Quitting Wing Chun

[matsu]

Ok now it's starting to sound like ur a victim mate, where it's just not ur fault and that's just gonna irritate the hell out of a lot of peopple on here trying to help you out.
Perhaps if u had asked on here before you decided to quit then guys would b more positive in their posts.
As been said you got few options find wc place and work hard to get there. Train in something else. Or none of the above.
All down to you now brother!!
Matsu
and guys- this was first time on the forum I felt as I read some responses were less than helpful. This surprised me so I commented .... But I get the feeling here if someone won't help themselves then....... So I won't b so quick to judge next time lol.

 

[zepedawingchun]

If I want to make it work through online lessons then why not? I was frustrated because my own friends, who I've been there for through everything, fail to be there for me when I need them? Is it so freaking hard to throw a full speed jab, cross, hook and uppercut? A lot of my friends can, and some are trained to do it.

One of my friends studies Jeet Kune Do (Jun Fan, not concepts) and he lives a mere 10 minutes away and he couldn't even be bothered to come by when we made an arrangement to come. He has been taught Chi Sao and other things from WC, so what could've been an excellent training opportunity for both of us, isn't, because people expect things out of me, but I can't receive in return.

Another of my brother's friends, we made an arrangement to start learning together. I told him about what was going on, and he wanted to learn too, but he wasn't serious enough. He did not come on the days we arranged and then one day pops up and he's like, aren't we supposed to train? I'm like, what? You can't just pop up randomly, and skip the days we talked about and expect to train.

Then there's my brother, he just doesn't want to do it. He's helped me at times so that I became familiar with the Lap Sao drill, swinging gate, etc and other things but like I said, he doesn't want to do it so every time I ask him he's off playing games or with other people.

Everybody else plays video games (Super Street Fighter 4) so outside of that hobby, they have work, family, etc and don't have time for MA. So you can see that I feel so isolated and alone. No schools that I've looked up, that I can get to, and nobody that I know that will work with me so I can put this into practice.

Sounds to me like you need to stop calling these people friends and find some new friends. Nothing you can do about your brother, just dis-own him.

 

[Tez3]

Sounds to me like you need to stop calling these people friends and find some new friends. Nothing you can do about your brother, just dis-own him.

Or perhaps stop being so needy? Friendship works both ways, perhaps nagging them has the opposite effect of that which was desired. As for the brother perhaps he's wiser than appears. He's helped as it is why should he put his life aside the minute his brother decides he wants to train, smacks of tantrums and childishness that.

To a great extent a martial art is a martial art so train something thats close whatever it is if you so desparately want to train. If you need to do something, do any style thats available to you, your chosen style will still be around when you can get back to it and you will have gained experience even if it's in Judo, BJJ, MMA or whatever.

 

[zepedawingchun]

Coffeerox,

If you give up or quit, then you haven't learned anything from Wing Chun thus far. Giving up is the opposite of what Wing Chun is about, which is never giving up stay with what comes, continue or follow through with the situation, go forward as the problem disappears. One of the basic precepts of the system, stay with what comes, follow through as it retreats, go forward as you are freed, can be put into every situation.

So, you've sought and couldn't find, stayed the course and asked for help, now given solutions, go and train (Wing Chun). It sounds like the options are available for you to do it (Geezer), so now go for it.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Sidebar. I want to learn Japanese sword. However the nearest school teaches kendo, not what I want and not at a rate I can afford. Next nearest school is about 2 hrs away, and I need a passport to get there (which I now have). However, I don't currently own a car and can't afford the trip. So I've adapted. I've worked a bit with someone to show me some Burmese sword work, and some Chinese sword work who are local and within my budgets (ok, it was free, I asked and I received). Eventually, I'll have a car (been shopping this week) and the free time to finally try and connect with the folks doing Japanese sword. But it's taken me a few years to get to this point.

