Problems in my class...

[MJS]

Well, got off the phone with the home office. They say they tried to contact the parents before class was put on tonight. They were able to contact dad and explain everything to him. Since he wasn't a part of the whole thing, I don't think he grasps what the whole range of the issue. He did say that they DON'T beat him and he would take care of mom's actions before going in tonight. They also reinforced that those types of things are not acceptable in class and only deconstructs the idea/feeling of safety that's being built at every class. This goes for both the individual student AND the rest of the class. I'll let everyone know what happens tonight at class. I've got a bit of anxiety to be honest. I don't want a scene in front of all the children. Wish me luck!

Its nice to see that progress is being made on this. Hopefully, there will be no other incidents like this.

Did your home office offer any suggestions to help you with the student during class time?

Let us know how class goes!

Mike

 

[Jonathan Randall]

Well, got off the phone with the home office. They say they tried to contact the parents before class was put on tonight. They were able to contact dad and explain everything to him. Since he wasn't a part of the whole thing, I don't think he grasps what the whole range of the issue. He did say that they DON'T beat him and he would take care of mom's actions before going in tonight. They also reinforced that those types of things are not acceptable in class and only deconstructs the idea/feeling of safety that's being built at every class. This goes for both the individual student AND the rest of the class. I'll let everyone know what happens tonight at class. I've got a bit of anxiety to be honest. I don't want a scene in front of all the children. Wish me luck!

Good work. You have demonstrated leadership in this by not taking the easy way out.

 

[arnisador]

Keep at it. You're doing good work on behalf of a child, and maybe of an entire family. This is a good thing.

 

[Ceicei]

How did the class go tonight? Did the mom and her son come?

- Ceicei

 

[Dalum]

Well...

The whole family (minus dad) came. Mom stood up as her youngest started getting out of line then I glared at her. She immediately sat down. So that is a good indication that she knows that I know. She completely ignored me as she signed her kids in and as she signed them out. No incident. Unfortunately, her son was only able to hod concentration for about half the class. With the efforts of all of us to get through stretching and the first half of the class it wasn't enought to keep him from making his mom make the decision of pulling him. Honestly, I see that as a frustrated cop out from mom more than anything. I'm sad to see him go, as with any of my students, but this particular one more so. I love the challenge of overcoming adversity and seeing one's life become enriched. I hope to see him again as he grows older and is able to communicate through sign. I'm a bit bummed but there's only so much I can do when it's a parent making a decision.

 

[shesulsa]

Fred, that's really a shame that you can't have the boy in class. I'm sure a good program is something that this boy really needs. Kudos to you for making your point silently and we can all only hope things get better for this child and this family.

 

[CrankyDragon]

Being hyothetical (Sp!), if this were to happen, then the instructor should feel no guilt about the situation. The term "eyes in the back of your head" is just a term, theres no such thing. The instructor was not made a fool of, just manipulated without there knowledge.

Upon discovery, if it were me, I would have to inform the parent that that is unacceptable behavior on behalf of the parent and that I could no longer accept the student into the school and that you have a moral obligation to contact the proper authorities to submit a report on your findings. Tell them that this is not the kind of action that is acceptable for a school regardless of the teaching, and you cannot risk the emotional well being of the other students.

Anyway, its not your fault so dont feel the guilt of the mother/child relationship. But if this instructor did in fact observe this, then they would really need to call CPS and file a report. If this is a problem, paperwork would lead to an investigation after multiple complaints/reports. Kids, no matter the problem, shouldnt be ruled like that. Its just wrong IMHO.

My little girl is a little ADD, she gets it from me, but she doesnt needs meds. Just strong guidence and lots of love and attention. Its working out fine, but the wife is pulling her hair out. I know what is ticking in her head and can work things out with here.

IMHO, this is a deep rooted problem in the family and you are only making an impact at the time the family is at the dojo, and theres little positive that you can do outside of that. The problem will still persist for the kid, and its too much to have to monitor the parents and kids at the same time. Its just not productive, and uncalled for... again, IMHO.


Anyway, HTH..
Andrew

 

[arnisador]

You did well in a difficult situation. She'll behave differently next time. It's a pity for the child, but that can't be helped.

 

[chinto01]

Fred it sounds to me like you did everything you could to help the situation. I think the mother should look to continue her childs training in the form of private or semi-private lessons. With time he may have come around but who knows now.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[MJS]

Sorry to hear that she decided to take the easy way out and pull her child from the school. Have you given any thought to the private lessons?? Maybe if you sat down privately with both parents and discussed things, they might consider re-enrolling the child.

Mike

 

[arnisador]

Private lessons could be a good idea. The parents may also have made an informed decision that the child just isn't ready for this yet. It's hard to say.