Monarch of the Mountain

[Makalakumu]

upnorthkyosa looks down at the crater his brother thinks he left him in and laughs. "Spirit bombs harm me not, I am an agnostic nontheist and it turns out that my guess was correct."

upnorthkyosa then uses his chi to take control of HAARP. The newly mind controlled slaves in Fairbanks Alaska bounce a massive EMP off of the ionosphere and onto Elder999. Elder999's five "highly trained" falcons swoop down to feast on his well done corpse as I become king of the mountain.

 

[kid]

I walk up the mountain and place all his fishing gear near him and tell him that I got him a babysitter for the weekend and that he needs to go fishing. He walks off the mountain in pursuit of fish. I reclaim my seat as monarch of the mountain.

 

[someguy]

While all of this insanity is happening I rigg up the mountaun to blow(trust me it isn't easy) blow up the mountain. And sit on the old one. I'm the monarch of the old school mountain.

 

[Lisa]

Yeah. Whatever.

Walks up to someguy. Kicks him in the...well you get it. PMS abouding

I once again I RULE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[elder999]

Yeah. Whatever.

Walks up to someguy. Kicks him in the...well you get it. PMS abouding

I once again I RULE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I visit the stereo store, pick up a few things, then visit the lab, pick up a few more things, then get my ham radio. I fabricate a 7 hertz sonic generator; I direct a 7 hertz signal at Lisa's head, and she falls down twitching-I roll her down the mountain to once again become monarch of the mountain....

Bwahahaha-and all that.......

 

[crushing]

Oh man, that cabbage-n-egg salad sandwich with a side of chili isn't sitting well. Hey, where did elder999 go? Oh well, I'll just stay up here and air out a little while.

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

Oh man, that cabbage-n-egg salad sandwich with a side of chili isn't sitting well. Hey, where did elder999 go? Oh well, I'll just stay up here and air out a little while.

Dang. You beat me to it.

 

[elder999]

Oh man, that cabbage-n-egg salad sandwich with a side of chili isn't sitting well. Hey, where did elder999 go? Oh well, I'll just stay up here and air out a little while.

elder999 went to Hollywood, to buy one of those big wind machines, with which he blows crushing-and his fumes-away!

Oh, and:

upnorthkyosa then uses his chi to take control of HAARP.

There is no HAARP, at least, not the HAARP you're looking for. Move along. Move along....he-he

 

[Zepp]

At Zepp's signal, the alien mothership appears above elder999 and beams him aboard for a "probing party." The ship then enters hyperspace and appears in it's home system in the far reaches of the galaxy. Coincidentally, the ship's hyperdrive battery is exhausted, and needs to be recharged over a period of 100 years before the ship can return to the location of the mountain.

Zepp, looking quite regal, marches to the summit of mountain, plants his flag, and is now Arch-Supreme Overlord of the Mountain.

 

[elder999]

At Zepp's signal, the alien mothership appears above elder999 and beams him aboard for a "probing party." The ship then enters hyperspace and appears in it's home system in the far reaches of the galaxy. Coincidentally, the ship's hyperdrive battery is exhausted, and needs to be recharged over a period of 100 years before the ship can return to the location of the mountain.

Zepp, looking quite regal, marches to the summit of mountain, plants his flag, and is now Arch-Supreme Overlord of the Mountain.

Said "probing party" turns out to be elder999 impregnating alien females, who are all beautiful combinations of the genetic material of Tyra Banks, Angelina Jolie and Marilyn Monroe. elder999 does so well, aliens crown him king for all eternity, and wait to obey is every command. At his order, monumental project is launched to return to earth inn record time, as well as transport Zepp to planet of the grey's, where, instead of being gruesomely violated, he is caged with one of the Tyra Banks clones, forever.

elder999 bids his alien subjects adieu, and is once more, monarch of the mountain (as well as ruler of an entire planet-thanks, Zepp!)

 

[someguy]

Someguy builds a giant sun blocking device...simpson have done that never mind...Ok ok how about...no wait simpsons have done that.Wait South Park did THIS...Umm ok plan C.SOmeguy goes streaking thus everyone runs away in terror. I am Monarch of the naked mountain.

 

[Zepp]

Having been rescued from the clutches of the Tyra Banks clone and brought back to Earth by his army of minions (stupid minions!) Zepp bravely approaches the unclothed Someguy (he's seen worse). Pointing off in the distance, Zepp yells "Look! It's a bright shiny object!" Someguy frantically runs down the mountain in search of the fictional object, leaving Zepp standing unchallenged as Grand Pooba of the Mountain.

 

[hong kong fooey]

Zepp is on the mountian all alone when HKF wlaks up behind him and throws a skunk on him causing him to get sprayed as he flls off the mountain. leaving HKF alone on the mountain

 

[elder999]

elder999 arrives with two quarts of Corazon Anejo (that's some fine! tequila....) and offers hong kong fooey the first of several shots. Rolls hong kong fooey's semi-comatose butt down the mountain, and staggers to to his place as monarch (hic!) of the mountain once more.....

 

[someguy]

Someguy sings the tequlia song in such a horrible manner that elder999 leaves the mountain in disgust vowing to never drink it again. Also to wear earplugs as soon as elder999's hearing returns.
We the great Someguy the sit around taking shots after removiong our royal ear plugs.
Ah it's good to be the king...of The Mountain.

 

[Lisa]

It has been 9 days and someguy has become sloppy and weak putting his guard down.

Lisa walks up quietly behind him and simply pushes him, rolling him down the mountain.

Simplicity rules.

I am now, once again, Monarch of the Mountain.

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

Boy, ar my dogs barkin'. Think I'll take off my shoes...the same polysynthetic baca bucci knock-offs I've been wearing for 3 weeks straight, over these crappy, on-sale nylon socks from the 99-cent store...that I put on just after I noticed the oncoming outbreak of dermatophytosis and athletes foot...right before this really bad heat wave we're having.

AAAHHhhhhhh....a first fresh breeze on my stifled feet. Hmm. I wonder what happened to that little white poodle that was here a second ago. I thought it might enjoy licking my feet. I sure woulda enjoyed the little doggy foot massage. Ah well. Think I'll just go stretch out on this oversized decorative chair over there and catch a few Z's...let my feet air out a bit.

 

[bluemtn]

AAAHHhhhhhh....a first fresh breeze on my stifled feet. Hmm. I wonder what happened to that little white poodle that was here a second ago. I thought it might enjoy licking my feet. I sure woulda enjoyed the little doggy foot massage. Ah well. Think I'll just go stretch out on this oversized decorative chair over there and catch a few Z's...let my feet air out a bit.

Kembudo- kai is suddenly woke up by a loud engine, from above. Before they begin to wonder what that sound is, they get blasted off the mountain by my penguins space ship!

AHH! Now I can finally sit back and relax! No one around for miles!!!

 

[someguy]

On my little meandering gentle fall down the mountain I happened to find yeti's. An army of them. I sent them up the mountain to deal with the penguins(doncha know yeti's and penguins are archrival's). Having seized control of the space ship I simply teleport the mountain about 50 feet to the right and watch from my throne as tkdgirl tried not to look down so as not to fall. This works rather well until of course I mention that her shoes are untied. Have a nice fall.

 

[elder999]

It's been more than a month, so I don't even have to sneak up on someguy to push him down the mountain, and claim my rightful place......hehe, complacency'll get ya every time....