So what's my point?
Stop whining, find something to do now, work on pulling the resources you need to reach your goal together, and when it starts to become possible, go for it.

Anything else is a cop out.

Oh, and as to carpeltunnel.....sucks a lot doesn't it? I've had it for 20 years. Wraps, braces, painkillers and sheer willpower get me through it.

 

[coffeerox]

Sounds to me like you need to stop calling these people friends and find some new friends. Nothing you can do about your brother, just dis-own him.

Well, I'm not *as* close to them anymore as a matter of fact. My brother has pretty much been disowned. He's leeched off of me for the last time. Part of the reason why I have this carpal tunnel is because of him. He believes that it doesn't hurt anybody else that he does nothing when in fact he hurts everybody around him by doing nothing. We can't say anything without him blowing up at us. He's 24 btw.

Or perhaps stop being so needy?

How am I being needy? I've been very cautious as to when I can ask them for help. For instance, two of them were going to spar. Boxing vs JKD but the boxer found out he didn't have time, so I mentioned that I did and that I could use some practice yet he skipped out when it came to me. He wouldn't skip out if it was the boxer. I've known this guy for years.

Friendship works both ways, perhaps nagging them has the opposite effect of that which was desired.

Who said I'm nagging? You people make crazy accusations. I've asked everybody one time, at opportune moments when they were free and they flat out refused or made up excuses. I told you in a previous post that I've always been there for my friends but when it comes time to be there for me, they are nowhere to be found.

One of the basic precepts of the system, stay with what comes, follow through as it retreats, go forward as you are freed, can be put into every situation.

Loi Lau Hoi Sung, Lat Sau Jik Chung

 

[bekkilyn]

It sounds like you're not currently in a life situation that allows to be extremely choosy when it comes to a martial arts training style. The people both on these forums and other places have many times emphasized that it is teacher rather than any particular art that is most valuable. If you can find *a* good teacher in *a* martial art that fits your schedule and your budget, then do it. It doesn't matter whether it's Wing Chun, Judo, Karate, TKD, etc. If the teacher is good, then you're going to learn good stuff regardless of style.

When your life situation changes to allow more choices and you have more opportunities to train in Wing Chun, then the experience you've gained in the art you've been studying will be very helpful to it, or to anything else you decide to do.

If you find that you absolutely cannot find anywhere to train in any martial art whatsoever in your area that meets your current circumstances, then train in general fitness. If you work on general endurance, speed, strength, etc., then these will also be helpful in a martial art once you have the chance to officially train. You don't need a lot of expensive equipment to get more fit. You can do it your house, backyard, public parks...anywhere.

Keep in mind that you aren't going to be in these circumstances forever. Life is ever-changing.

 

[Xue Sheng]

Webfu :mst:

 

[coffeerox]

Webfu :mst:

I do web searches for what used to be a good living, so a lot of the links and keyword searches, etc have already been done for awhile now. I appreciate it though.

I do searches every once in awhile and I run into a wall. But thanks to this thread, people have shown me a different way to look at it and through that I've found a couple more possibilities. If I didn't want helpful replies I wouldn't have posted this thread.

So what's my point?
Stop whining, find something to do now, work on pulling the resources you need to reach your goal together, and when it starts to become possible, go for it.

How am I whining? That's your perception, not truly representative of what I mean. I took a lot of consideration to come to this conclusion. Lack of funds, can't work due to carpal, distance and it's incompatibility with my transportation method, nobody around me wanting to train, etc.

Based on multiple factors, I decided that it would be better for me to concentrate on doing cardio, improving my health. Restoring function to my hands so that I can work seriously again. Finding a new job.

Martial arts is just not in the cards for me at this time. We came to this conclusion earlier remember? That's what this whole thread is about. People just want to keep pressing the issue and interrogating me. There's a certain way I respond to that and believe me, you haven't seen anything yet.

