Saw my first real example of a TKD parent, and it wasn't pretty

[mrt2]

That's possible. I can even think of one parent who suggested that as the reason their child wasn't being promoted. My reply was that although the Y charges $40/month for the program, my annual salary is exactly $0.00, as is that of our Chief Instructor. We do charge a testing fee, so if we were trying to 'soak' someone, we'd be pushing them to test and letting them fail. Except that we use the funds from testing to pay for the belts we give out, and to offset the cost of things like mats, kicking targets, etc.
I think you're more likely to hear something like that at a commercial school.

It really is pretty silly, since most commercial MA schools still charge tuition after promotion to black belt. And, a child black belt is still not the same as an adult black belt so there is still years of work for a 10 or 12 year old 1st Dan to do.

 

[WaterGal]

No, the vast majority of our families love the school.

When I talk about buying into the school culture, I'm not talking about whether they like the school or not. It's about whether they've internalized the values and heirarchy of the school. If they bought into the school culture, they would never even think of starting an argument with the head instructor in the middle of the school.

That said, there is a minority of parents who push for their kids to test, and you can only hold them off so long.

You can hold them off however long you need, until they're ready to test. The parents don't run the school, it's none of their business who tests and who doesn't.

 

[mrt2]

When I talk about buying into the school culture, I'm not talking about whether they like the school or not. It's about whether they've internalized the values and heirarchy of the school. If they bought into the school culture, they would never even think of starting an argument with the head instructor in the middle of the school.



You can hold them off however long you need, until they're ready to test. The parents don't run the school, it's none of their business who tests and who doesn't.

I think we are getting into semantics. The vast majority of parents would not think of starting an argument with their child's head instructor.

 

[Mark Lynn]

When I talk about buying into the school culture, I'm not talking about whether they like the school or not. It's about whether they've internalized the values and heirarchy of the school. If they bought into the school culture, they would never even think of starting an argument with the head instructor in the middle of the school.

I agree

You can hold them off however long you need, until they're ready to test. The parents don't run the school, it's none of their business who tests and who doesn't.

I get what you mean but...... parents do have a vested interest in who tests and who doesn't. It's their kid and generally they are paying the tuition. That said they aren't the teachers, assistant instructors nor the owner of the school, so while they might have a vested interest they have no say really in who tests and who doesn't.

 

[Buka]

I'll tell you what always worked well for us. I had a rule, well known and posted, that if you asked when your test would be, or when the next test was, it was an automatic six months longer added on for you.

The parents actually loved it. They knew their children were actually learning and earning belts. And in a few short months after the schools first test.....nobody ever asked again.

Tell you another thing that worked great for us. Tests were the hardest, most physically and mentally challenging workouts of the year. And we prided ourselves in training harder than anyone else. All belts, except for Black, tested at the same time. Kids and adults, too. Tests were madness, it was wonderful.

But because they were SO taxing, everyone thought there was a good chance they failed as they crawled off the floor. So when the list was put up on the wall of who passed, there was never one single complaint. And when you passed - man, it meant something.

And nobody ever made it through the ranks without failing at least one test.

All testing was open to the public, which created pressure and made people work even harder. Honestly, it worked great. It was some of the best advertising we had.

 

[drop bear]

Better in what way? More in line with your personal values, more law obeying? What is the definition of 'better' that people use for martial arts? /what do people mean when they say that a martial art can 'improve oneself'?

There are disciplinary requirements to fight. You can't drink. You have to show up, You have to comport yourself correctly (we dont do duche baggy push and shove stuff) Fighters cant street fight unless there is a good reason.

Nobody for example would be able to ***** at anybody if they did not pass a grading. And this is kids gradings.

There is a level and they have to make that level.

There is an expectation that you be a more effective person.

 

[FriedRice]

Interesting. Most parents don't dare step up to us. And we have at least 50-70 kids.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Interesting. Most parents don't dare step up to us. And we have at least 50-70 kids.

Most parents, and most people in general, are going to be polite. I think it's clear that this discussion is about a small minority.

 

[77Wolfpack]

One main issue with testing is the students and parents see the belt as a rank. Belts are really only a tool to let instructors know where the student's progression is. At tournaments, i see its normally the parents who are showing their true colors, and it can be horrible especially with the garbage that comes out of their mouths. How often do/have you (as instructors) had to ask a parent/student to not return because of this?

 

[oftheherd1]

What makes an MA school a place to teach/reform kids? Not arguing that happens, just curious the reasoning. When you learned your style, was part of the curriculum learning how to teach values to others, or how to instill good morals to children?

In the two schools I learned at, it was a little different. We learned the dojang/art rules early on, I think we might have been given a paper on things like the art's history, etiquette/respect, mental attitude expected and so on, the first day. Students were allowed to help others remember those things.

Better in what way? More in line with your personal values, more law obeying? What is the definition of 'better' that people use for martial arts? /what do people mean when they say that a martial art can 'improve oneself'?

Mostly from what I remember, it was taught as respect for the teacher, other students, the art, and the flag (even in Korea, where we had two flags). Self discipline if a student didn't come to the school with it, was not a formal thing to learn, but was encouraged in different subtle ways. Etiquette and respect seemed to be learned more by example. If a person needed improvement in those parts of his life, never having learned them well, but did learn them at the school, I would say that was improvement.

I was never taught how to teach values to others any more than being taught how to teach the art I was learning. About the blue belt level one could teach lower belts if the teacher approved. If a mistake was made in teaching it would be corrected. Too many mistakes and you wouldn't be teaching again for a while. Working your way up the belts (not as fast as some schools may do it today) teaching was a thing you learned by example.

It seemed to work out for everybody.

 

[FriedRice]

Most parents, and most people in general, are going to be polite. I think it's clear that this discussion is about a small minority.

That's true. The traffic that we get to our gym is literally enormous so we get lots of different people. There are some parents who tries to mean mug and look hard. The worse are the ones who lives vicariously through their kid and turns them into a trophies & medals producing machine. Like this one, 12 year old kid, displayed all of his medals, trophies, belts, etc. out on the mat one day for a photo shoot and it covered more than 1/3 of the mat space which is about the size of an MMA cage. And the father of course, quit BJJ after like 2 weeks of trying it out.

I think that the biggest factor is that our Master/Owner is a loud***, Brazilian from the rough streets of Sao Paulo. He doesn't take **** from anyone and may even burn down his own gym then to give in to some **** trying to tell him what to do.

 

[Balrog]

But the Dad and the boy both started yelling at the teacher (I guess the boy forgot all that TKD stuff like Respect, Courtesy, Perseverance, and Self control, as well as a children's rule never to interrupt an adult conversation), and the whole thing ended with the Dad saying he was pulling his boy out of class and expected a refund for any advance fees paid.

At that point, my response would be something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way. But let me ask you a quick question. Do you yell at your son's math teacher when he fails a math test? Or his English teacher, or history teacher? No? Then why do you think it is appropriate to yell at me like this? If you want to leave, go right ahead. But you will deny your son the experience of facing a challenge and overcoming it. In addition, you will be teaching him to quit when things get rough. Is that truly what you want for him?"

If the response is yes, then I would say something like, "It is? I'm sorry to hear that. And our school policy is that there are no refunds on prepays. Have a nice evening."

If the response is no, then I would say something like, "I'm very glad to hear that. And while we are talking, why don't we get you signed up and training? "

 

[mrt2]

Update. So the angry father didn't back down, and in fact went on the school's FB page, accusing my teacher of bullying his students. So no apparently, my teacher is a real world Sensei Kreese.

 

[pdg]

Update. So the angry father didn't back down, and in fact went on the school's FB page, accusing my teacher of bullying his students. So no apparently, my teacher is a real world Sensei Kreese.

I just had to funny that

Do you have motivational speeches?