Parenting Question

[michaeledward]

Food for thought: I agree that the 21 limit is silly, but it is the law. If you allow your kids to drink before they are legally able, what are you teaching them about obeying laws?

This is a realistic, and difficult challenge to address. In my home, it is not an issue, because we don't keep alcohol around the house much. I am a big fan of 'drawing inside the lines'. There is some legitimate merit that adults should not teach children to break the law.

While alcohol is a drug, it is also, and primarily a food. It should be treated as a food. Of course, we obese Americans have never demonstrated our ability to avoid gluttony very well. Just because the resturaunt sells a 28 ounce steak, it does not follow that we must order and eat a 28 ounce steak. Having a glass of wine with a meal does not mean tapping a keg at the meal.

I don't think that exposing youngsters to alcohol at an early age has much effect on whether or not they develop into alcoholics as much as the heritage of the young person dictates that. As we have discussed here before, cultures with longer exposure to alcohol (Italian, Greek, Jewish) have lower incidences of alcoholism than those cultures with shorter exposures to alcohol (Irish, Native American).

 

[Andrew Green]

Just because the resturaunt sells a 28 ounce steak, it does not follow that we must order and eat a 28 ounce steak.

Sometimes I agree with your posts, other times I disagree.

But in this matter sir, you are most definately wrong as it absolutely follows that we must order said steak. It was written in the sacred scriptures, and so it is a universal truth.

"Thou shalt order thyself the largest, and juiciest of steaks, lest thou shalt forever be refered to as a Panzy"

It's in the commandments, "Book of Man"

 

[CoryKS]

I don't think that the age at which you introduce alcohol to your children has any bearing on whether that child will be a responsible drinker. My family allowed me the occasional sips / small cups when I was younger. It didn't stop me from effectively drinking away my 20's. Responsible drinking comes when the individual recognizes and respects the potential danger in drinking to excess. It is a force, like electricity, that can be used safely or otherwise.

Some kids, you tell them to stay away from the outlets or they'll get electrocuted, and they stay away. Others go looking for a screwdriver to poke it with.

 

[Flatlander]

I think that I'd have to answer with an "it depends...."

I view the idea of sharing 'parenting philosophies' much in the same light as everything else - it must be understood within it's proper context. So, how I teach my progeny about alcohol and other drugs will be within the context of responsible decision making. I'd much rather teach my child to think than to follow my example. Perhaps my example would be wrong for them within the context of how they self identify.

So, having said that, I think that I'd be more likely to have a discussion with my child about alcohol when they bring it up. I'd be more likely to start setting limits with them after having had a reasonable discussion about the truths of alcohol - that it will impair them, what that means, how it may manifest, what the risks are, etc.

Regarding the 'in the home first' idea, I don't think that I'd be the guy to make alcohol a 'common theme' with dinner for my kids. I might, however, be inclined to let them have a beer with dad after we've been outside working on the yard on Saturday afternoon, or something. Again, within some type of limit that we have previously identified.

Interesting question. Good discussion. :asian:

 

[stephen]

From what I understand about most cultures where wine is consumed often with meals, younger ones are started with a wine/water mix which, at first, is not much more than a few drops of wine with a full glass of water.

As they get older, the mix becomes more wine less water.

 

[bushi jon]

I was raised drinking wine at dinner time and brew after dinner. I there for no longer drink any type of alchol but with that said if my kids ask for a sip of wine I do not chastise them I hand it to them and they say no thanks.

 

[Drac]

A couple of suggestions...

In your own home, your own kids are your business. I'd strongly urge that the rule be that they can only have wine when it's family -- no friends. That way you avoid any issues where someone else's kids feel drinking is OK in your house.

Also -- I'd strongly suggest that the rule be no wine if they will be leaving the house, especially if they'll be driving. Underage possession and driving with more than trace amounts (.02 g/210 l breath or .02% BAC in VA) laws are pretty strict -- and strictly enforced.

Like I said -- it's your business in your home. Just keep it there!

Well said Jim...

 

[Carol]

Meh....just make sure he gets good grades in Math and Science. Then you can send him to engineering school and be pretty much guaranteed that he won't be partying

 

[Drac]

Hey Parents...Prom night is approaching..and it is NOT ok if they drink the alcohol you purchased and in your house...That's trouble you don't need..

 

[Ping898]

Something Ironically enough from Today's Dear Abby.....don't know who ehr experts are, but....here's her response on a similar topic though more applicable to underage drinking....take it for whatever it is worth....

DEAR REAR ADM. MORITSUGU: I'm sure your offer will be appreciated and acted upon by parents nationwide. There is still a common misunderstanding about underage alcohol use. My experts tell me that young people who start drinking before age 15 are five times more likely to have alcohol problems later in life. Also, new research indicates that alcohol may harm the developing adolescent brain.
Parents and other adults who are not sure why -- or how -- to help young people avoid alcohol should ask the National Clearinghouse for "Start Talking Before They Start Drinking: A Family Guide." It's a booklet developed in conjunction with an Ad Council public education campaign bearing that title.