I'm not saying that it's impossible and that it cannot be worked through. I don't believe that at all. People who know me, know that I do anything and everything to create a workaround (come on now. I took a DIY approach to Wing Chun b/c that was the only option I had. who else would do that?)

As for other comments. I'm not afraid of criticism. In fact, I receive criticism on a daily basis and I always knock it down if it's offensive and I always yield if I know that I could be wrong, or something could be improved. I was going to post a video of me doing SNT in fact but the webcam I had access too turned out to be insufficient for the cause.

 

[MJS]

I keep having to emphasize this, but NO, there is NOBODY. Hence the frustration. That's the whole point of me making this post and saying the things I said. THERE'S NOBODY.

You have no family, friends, etc., that would be willing to help you?

I also keep emphasizing that finances are not good right now. Sure, I can cough up the 60 bucks for the fee. The bus ride is pretty damned expensive. Coughing up this money also means that I have to work alongside having carpal tunnel. If I pay for the classes and bus rides, I sacrifice my health by not allowing it to heal.

Not only that, but making 102 (bus + fee) is also a long stretch b/c of other bills that get in the way. I already had to quit working to regain the strength in my hands and wrists. None of your suggestions work because they don't fit in with *my* life. You don't know my situation.

So in a nutshell, this 4 page thread is pretty much a waste of time then? Basically a vent session, telling everyone that you want to train, but nothing seems to be working for you?

I never asked because most teachers that I've seen, list private lessons in the hundreds. I've seen it. It makes sense. I also cannot call because I do not have a phone. Up until a few months ago I was using Skype which only costs 3 dollars for unlimited calls. I had to cancel that. Just consider, just consider how bad my finances are at the moment if I had to cancel a 3 dollar unlimited phone service?

I'm not worried about the teacher saying no. Like I said, I'm down to business. I know that most teachers charge exorbitantly for private lessons (just for trivia, Bruce Lee charged 1000) some list it, some don't. That's just what I know. You can't really blame me for thinking that way.

I doubt the average teacher is going to charge that much. Heres an example. A friend of mine is a brown belt under Roy Harris in BJJ. $80 for 1hr. with my friend. Thats not bad, IMO. I'd be willing to bet that it'd be at least double were I to take a lesson with Roy. Again, you wont know unless you ask.

That's what I wanted to do. I know a handful of like minded people and I just listed in detail exactly why this failed. People are either unreliable, or just don't care, because they are happy with their classes. Why would they want to train with me? They don't see any benefits of training with me. I don't blame them. I've never had a formal teacher, or a formal class, so what do I really know?

You know a handful of like minded people, but then you ask why they'd want to train with you? Lost me on that one.

As I said earlier, it looks like you're going to just have to put training on the back burner for a while.

 

[MJS]

I constantly feel like I have to keep defending myself here when people could simply read what I have to say.

NO we are reading what you say, but you dont want to hear what anyone else has to say. Its 1 excuse after the next. IMO, you need to get your priorities on order.

It's not like I have a problem with what people are telling me. In fact I've found posts in here informative as a matter of fact. Look at jks's first paragraph, he talks about "contact" and I emphasize that I cancelled a 3 dollar phone. He made this post after I made mine, which showed me he didn't read squat.

But you have internet access? Or are you using a friends or at the library?

jks and why I ignored him is because he has a crappy attitude that I've found across many many forums. Instead of being helpful, he consistently attacks me and finds new ways to attack me. I'm not an idiot, I've been all around the block.

Perhaps its because YOU are not hearing what YOU want to hear! People, myself included, are offering countless suggestions, and for every one that we suggest, you counter with an excuse. Its getting a bit old. Again, its VERY obvious training isnt in the cards for you right now. Instead of bitching about it, on a 4 page thread, get your priorities in order first, and worry about training later.

Im sorry if this sounds harsh, or you dont like what I or others are saying, but as I said, I dont sugar coat things. Someone asks me a question, I give them a straight forward answer.

