My hardest choice

[DemonSlayer]

Hello you all I came to the hardest choice I ever had to make so far in my life. I think I may have to leave my friends. I only have two so called "good friends" in my high school. They changed I mean I'm like rated R and there like G. They turned in little girls, all they do is whine and make fun of each other. I know I need better friends then that. They are two face, one when around a group of certain people will act as if were not there and the other will sell us out if the girl is fly enough. It use not to be like that we were friends since the fourth grade (I'm in 9th) but they changed. The only reason I think we are even still friends now is because we been friends so long it is normal. I would of found new friends a while ago but my school sucks and they are the only people who use there head in my sucka school. If I leave I would be all by myself but I am willing to take that chance, I would rather eat lunch by myself then here there arguments or talk on how cuss words should be illegal. So what do you all think I should do, I need advice.

 

[arnisador]

This'll be a recurring theme throughout your life. It can happen for any number of reasons--different rates of maturing, differing experiences, etc. There's only one person from high school I see with any regularity (Renegade). You drift apart. I'm afraid this is part of the melancholy of life.

So, my advice is the not-to-helpful, Be Philosophical.

 

[Johnathan Napalm]

Time to grow up.

 

[yilisifu]

Sounds like you're moving into a different level of maturity and understanding. Sadly, this IS part of growing up. There's no need to refuse to "be friends" with your old pals, but it's probably time to seek out others with whom you are more comfortable.

 

[Zepp]

Best advice I can give you is "don't burn your bridges." There's nothing wrong with seeking out friends that you have more in common with, but don't completely abandon or make enemies out your "lesser" friends. At the very least, you never know when you might need a favor.

 

[Jill666]

There's no need to be rude, but yes, it is a fact of life. I'm 33, and have one friend since age 7 who I still adore. Otherwise, well life is about getting out there, learning & growing. It's good that you see this at your age.

Choose your new friends with care- especially in high school you will be judged by them.

:yinyang:

Welcome, by the way.

 

[Yari]

You either accept or dont. Either way you'll have to live with the consequences.

To learn to like somebody who isn't up to your own standards is very hard, but I think very giving. Because accepting others as they are, is also understanding others.

You may be too young to do that now ( I know I was at that age), so it just might come later.

It's a good raod to travel, but be careful you dont kill off all posibilties. You only exsist because of others. And remember that they grow when coming into contact with you.

/Yari

 

[girlychuks]

but have a 21 yo brother and 16 year old sister- up until Jan 5th I had a 7 year old duaghter in the arts. i am very close to all of them. So I have the privilege of knowing and loving someone in each age bracket, in different stages of life. I have friends from age 50 to age 12.

What I have learned so far, the current truth I am following, is to be true to yourself, and try to conduct yourself with honor and uphold your good name. Even if you are in bad company (ie, your friends are making fun of someone) you do not have to follow in their actions, indeed, it is honorable of you to voice support or point out the good points of who/whatever it is they may be degrading.

In high school, it seems as if friends are everything. I think that is sad, because it takes years after graduation to undo that thinking and to realize that it is yourself and family that is of the utmost importance. When I realized this, I felt guilt because of all the time and energy I had spent on useless things, rather than the people I should have loved most.

Can I suggest a book? it is called "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls" by Mary Pipher. Even if you don;t read it, ask your parents to. It is a fabulous book and gives a lot of perspective.

 

[Master of Blades]

From your profile it says your 14....Only a year younger then me and your black in TKD! Lol I have my work cut out. Anyways...where was I.....

Oh yeah......I've had the same problem in the past. Lucky for me my best friend decided to take my lead and join me. Soon everyone was starting to see it our way. Its not so much being sheep, more being shown the light in my opinion. When I showed them that there bitching and argueing was not what I needed as friends they realised that they were being slightly childish most of the time. Now our conversations start off about Wrestling and move onto Apartheid and the effects it had on the world! On occasion we still act silly and have crappy arguments about which sounds better out of Flatulance or farting. The bitching has toned down slightly but of course as usual one of my friends does sell out to the girls.....Even if they aint fly lol! When it comes to that...Friends are for life, Girls come and go....So any guy who sells out like that aint gonna be a long time friend. Well thats my load...Hope I've Helped slightly :asian:

 

[Kroy]

Friends are the family you choose yourself.

 

[Patty]

Honey, I wish I could help you. I'm a Brownie leader and we were having a discussion on situations similar to what you're currently going through. What I found most interesting, was that ALL of the girls felt the same way at different times, from the most popular to the least. Ultimately, we're all human and we all share the same experiences. My work can get kind of tense at times and without sounding like a hippie, I came up with a mantra that I say (almost daily sometimes). "We are all human, imperfect and flawed. Don't expect perfection from others or ourselves or you will be disappointed. Instead, if you look for the good, you will be rewarded." My coworkers have started to say it now, and believe that it really helps. Good luck to you and know that there are people who care.

