Mom Barred From Park For Breast Feeding

[Tez3]

About getting questions from your kids... that happens. And then you have to explain it. It's how parenting works. First time my daughter saw a friend of ours nursing he infant, she said 'what on earth are you doing?' which is a fair enough question. So we explained how it worked, and made the comparison with a mother sheep and her ewe (is that the correct word?) and that was the end of it.

The mother sheep is the ewe, the 'baby' is a lamb.

MJS, I imagine the photo in the picture accompanying the article is probably more graphic than is usual when mothers breast feed, for journalistic purposes. I have seen many women breastfeed in public and have never seen more than would be seen anyway and in this country that's a lot! Our tabloid newspapers as many know are fond of the topless models, in fact being topless or nearly topless is quite common here.
I find men are the most anti to breast feeding never mind in public, sometimes it's as if they think breasts are their toys, purely for their pleasure and seeing them put to the use they were intended for makes them jealous! Not all men I hasten to add, the more neanderthal among us. Women breast feed and babies needs come first so if you see a woman breastfeeding live with it, look away if it upsets you but ask yourself why and answer honestly.

 

[Makalakumu]

Yeah - I don't know who the poor opressed mothers are, but the last story, a woman in a restaurant was asked to go to the restroom to feed her child. So....she is supposed to what, sit on the toilet? Stand in a corner?

I agree that there should be some discretion, but feeding your baby at a park is not a stretch at all. It is different if she is exposing herself or being blatant, but sorry, there is nothing wrong with feeding your kid.

At some point, people are going to have to get used to this. There is nothing obscene, inappropriate, or wrong with breastfeeding. It was done like that for thousands of years, technology creates an alternative and all the sudden, mothers have to go stand in a corner or put a blanket over their head so that no one feels uncomfortable?!?

What gets me is that the same people who scream about not having their rights taken away and complain and political correctness are the same ones who want to ban breastfeeding in public at all.

Sorry, but I deal with this a lot and it is getting ridiculous, medical study upon medical study proves that it is the most healthy way to raise a child. 44 of 50 states have LAWS stating specifically that you CANNOT prevent a mother from breastfeeding. Most of those states ALSO provide that a mother cannot be prosecuted for indecent exposure while feeding her child. I do take this one a bit personnally, because it is archaic to lump all breastfeeding mothers into a group and say that they should "have some class and discretion."

As far as I'm concerned, you don't like it, don't watch.

Bravo. As a husband who has supported his wife as she breastfed two children to 22 and 26 months, I had to deal with this exact issue numerous times. My wife was even shut down at work and she needed to remind her employer of her legal rights under the law. Keep up the good fight. It's worth it!

 

[MJS]

I'm assuming you've been in a park bathroom before? They stink, there's usually no AC, often cramped, and gods only know what people have left in there. All that's fine for a 2-minute bathroom stop, but feeding a kid in there? I'd much rather feed the kid on the park bench. At least there'd be a breeze.

I guess they all vary then, because what you're describing sounds more like a portapotty than anything else that I've seen. All of the park bathrooms that I've been in, while not 5,000sq ft., are not sardine cans either. Again, as I said, the mother is holding the child, not placing him/her down. Then again, we're harping on the bathroom arent we? I mean, it was mentioned and people are taking it to the bank. I'm sure we could all think of any number of places.

Of course, I'm sure you've also read my posts in which I said that I was not offended by someone breast feeding. Lets not take a few negative things that I've said and make me out to be some anti breast feeding person. I simply said that people should use some common sense. Of course, we all know thats lacking with some people in the world.

 

[MJS]

About getting questions from your kids... that happens. And then you have to explain it. It's how parenting works. First time my daughter saw a friend of ours nursing he infant, she said 'what on earth are you doing?' which is a fair enough question. So we explained how it worked, and made the comparison with a mother sheep and her ewe (is that the correct word?) and that was the end of it.

I agree, however, its a fact that there're some parents out there in the world, who, instead of teahcing their kids about life, try to shelter them. I mean, take sex for example. Instead of properly educating their kids on the 'birds and the bees' they shelter them, like some glass egg, thinking that their kids will never be exposed to such a 'horrible' thing. LOL! Come on now...we all know that you can't turn on the tv today, without seeing someone in bed, kissing, having sex, etc.

 

[MJS]

The mother sheep is the ewe, the 'baby' is a lamb.