 

[The Last Legionary]

This looks like a job for Clue by Four!

 

[coffeerox]

NO we are reading what you say, but you dont want to hear what anyone else has to say. Its 1 excuse after the next. IMO, you need to get your priorities on order.

How about the fact that I said I did not have a phone yet the very next post, kept telling me to call this, call that.

How about the fact that I said my funds were very tight right now, and you kept pressing about taxi cabs and **** like that?

YOU DID NOT READ PERIOD.

But you have internet access? Or are you using a friends or at the library?

I'm very lucky to have internet access. My leech of a brother has always done nothing and it's always been up to me to pay it, I work data entry and do not get paid very much. There's lots of things that I needed but could not get b/c this one bill (which should be a group effort) ongoing late fees, past dues, etc. I decided enough was enough, that I needed time for myself and I passed the bill onto him. Having internet next month doesn't even look good right now. I lose internet, I lose access to my job.

Instead of bitching about it, on a 4 page thread, get your priorities in order first, and worry about training later.

No ****! But people keep adding fuel to the fire and my reaction is to try to put it out.

 

[MJS]

How about the fact that I said I did not have a phone yet the very next post, kept telling me to call this, call that.

How about the fact that I said my funds were very tight right now, and you kept pressing about taxi cabs and **** like that?

YOU DID NOT READ PERIOD.

And here we have yet another excuse. First of all, chill out dude. No need to get huffy. Second of all, you have no friends, neighbors, nobody that will let you use a phone? And third, you've made it very clear that your funds are tight. So let me ask...why the hell did you start this thread? For sympathy?

I'm very lucky to have internet access. My leech of a brother has always done nothing and it's always been up to me to pay it, I work data entry and do not get paid very much. There's lots of things that I needed but could not get b/c this one bill (which should be a group effort) ongoing late fees, past dues, etc. I decided enough was enough, that I needed time for myself and I passed the bill onto him. Having internet next month doesn't even look good right now. I lose internet, I lose access to my job.



No ****! But people keep adding fuel to the fire and my reaction is to try to put it out.

Again, you need to get your priorities in order. Training is nothing to worry about right now. I wish you well.

 

[Tez3]

How about the fact that I said I did not have a phone yet the very next post, kept telling me to call this, call that.

How about the fact that I said my funds were very tight right now, and you kept pressing about taxi cabs and **** like that?

YOU DID NOT READ PERIOD.



I'm very lucky to have internet access. My leech of a brother has always done nothing and it's always been up to me to pay it, I work data entry and do not get paid very much. There's lots of things that I needed but could not get b/c this one bill (which should be a group effort) ongoing late fees, past dues, etc. I decided enough was enough, that I needed time for myself and I passed the bill onto him. Having internet next month doesn't even look good right now. I lose internet, I lose access to my job.



No ****! But people keep adding fuel to the fire and my reaction is to try to put it out.

I believe America has pay phones which I doubt cost very much so it wasn't wrong telling you to call.

Firstly I would start by looking for another job, perhaps even one that comes with accomodation, make a new start. I wouldn't worry about martial arts at this moment, sort your life out first.

A lot of us here don't 'do' sympathy but we do practical help and advice. It's no good us going 'oh you poor thing', it will do nothing to help you other than letting you sink into self pity. the thing to remember is that if you fall down seven times you bloody well get up eight times. So get up, get yourself a job somewhere else, anywhere else, don't look down your nose at any job, McDonalds might not be the best but it's a job, it pays money. Once you have a little money, start looking for places to train. the people here will tell you how to go about getting the best for the cheapest, we are all in a recession so your condition isn't unknown to us. Your fate is in your own hands not your brothers or your friends, it's up to yu to get out from under and make something of yourself.

One question, rather important..how old are you?

 

[coffeerox]

Second of all, you have no friends, neighbors, nobody that will let you use a phone?

You quoted me telling you nobody, this is an answer I've already provided.

