling out, I will not presume to offer my input until either informs me of it. However, despite the cold treatment (people from TKD who I had practiced with 3 years before, at least in the adult advanced class, approached me. At the end, when I had to leave, I bowed, low, as I would to M. Khan, though would not take my eyes of Suk until he acknowledged me. As I am reintegrating at that school to make sure my GF is taught Chung Do Kwan properly (she has a shotokan background) as she has, from what I've been told by her, decided to take a fellow person from the club up on their offer to have her join. I'll probably end up rejoining by May, and return to Chung Do Kwan again. I am also beginning to work with several 3rd dan's from his academy, to ensure I am still teaching the style correctly, as it was taught to me.
It's funny, last I was there several of the now 2nd dans had been blue belts when I left. The younger brother of the former head instructor whos parents owned the school had succeeded his brother. It was interesting to see how people had changed.
What is most important to me from what I learned from M. Khan, is that as the greatest teacher I have yet seen, his affirmation to allow me to teach on the level that few others did at his school was a sign of his respect not only for my background, but in me. He wouldn't have given me something I deserved, which is really a better saying to follow than anything else. He would not tarnish his own name and reputation to please another, or just be nice. We don't take our black belt, we are told to do by our teacher, and if we meet their standards, they allow us to have it, and it is a gift. Don't ever forget that, please. To be honest, since then, I have never questioned my ability to teach, though I have my actual technical ability. Doubt is humble, but to doubt your superiors when they have made up their mind is not. I do not doubt M. Khan like I do other teachers I have had.
Going into my exam I had a good idea it would be more intense than the others, but when I showed up and we had well over the amount who normally showed to support for the 1st dan, it occurred to me then that so many had come not just to support, but also support, and see if I was worth it. And he intended to give them a show, and re-watching the video, if you ever want to see me beaten to a pulp, it's there. I wish I had a video from our archive of it, but at about two minutes the now late Anapum strolls up and straight back punches me where the neck meets the skull. The fight, designed to last 4 minutes, instead dragged on to an excruciating 30 minutes. Alec is actually the individual who shattered my ribs, and is also who kicked me straight up in the ****-hole after they threw me. I think the first person I fought had a good idea of what I was due for (he went lighter than he could have... being a 3rd dan) and so constantly kept flipping me to the ground everytime I got surrounded. To be honest, he saved me from a lot of the damage I could have had, so I'll have to thank him again for that s'long as I'm thinking about it. I would not be surprised if there were hedged bets about how well I did. I am not a 3rd dan in Chung Do Kwan, I am a 3rd dan in Moo Duk Kwan, and Tang Soo Do, which are far different. Though I wish to deus I had gotten to keep practicing, actively under his tutelage.
As far as I have spoken with M. Khan, because of my respect for him and his style, I focus on that and that alone when around him. He is aware I have training elsewhere- he doesn't care. I recall asking once, upon seeing that they did a very different style kick why they didn't do one more akin to how I had practiced prior, Master Khan blinked and said simply, "Because it's not Chung do Kwan!". Since then it hasn't matter to me, as it hasn't mattered to the best teacher I have had, so I don't let it affect me either in his presence. Should he mind me training in other styles? I thought he would, until I mentioned I practiced Bagua while under his tutelage also, and he wasn't bothered. In retrospect, I recall him always inviting my father and I in to demonstrate kendo or kenjutsu, but the opportunity I believe only worked out once. then again, under the tutelage of Master Lee, he and all the inner cloister of their school took up learning ITF system of TKD from a worthwhile school which existed in the area.
You mention a good point about how respect is earned, not given. But that is a misnomer, as it neglects you do not get that respect until you are ready to. Even worse it neglects how true respect operates, in which people finally recognize you for who you have been all along, a re-alignment from their perceivement and because of it, they finally accept and uphold you. I am proud of my 1st dan from Khans, because I was annihilated during that exam having to 4 on 1 for over 20 minutes, against respectively some of the best fighters I have ever met. When I was done, I could barely stand, and I went to the hospital shortly after it finished. I received my belt, which also denoted me a head instructor at that school, whereby having learned the systems he taught, I was ready to teach his. I was already teaching well before then as an asst. instructor. normally each class would have him, a head instructor, and 2-3 asst. instructors. Whatever black belts were feeling lazy or were scheduled to come in that day, and had, but didn't really feel like working out. Since class sizes tended to range, at their smallest, to 20 heads, he needed the help so he could actually focus on the people who needed work the most. The reason he had me assist, for 4-5 hours before then taking the adult class later in the evening, was so that it might accelerate my ability in that art, because teaching focuses people to do better, for the sake of the people they are assisting.
I am not proud of my exam at khan's, because I could have done better, and more maturely at the time, in my opinion, and in hindsight. But I respect what he gave me, honor it, and appreciate the fact that after he passed me, I walked to each black belt, as was the custom, and shook each of their hands. I am curious, but how many came to your exam, not because they had to, but because it was one of those things the school, as a whole, had been waiting on? Only black belts were allowed to attend the BB exams, and you were required to warn your parents prior of the level of contact. A lot of mom's had to walk out because they couldn't watch their sons brutalized, though it normally was a lot more controlled than what I experienced, which may arguable have been more severe than even a 2nd dan would be put through. You will not hear me talk about how 3rd Dan operated, as that from what I have heard was just ridiculous in the level of contact. That was the exam where they attempted to hospitalize you, every chance they could. They ran me through the mill as one should a 2nd dan, and it is that which makes me feel I deserve the ranking of 1st dan I received. I have never worn the belt he gave me, save when I first received it, and I will not until either he re-opens his doors, or I open mine and he is interested in continuing teaching. For now, his insights in MA, life, and everything else are enough to keep me happy for now while I continue honing what I have learned. Though I have not gotten to see him in what is a hard to believe 6 years, if you ever look at my videos, the technique I display from a tournament I believe in 2008 was about where I was at the end of Master Khans, before I re-incorporated all the other styles I had learned into a more cohesive one, which drew from more elements. Effectively, once his doors closed, for about 3-4 years my Chung Do Kwan, while not ignored, did not progress. For example, I never performed Krav Maga, which I practiced with my madre's military unit when they would come over.
Ah, your post has made me so happy. I wish you well.
It was the adults I actually clicked with best at Khans, and hence why I am still in contact with so many today. I think you should, he might be interested, he might not be. He's not the type to care what his students do, so long as they are happy, and not causing trouble noticably.
