Monarch of the Mountain

[bluemtn]

Just when elder999 thought he was in the clear... someone new comes in. You didn't hear them at first- they were moving so quietly, then WHAM!!!! You're hit from behind with a running tackle, claiming me, tkdgirl, the reigning champion and monarch of the mountain as you do somersaults all of the way down to the bottom!

 

[Cryozombie]

Lisa failed to realize the #1 thing any kid learned from every sho kosugi movie in the 80's:

Only a Ninja can Kill a Ninja.

So I pick myself off, do a quick Kuji: Rin Pyo To Sha Ki Jin Retsu Zai Zen and the bullet holes disapear.

TKDGIRL is patroling the mountain top, when she notices a ball of rice. "Mmm, she thinks, "I am hungry" and she gags on the poison rice ball. As she falls to the ground I just laugh atop my mountain.

 

[elder999]

Technopunk is in full-on ninja mode, and forgets all about technical methods. elder999 constructs pulsed rF generator at 2.4Hz, directs focused pulsed waveformdirectly at Technopunks head, causing seizures-Technopunk rolls down hill while foaming at mouth, convulsing and wetting pants......elder999 reigns supreme once more as monarch of the mountain....

 

[bushidomartialarts]

bushido martial arts begins a long, pedantic diatribe loaded with veiled threats, self-important rhetoric and internet forum bile. soon, all other competitors have fallen asleep from boredom or gone off to cruise kenpotalk.com.

he then proclaims himself KING OF THE MOUNTAIN, even though nobody cares but him.

 

[Ceicei]

I recover from elder999's poison. All of bushidomartialarts' diabribes fall on deaf ears. While he is all puffed up with hot air, I aim the snow-making machine at him and snow him under to a frozen death. Soon the mountain is all covered with snow. I strap on my snow-shoes and climb up, claiming myself:

Monarch of Snow Mountain!!!!
​

 

[bushidomartialarts]

being full of hot air, i easily melt the snow mountain with a single exhalation. all are washed away in the resulting flash flood as i waft gently above the carnage much like pompom on homestarrunner.

lightly i set foot down on the empty mountaintop.

i am the king of the mountain.

 

[elder999]

elder999 purchases pure teflon on e-Bay, and launches it in rocket with incediary charge-burning teflon results in heavier-than-air poison gas, descending on mountaintop and down mountain-sides, killing all within it's path almost instantly, and quite painfully. Wearing gas-mask and level A hazmat suit, elder999 ascends to mountaintop to reign, once again, as monarch of the mountain.

 

[Ceicei]

I take the antidote for the poison and recover. I muse. "He really likes poison." He needs a taste of his own. I plot a way to take revenge. I bring up a small nuclear missle full of the right kind of uranium. It is a miniature of the atomic bomb as a missle. I send it chasing after elder999 and it strikes upon impact with him, ripping his hazmat suit and mask, and elder999 dies from radiation sickness. After the wind blows the majority of the radiation away, I stride up, made strong from my antidote, and proclaim, "I am

MONARCH OF THIS MOUNTAIN

MINE FOREVERMORE!!"​

 

[elder999]

I take the antidote for the poison and recover. I muse. "He really likes poison."

Nah, just one of those unfortunate areas of expertise that I thought I'd have some fun with.

There is, btw, no antidote for the poison released from the oxidation of pure teflon, which is, naturally, a controlled substance, though it can, oddly, sometimes be obtained on e-Bay-a point of much discussion for me of late. The poison is, in fact, a toxin of extreme lethality, say, a 100% fatality at 80 ppm.

Overheating of PTFE generates fumes of highly toxic PFIB and poses a serious health hazard to the human respiratory tract. PFIB is approximately ten times as toxic as phosgene . Inhalation of this gas can cause pulmonary edema, which can lead to death. PFIB is included in Schedule 2 of the Chemical Weapons Convention (CWC), as a result of the prompting by one delegation to the Conference on Disarmament.

Most Teflon is treated to stabilize the PFIB, in case momma leaves a pan on the stove too long-though, oddly, non-stick pans are toxic to birds when burned. This stuff isn’t treated, though, and with a density of 0.15 g/cc,and its relatively low median lethal toxicity of between 5 and 350 ppm, depending on length of exposure, a stick of PTFE could produce enough PFIB to potentially kill a large theater full of people, say on the order of 10,000. You could buy it retail, or wholesale, but eBay is potentially anonymous-and most often cheaper.

Relax, though. While the burning of Teflon might be undetectable, it would require engineering a rather special set of circumstances to use it this way-you can’t just buy it and burn it, and you couldn’t readily ascertain how to do so through any commonly available sources….I think.

The fact is, one can obtain a variety of uncontrolled, untraceable materials with a minimum of knowledge, and fashion a variety of extremely lethal WMDs-though thermite, toluene and a variety of other chemicals don’t fall into this category, and Teflon disguises it…..as do many pesticides.

It would take alittle less than a pound of teflon to kill everyone in the Pontiac Silverdome.......

On the other hand, if I, long relatively immune to the hazards of radiation and uranium, due to career long exposure, and only appearing to be dead whilst plotting and recovering,were to take common pool chlorine and brake fluid, and mix them, they would spontaneously combust in an explosive release of burning poisonous gas, wiping ceicei from the side of the mountain in flames, suffocating from severely damaged lungs with supperating sores-well, I'd be monarch of the mountain, wouldn't I?

Instead,though, I just pop up and scare her, 'cause she thought I was dead, and shove her off while she's standing there in shock-I'm monarch once more......

 

[Ceicei]

I'm definitely shocked! I tumble down into a hole underground, and meet my two buddies, the green and black dragons. I whistle softly in code, and they fly out, quickly grabbing elder999. They fly in opposite directions, ripping him apart with agonizing pain. I wave to my dragons in thanks, and reclaim my throne!

 

[bushidomartialarts]

dragons? we're using dragons?

well, then, i roll 3d20 and teleport the whole damn mountain to a pocket dimension where every living being worships me as a god. they proclaim me king of the mountain in a festival of bloody revelry that would make a drunk aztec wince.

 

[Hand Sword]

I, having Sauron's ring of power on, being invisible, attempting to steal the dragons treasure below, am transported with the mountain. Everyone being very drunk passes out. I Hand Sword cut BushidoMartialarts and the rest of the bodies down, and roll them off the mountain. Leaving me King of the mountain!

 

[someguy]

While bushidomartialarts in variably rolls for a saving throw I the magnificent great umm other nice sounding words for my title (but not fluffy) Someguy appear with a giant stick and chase them all away (all while hoping they don't remember they can probably beat me down).
I am the the magnificent great and umm stuff Monarch of the Mountain

 

[kid]

Since nobody is watchingwhat is happening off of the mountain I manage to build a bigger and better in every way mountain next to the old tiny one that people are fighting over. Chuck Norris and I watch from my mountain peak as we sip on gin and juice.

 

[Makalakumu]

Since nobody is watchingwhat is happening off of the mountain I manage to build a bigger and better in every way mountain next to the old tiny one that people are fighting over. Chuck Norris and I watch from my mountain peak as we sip on gin and juice.

Chuck takes a sip from his glass and roundhouse kicks your *** so hard that you fly into one of the tiny curled up string theory dimensions. Chuck then moves over and upnorthkyosa appears on your new psuedomountain. Chuck takes one look at my +10 vorpal flame tongue holy avenging foot of slaying, puts up his hands and walks off the mountain. Thor comes down from the heavens and names my leg Mjolnir 2.0 and I promptly bust out a round house kick that Nighogg feels at the base of Yggsdrasil. The World Serpent shivers in fear and the entire world quakes at my presence.

 

[elder999]

elder999 releases 5 specially trained peregrine falcons, which pick up unorthkyosa's lightweight and gently deposit him at the foot of the next mountain over....I am monarch of the mountain....

 

[kid]

Betrayed, by my own brother and Chuck Norris. Not cool. I instant transmission back to MY mountain, blast a spirit bomb at upnorthkyosa, point my finger at elder999 and say bang, he wets himself and throws himself off My mountain in sheer terror of my Awsomeness, and rugged good looks. I fly over to the top of the mountain and turn too look at my destruction of upnorthkyosa, a huge crater is now where he and the old mountain were. I pear into the crater and see a black belt blowing in the dusty wind. I turn and look where elder had thrown himself and there he is walking away in shame. I tilt my head to the side until my neck cracks and the mountain shivers. Elder999 loses his balance and falls the rest of the way down never to be seen again. I grab my cocktail and sit in my lawn chair as monarch of the mountain.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

too bad the lawn chair is one of the cheap wal-mart versions. it collapses under your weight and you fall to the ground, stunned and bruised minorly.

as you sprint for your lawyer's office, hoping to cash in with a lawsuit, i saunter to the craggy peak, for i am the king of the mountain.

 

[kid]

too bad the lawn chair is one of the cheap wal-mart versions. it collapses under your weight and you fall to the ground, stunned and bruised minorly.

as you sprint for your lawyer's office, hoping to cash in with a lawsuit, i saunter to the craggy peak, for i am the king of the mountain.

A jedi cares not for these things. As I come back to my mountain from defeating the Evil Empire, (wal-mart) I notice that someone has been inhabiting my mountain. I walk up to bushidomartialarts and wave my open hand, palm facing him from right to left, and say this Mountain was never yours and now you will leave and never return. He repeats this and walks away. I walk over to a boulder and carve a solid chair out of it with my hands and feet, when I finish I sit and contemplate on making a Harem.

 

[elder999]

elder999 goes to Wal-Mart, purchases insecticide, paint thinner,
anti-freeze, and Draino. Whips up noxious concoction that leaves the kid burned beyond recongnition, epileptic and impotent-so much for the harem. I take off my gas mask, chisel at the stone throne to make it my own, and sit down, monarch of the mountain....