One question, rather important..how old are you?

so I can be criticized even more further? I'm 26.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I just reread this entire thread

I hope to get a new job and move down to Tempe or Mesa and finally get a formal education so that I'm not mocked by people for learning it myself.

Sounds like a plan

I teach at the Christown YMCA in Phoenix, and at Kiwanis Park in Tempe. I may start another class at another park in the avenues. We'll see. My training partner (also doing WC/WT/VT since the late 70s and better than me) teaches in his garage in Peoria. His senior student teaches semi-privately out in Tolleson. His number two student is out in the East Valley towards Gilbert. Joy teaches Augustine Fong's WC at his home in Tempe. My Eskrima instructor also teaches a modified WC along with boxing and MMA. in the far E. Valley. There's also some EBMAS guys working privately in N. Scottsdale, and several other groups around, some teaching publicly. And if none of that works for you, I know some great FMA teachers working in parks and garages. Some top notch dudes.

Morever, if you get into a good group... people will help you out. For example, one of my students was out of work, had transportation issues and couldn't afford lesson fees. But he's really dedicated... so we got together, helped line up a temporary job for him and arranged for him to car-pool with other students. Problem solved!

So, like if you need a bike to get to the bus stops, I've got an old one I'd give you...if you were serious about training. Most instructors are like that. You just have to hold up your side of the bargain and show some dedication! So get on it dude!

OK it appears the Wing Chun problem may have been solved about two pages ago

 

[Tez3]

You quoted me telling you nobody, this is an answer I've already provided.



so I can be criticized even more further? I'm 26.

Not in the least! to me ( being old) you are very young still ( yeah I know how annoying that is when people say that lol) , my daughter is only a year younger and my son several years older. You are too young to be set in your ways, still have your life in front of you.


I don't do CMA but I imagine it's hard to do on your own. If stuck training on your own chose something simpler for the time being. You can I believe download Bas Ruttan's Muay Thai work outs as well as his all round workouts, if you can't I will quite happily send you CDs ( I'm sure the UK ones are the same as the US ones?). This means you can train on your own, it's not complicated stuff but it's something and you can do it on your own with or without a punch bag.
It's frustrating not being to train as you want, I find it awful that I'm too old to fight so I ref and help train others, we all have to compromise somewhere along the line but whereas I'm only going to get older (argh, depressing thought!) you can make things better for youself. Let your guard down a bit here and you'll find people friendlier. we are a nice lot really, honest! :ultracool

 

[geezer]

Again, you need to get your priorities in order. Training is nothing to worry about right now. I wish you well.

Can't say I agree. Yes, MJS, you're right about the first part. As Coffeerox himself has said, he needs to get his life together. On the other hand, committing yourself to MA training can be a great way to start getting it together, rather than just sitting around and getting really negative. On the "beginners" sub-forum there was a similar question raised. Somebody posted saying that they were really out of shape and asked if they should wait and get fit first before starting MA. Most everybody responded to the effect of, "NO! Just get started and you will get fit as you train". I'd say the same thing to Coffeerox. Start training and you might find the motivation to improve your situation!

In fact, I just started a new thread in the "Beginners Corner" to consider this very question. Please join me there.

 

[Xue Sheng]

Can't say I agree. Yes, MJS, you're right about the first part. As Coffeerox himself has said, he needs to get his life together. On the other hand, committing yourself to MA training can be a great way to start getting it together, rather than just sitting around and getting really negative. On the "beginners" sub-forum there was a similar question raised. Somebody posted saying that they were really out of shape and asked if they should wait and get fit first before starting MA. Most everybody responded to the effect of, "NO! Just get started and you will get fit as you train". I'd say the same thing to Coffeerox. Start training and you might find the motivation to improve your situation!

In fact, I just started a new thread in the "Beginners Corner" to consider this very question. Please join me there.

It Helped Robert Downey Jr