It's been an interesting journey. I've taught these kids for a while and I know how unstable their lives can be. Trying to keep a MA class going through that instability is challenging.
I started with a large number of students...15. For our school, that is big. Then the fallout began. Some stopped showing up after the first class...and I figured that would happen. I wasn't going to teach them backflips or any other movie stuff. We began with the basics.
After the first week, I was down to 10. We kept on going and I was consistent with my discipline and ettiquette expectations so some kids chafed...but did all right. The next major fallout happened when the techniques started to get difficult. Many of these kids have a hard time trying something and not being very good at it. They don't have a very high self esteem so it is often easier to quit before one can fail. I chased after five kids outside of class and did everything I could to keep them coming up to the gym to work out, but in the end, they were making a decision and that was that. They still talk to me about it and they are interested, so they may try it again in the future...
For about a month, I had a core group of kids together. We went down the list and learned alot and had fun. Then outside issues started to intrude on their lives. Some of the kids I had were on probation and to the number, they violated their probation and ended up in lock up. Another student relapsed and had major chemical issues. He ended up in treatment. By the end of the second month, I was down to two students...a boy and a girl. They both hated each other btw - but they left that off the mat...to their credit.
Something very interesting happened to one of my students that shows to me that all of this was having an impact. The male student that I had left had been in and out of lock-up for years. He had created lots of issues for himself in the past and had a pretty substantial rep. I talked to both of these kids about my expectations and about violence and I invited them both to my dojang downtown. They both showed up and were good TSD students.
At school, however, the male student had a lot of people who really like him too much. There were some bf/gf issues and two girls decided to settle it. They jumped him as he was walking to class and Pat did everything he could to keep them off of him and try to get away. In the past, this would have escalated and gotten really messy, but all of the de-escalation techniques and SD mindset stuff was paying off. I personally broke this altercation up and no one was hurt, no weapons were drawn, and everyone walked away. The decision was made later to kick all three people out of school, however...so now I was down to one.
I still allow Pat to come to my dojang down town. He's been a regular student and has even worked out with the local ALC how he can turn the class into credit toward graduation. He can't afford the tuition, so I made a trade with him. He now assists me on some of the community service projects I'm involved with. This kid was a straight up thug before this class and we've really gone a long way. There are still some issues, but they are working themselves out.
Anyway, the two kids that were locked up are coming back on Monday. I really have high hopes for both of them and I have a good relationship with both of them. I'm going to continue to teach them TSD and I've invited both of them on my BWCAW experiential learning trip to work with them even more. The other kid, the one who went into treatment, is going to be tough. He came back last week and I've been working really hard with him. He's got a tough situation; nowhere to live, no parents who care, no money or job or time or skills, and a drug addiction to boot. I don't know how he's going to manage his life, it seems like a recipe for relapse. We'll see what happens.
So, on monday, I'll have four students in my school and two more at my dojang. The other two may come to my dojang also, but I haven't talked to them about it yet. All of them are good kids and I've seen a lot of positive growth. They respect me and I respect them and for most of them, this is probably the first time in their lives that they've experienced that.
The bottom line is that this thing is now established. The kids know about it and are thinking about it and I know that some of the more tentative will eventually give it another try. The other thing is that, since we are established, the kids have now had some time to get comfortable with the change in our school. As miniscule as that sounds, it actually is a pretty big deal. Change = chaos to these kids and they need time to learn to trust it. This year has been rocky, but I know from experience that next year will go a little better...and the year after will be better still.
It just takes time. Miracles don't happen overnight.
upnorthkyosa
ps - thanks, Mike, the kids were amazed that you did what you did and will soon be writing letters.