MJS, I imagine the photo in the picture accompanying the article is probably more graphic than is usual when mothers breast feed, for journalistic purposes. I have seen many women breastfeed in public and have never seen more than would be seen anyway and in this country that's a lot! Our tabloid newspapers as many know are fond of the topless models, in fact being topless or nearly topless is quite common here.
I find men are the most anti to breast feeding never mind in public, sometimes it's as if they think breasts are their toys, purely for their pleasure and seeing them put to the use they were intended for makes them jealous! Not all men I hasten to add, the more neanderthal among us. Women breast feed and babies needs come first so if you see a woman breastfeeding live with it, look away if it upsets you but ask yourself why and answer honestly.

The photo that I mentioned today, does not seem to be on the papers site. Not sure if it will be or not. The only pic that we have to go on, is the one with the link that I provided. Anyways...I can't comment on whether or not it was intentionally more revealing or not. I guess only the woman and photographer could verify that.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Personally, I've yet to find a restroom I would want to dine in.

 

[Nomad]

It's a boob. Get over it. It's also the one time it's actually performing the function it was designed for... feeding a child.

Oh yeah, I forgot the disaster that occurred and obviously damaged millions of viewers during the infamous "Wardrobe Malfunction" a few years back. Likely this was the real cause of the financial meltdown that happened shortly thereafter...

This country is SOOOOOOOOOO uptight.

 

[Stac3y]

As I used to say, if anyone gave me the hairy eyeball while I was (discreetly) nursing my babies, "Well, excuse ME for being a MAMMAL!"

'Cos we ARE, y'know.

 

[MBuzzy]

Ok - people keep throwing around this "use discretion and common sense," well, I would challenge ANY of you to define that. I mean, let's make it explicit, exactly what are we dealing with here? My definition of discretion is obviously different from others. When my wife feeds, she doesn't cover up or use a blanket, but you CAN'T tell. Today she feed the baby while talking to someone and when she was done and I took him, they asked why I was taking him and we told him that she just fed the baby. He had no clue it was going on in front of him. When we visited my parents. My dad walked in to the living room and said "I thought you were going to feed the baby." to which my wife said "I am feeding him."

I would actually like a definitive list - in the minds of the people who are saying how important discretion is, WHERE can women feed and under what circumstances?

From reading this, from what I know, and from seeing countless mothers breastfeed, either you have all had experiences where you were flashed or it isn't about discretion and HOW it is done....it is just that you're uncomfortable with the idea, because I have NEVER seen a woman just flop her breast out and be blatant about showing skin.

 

[MBuzzy]

Ok, so I went to Epcot today with my family and some friends. My wife and her friend both breastfeed our kids. My son is 6 months and theirs is 5 months. My wife and our friend breastfed our babies in the Italian restaurant, on a ride (one of the boat rides for kids), and on a few benches outside.

For those who say that women should go to the restroom....this is a Disney park and there aren't like, benches or seats or couches in restrooms, so what is the intention? Go to the bathroom and stand in front of the sink? Oh, or maybe in a stall? Where exactly shall they do it? Walk around until they find a bathroom with a place to sit? Or just stand? How about the babies that take 20-30 mins to eat? I suppose standing and holding your baby in the restroom is perfectly fine? Sorry, just not an option; at least until restrooms or public places have standard locations equipped for breastfeeding...but then, why waste the money when the bench is just fine??

Last, in Epcot, I counted at least 12 women breastfeeding. All were discreet, in that you couldn't see anything other than the back of the baby's head, only 1 was using a cover (VERY young baby), and they were all in public. On benches, in the park, in restaurants...The point here is that it is getting more and more common. Those who are uncomfortable are really going to have to learn to deal with it. It isn't going away and chances are, you'll see more of it and women will feel more free to feed in public.

 

[Carol]

If you ever need proof of how we as a nation have an unhealthy obsession with food....look at how the outcry over mothers that breast feed in public completely dwarfs the outcry over mothers that sometimes substitute skim milk (alone) for infant formula so their kid doesn't grow up fat.

 

[crushing]

Last, in Epcot, I counted at least 12 women breastfeeding. All were discreet, in that you couldn't see anything other than the back of the baby's head, only 1 was using a cover (VERY young baby), and they were all in public. On benches, in the park, in restaurants...The point here is that it is getting more and more common. Those who are uncomfortable are really going to have to learn to deal with it. It isn't going away and chances are, you'll see more of it and women will feel more free to feed in public.

Hope your wandering eyes don't get you in too much trouble! I've found a pair of sunglasses helps.

