If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
- Dave Barry
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.
- Clement Atlee
Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.
- Thomas Fuller
Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.
- Yogi Berra
If you don't know what to do, call the media and at least give the appearance of doing something.
- David Peterson
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
- Jane Wagner
Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
- Evan Esar
Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle.
- Darby Conley
How my achievements mock me!
- William Shakespeare
I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
- Oscar Wilde
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
- Henry David Thoreau
Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
- Franklin P. Adams
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
- Will Rogers
The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.
- Warren Buffett
There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.
- Anatole Broyard
Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination.
- Bertrand Russell
An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.
- Bill Vaughan
Count Hermann Keyserling once said truly that the greatest American superstition was belief in facts.
- John Gunther
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
- Richard Feynman
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
- Robert Graves
No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar.
- Donald Foster
A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
- Anonymous
No man ever listened himself out of a job.
- Calvin Coolidge
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain
I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'
- Ellen DeGeneres
My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
- PJ Plauger
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
- Mary Chase
Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
- Alfred E. Newman
The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught.
- Marquis de Vauvenargues
When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
- William Hazlitt
If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
- Unknown
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
- Laurence J. Peter
I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane.
- Ray Bradbury
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is stoned to death.
- Joan D. Vinge
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
- Harry S Truman
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
- Richard Diran
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
- Sir Winston Churchill
You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.
- Carrie Fisher
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
- Bill Vaughan
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- Unknown
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
- George Burns