 

[moromoro]

lets keep this about martial arts guys
any personal problems go seek some professional advice
most of us cannot help you we are not qualified.
best see your doctor

thanks

terry

 

[Master of Blades]

Originally posted by moromoro
lets keep this about martial arts guys
any personal problems go seek some professional advice
most of us cannot help you we are not qualified.
best see your doctor

thanks

terry

..........*Keeps quiet*

Actually no.......I can do this nicely!

Dont you think thats a bit heartless? I mean its not exactly like this guy is changing the whole of Martial Talk into an agony aunt forum with this ONE post! He's younger then me....And just wanted some advice from some older more mature Martial Arts people. Its not like he has a disease and has to go to a doctor. All he wants is advice and past experiances from us. He never asked for professional doctors opinions :asian:

But hey, you got your views and I got mine, just thought that was a bit cold :asian:

 

[moromoro]

you should give advice on these matters unless you have a phd in psychology or councellor or you are a doctor, it can BE VERY DANGEROUS TO GIVE ADVICE TO SOMEONE LIKE THIS WHO IS HAVING PERSONNAL PROBLEMS, HE MIGHT TAKE THE ADVICE THE WRONG WAY. IT IS SAFER TO SEEK PRFESSIONAL HELP FOR THE INDIVIDUAL INVOLVE

AND LETS KEEP THIS FORUM ABOUT TOPICS ON THE MARTIAL ARTS OR MARTIAL ARTS RELATING

THANKS GUYS

TERRY

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Nothing cold about the advice....IMO. Was actually good.

I'm on several boards and often times folks ask for advice that in no way shape or form should you seek online.

The old "well, I play one on TV' is too often true on the net.

When seeking info online, also follow it up with a professional consultation. This is especially true of legal or medical advice.

This particular thread was more of an opinion request, and I think the bulk of the info was constructive, and hopefully did help.


The only sidebar I have here is, while most of the board is aimed at martial arts, we have a few sections that are more open. The Locker Room is one. We have moved this topic there as it better fits.


:asian:

 

[Nightingale]

Originally posted by DemonSlayer
Hello you all I came to the hardest choice I ever had to make so far in my life. I think I may have to leave my friends. I only have two so called "good friends" in my high school. They changed I mean I'm like rated R and there like G. They turned in little girls, all they do is whine and make fun of each other. I know I need better friends then that. They are two face, one when around a group of certain people will act as if were not there and the other will sell us out if the girl is fly enough. It use not to be like that we were friends since the fourth grade (I'm in 9th) but they changed. The only reason I think we are even still friends now is because we been friends so long it is normal. I would of found new friends a while ago but my school sucks and they are the only people who use there head in my sucka school. If I leave I would be all by myself but I am willing to take that chance, I would rather eat lunch by myself then here there arguments or talk on how cuss words should be illegal. So what do you all think I should do, I need advice.

Well, I'd say try to find some things you're interested in and meet people that way. On the usual high school campus, there are lots of clubs and stuff. There are cultural clubs, academic clubs, art clubs, music and theatre clubs, leadership clubs, and athletic organizations. Try to find one that fits your interests, or one that you'd like to know more about, and go to a meeting. You might find people you have more in common with.

Also, does anyone at your school also attend your martial arts school? If so, try to get to know them better. If not, ask your school if you can run an ad in the school paper advertising the school, or if your school can do a demo during an assembly or at break time. You may make some new friends who are interested in your art.

Best of luck.

:asian:

 

[don bohrer]

DS,

It sounds like your just growning up faster than your friends. Remember what makes people friends is that you have something in common and enjoy doing things together. Summer is just around the corner and perhaps you will find things different after a little break. It's nice that you felt comfortable enough to come here for advice. We all do! We have a really good group of guys and gals that I am sure are always willing to help out.

 

[Billy Lear]

Hey MoroMoron,

This is the Locker Room, and anything can be talked about in here. That is, except yo mama!

:asian:

 

[Master of Blades]

Originally posted by Billy Lear
Hey MoroMoron,

This is the Locker Room, and anything can be talked about in here. That is, except yo mama!

:asian:

Nope thats reserved for The Humour Forum :rofl:

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Originally posted by Billy Lear
Hey MoroMoron,

This is the Locker Room, and anything can be talked about in here. That is, except yo mama!

:asian:

.

This thread was initially in the General Arts section, and that is when Moromoro's reply was entered.

Also, please keep it polite and friendly. While the Locker Room does allow for the discussion of almost ny non-martial arts topic, it is still bound by our forum rules.

General Rules:
· No Flame Wars. Keep it civil, please.
· Keep the language civil. No profanity.
· Please post to the correct forum, for a reason and on topic. Do not cross post to multiple forums.
· Be respectful of the other arts, and your fellow members.
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· If you have a problem with another member, contact a moderator to handle it.
· Take the time to explore the Help, FAQ and User CP.

:asian: