So I fall down when I am supposed to. Not when I am made to? How much of a gift am I supposed to give my partner in training?
It is really hard to accurately descalate a situation that is not escalating anyway.
How often would you go physical to just verbal in one of these drills. The same amount as say you would on the job?
I look at it like this. If it is my job to drop someone within the scenario. For example I play the role of a mugger. I am not conversing with any intent to be talked down. I am positioning myself for an ambush.
The victim is playing into my game by trying to talk me down because he is giving me that opportunity. Instead of just wacking me or running off.
So the preamble is good tactics for me and bad for him.
Maybe I need to break things down a bit.
I wrote "A good training partner, whether a scenario role player or partner in drills or even a sparring partner, doesn't just do their own thing and to hell with the training plan. They work with their partner in the context of the training so that both become better."
What's a "good training partner"? Good means beneficial or of use. Training is practice aimed at improvement. A partner is someone who works with another person in an endeavor or exercise. So a "good training partner" is someone who helps another to practice so that they improve.
A "scenario role player" is someone who fills a particular function with a scenario in order to create a reasonably realistic training event. A "partner in a drill" is someone who works with another person while performing a training exercise focused on developing a skill (this is a drill). A sparring partner is someone who works with another person in a sparring exercise; sparring is a form of practicing the learned techniques against the pressure of an opponent.
A "training plan" is a set of directions, steps, objectives, or an agenda for practice aimed at improving.
So... putting the first sentence together -- a "good training partner" is someone who helps a student improve by following the following the steps or agenda for the practice aimed at improvement.
The key thing in the second sentence is "context of the training." Context is the set of circumstances or facts surrounding a particular event. Training is, again, practice aimed at improving. So... putting the sentence together again, a good training partner is someone who assists another person within the circumstances, plan, or agenda of a practice event aimed at improvement.
Given that...
How the hell is it beneficial to your training partner if you just jump them unless the point of the exercise is an ambush? If you're going to do a pre-assault interview, you have to do it properly and in a realistic context. If the student responds and can deescalate (even if it's just handing over their wallet)... you flow with it. You don't just jump them. If you're practicing a technique, you vary the level of resistance as familiarity improves. You don't give full resistance to someone the first time they try something, you let them feel it and work it. As they get better at it, you start to counter it or show points where they are vulnerable.