 

[michaeledward]

I think that many times public face discussions present an agenda point of view, rather than scientific data. As you ask - Who are the experts? Let's see the statistics and methodologies.

We certainly know there is an agenda to prevent drinking in this country. See 18th Amendment. We are still a country of puritans.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

... maybe a half a glass of wine with food before 16 and a beer 16 and above
​

My wife thinks this way too, which doesn't make any damn sense to me. I know there's this cultural thing about how wine is for successful folk and beer is for slobs, but wine has 3-6 times the alcohol of beer. Seriously, since my main concern is does alcohol hurt the developing brain, beer is a much, much better option....

What's up with that attitude?

 

[michaeledward]

I think your estimate is a bit off.

Wine will have a slightly higher alcohol content than beer. To get to six times the amount of alcohol, you need to look to fortified wines compared to very weak beers. With natural fermentation, beer will be about 4 to 6 % alcohol whereas wine will be about 10 to 14 % alcohol. So, a more accurate assessment would be that alcohol in wine is about two times the content as the alcohol in beer. But, the serving size is essentially half - a glass of wine will be about 6 fluid ounces to a 12 fluid ounce beer.

So, a glass of beer and a glass of wine, are about the same.

Or so I think.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

of course, i'd be serving a shot glass at first, regardless of potable.

 

[jks9199]

I think your estimate is a bit off.

Wine will have a slightly higher alcohol content than beer. To get to six times the amount of alcohol, you need to look to fortified wines compared to very weak beers. With natural fermentation, beer will be about 4 to 6 % alcohol whereas wine will be about 10 to 14 % alcohol. So, a more accurate assessment would be that alcohol in wine is about two times the content as the alcohol in beer. But, the serving size is essentially half - a glass of wine will be about 6 fluid ounces to a 12 fluid ounce beer.

So, a glass of beer and a glass of wine, are about the same.

Or so I think.

It depends on how you define a "glass" or a "beer."

12 oz of (most) beer in the US = 4 oz of wine = 1.5 oz of hard liquor, as a general rule. They all provide about the same amount of alcohol.

One important thing to note... Wine pours and beer servings are notoriously variable, especially at home. Cocktails or mixed drinks are little more consistent, by their nature. (Of course, my folks's martini was about 2 to 3 martinis, by "official" measure!)

 

[Tez3]

Living in a country where alcohol and the young has become a serious problem, we seem to have become the binge drinking capital of the world. The general attitude towards alcohol in this country is that it's almost like a forbidden fruit until you become an adult, the introduction of alcopops (alcohol with a sweet mixer in small bottles, don't know if you've got them) encouraged teenagers to drink them to excess - legal drinking age is 18 here. It seems getting drunk is now the sole point of going out. The streets on many of our cities and towns are now awash with young people and the not so young, fighting, being sick and falling all over the place. Young girls baring their backsides to the cctv cameras, language that would make a marine blush and the general feeling of a world gone mad.
Contrast this with the France and Italy where alcohol is served at family meals being regarded as just part of the meal. The young people sit quite happily drinking coffee and looking very cool! I go on holiday most years to France, sadly many other Brits go too. Then is the contrast is very apparent, the British kids are falling around drunk on the cheap drinks
while the Franch, Italians, Germans etc are having a very good sober time!

When my daughter was about 14 we allowed her to bring a friend on holdiay with us, the first night we were in France (Port Grimaud a very popular holiday resort in the south of France, attracts many nationalities) we went to a cafe, we had a beer each, allowed the girls to have one - they chose a tequila flavoured beer ugh- and we sat people watching. We didn't have to say a word to the girls, they both commented on an English girls who was so drunk she fell into a bush, her short skirt going over her head,shreeching at the top of her voice. There were some very good looking Italian boys at the next table, well dressed ( oh to have been younger and single lol) drinking expressos, the look on their faces of sheer horror and derision was enough for the girls!
The rest of the holiday we let them go out on their own and never did they get drunk, they made friends with some Italians and well as some French and had a great time.They spent the day on the beach with their new friends ( no hangovers) and evenings dancing, chatting and flirting as they should lol! (No drunken fumblings or sex/rape) This continued for the next couple of years until my daughter left home to work, she still doesn't drink to excess. The girls felt very sophisicated next to the other British girls and we didn't have to worry about them more than normal.

I've always tried to have the same, Continental attitude to alcohol, my parents were the same, we had watered wine at meals from an early age. Alcohol was regarded as a pleasant addition to meals or a night out with friends etc. Sadly in Britain in some places drinking to excess has been accepted as the thing to do, this goes back a long way. Scotland I believe has the highest rate of alcoholism in Europe if not the world. Ireland I think is not far behind it. It's been this way for a very long time.the Government keeps saying something has to be done but then allowed 24 hour opening for pubs and clubs!