 

[Makalakumu]

I was walking through the Mall of America a couple of days a go and there were breastfeeding women everywhere. Most people hardly even notice because the moms aren't taking off their shirts and flopping out boob. Did you know they have special clothing and bras that are made for breastfeeding? One snap and kid is on the teat before you even know it. If you don't know what to look for, you probably wouldn't see anything different them mom holding the baby close to her bosom.

Now, let's say we are at the beach or at the park and it's really hot and baby is cranky and needs food. Do you really want to be that asshat that complains because you saw a little flash of skin? Give me a break. Breastfeeding is a tough (and worthwhile job) and for crying out loud, our society needs to do everything it can to encourage healthy behavior.

If I witnessed this scene in the park, I'd tell the prudes to mind their own business and really think about what they are objecting to. Hopefully, they'd be drinking a soda or holding a McDonalds bag and I'd really let them have it.

 

[MBuzzy]

Nah, in a park that crowded, it is hard to avoid looking at people. Plus, to be quite honest, if I didn't have a wife and friends who breastfeed, I probably would not have known what they were doing. I think that a lot of people really think that when a woman is breastfeeding she wears a big neon sign. Most of them are so good at it that you can't tell.

 

[MBuzzy]

If I witnessed this scene in the park, I'd tell the prudes to mind their own business and really think about what they are objecting to. Hopefully, they'd be drinking a soda or holding a McDonalds bag and I'd really let them have it.

I think that my new attitude is that if people can complain about my wife breastfeeding, then I can complain about a 400 lb person eating fried chicken and ice cream because THAT disgusts me and makes me uncomfortable.

 

[Makalakumu]

I think that my new attitude is that if people can complain about my wife breastfeeding, then I can complain about a 400 lb person eating fried chicken and ice cream because THAT disgusts me and makes me uncomfortable.

Yeah, it's ironic and sad that people will complain about parents who give their children the absolute best food possible and then say nothing about shoving their kids full of poison at CrackDonalds. I figure that if people really want to make a scene about breastfeeding, it's okay to make an equally large scene about this irony.

Their high horse ain't got nothing on mine. LOL!

 

[Steve]

Ok - people keep throwing around this "use discretion and common sense," well, I would challenge ANY of you to define that. I mean, let's make it explicit, exactly what are we dealing with here? My definition of discretion is obviously different from others. When my wife feeds, she doesn't cover up or use a blanket, but you CAN'T tell. Today she feed the baby while talking to someone and when she was done and I took him, they asked why I was taking him and we told him that she just fed the baby. He had no clue it was going on in front of him. When we visited my parents. My dad walked in to the living room and said "I thought you were going to feed the baby." to which my wife said "I am feeding him."

I would actually like a definitive list - in the minds of the people who are saying how important discretion is, WHERE can women feed and under what circumstances?

From reading this, from what I know, and from seeing countless mothers breastfeed, either you have all had experiences where you were flashed or it isn't about discretion and HOW it is done....it is just that you're uncomfortable with the idea, because I have NEVER seen a woman just flop her breast out and be blatant about showing skin.

In general I agree with you that most women ARE discreet. I can tell you what I think of, and where a lot of my comments come from, is a situation where I was on a metro bus in Seattle. It was a while back... over a decade ago when I was in college. I was sitting at the back, chatting with a lady who had a toddler... 3 or 4 years old. Nothing weird at all until he decided he was hungry. While the mom kept talking, he literally pulled her shirt open (it was a loose shirt and he just pulled the neck down to expose her breast) and then pulled her boob out of her bra all the while telling her that he was hungry. She literally didn't miss a beat. She kept talking. After he exposed her breast, she scooped him up to eat.

THAT is what I would characterize as indiscreet (and creepy). The way I've seen most moms handle it, I have no problems.

 

[MJS]

Ok - people keep throwing around this "use discretion and common sense," well, I would challenge ANY of you to define that. I mean, let's make it explicit, exactly what are we dealing with here? My definition of discretion is obviously different from others. When my wife feeds, she doesn't cover up or use a blanket, but you CAN'T tell. Today she feed the baby while talking to someone and when she was done and I took him, they asked why I was taking him and we told him that she just fed the baby. He had no clue it was going on in front of him. When we visited my parents. My dad walked in to the living room and said "I thought you were going to feed the baby." to which my wife said "I am feeding him."

I would actually like a definitive list - in the minds of the people who are saying how important discretion is, WHERE can women feed and under what circumstances?

From reading this, from what I know, and from seeing countless mothers breastfeed, either you have all had experiences where you were flashed or it isn't about discretion and HOW it is done....it is just that you're uncomfortable with the idea, because I have NEVER seen a woman just flop her breast out and be blatant about showing skin.

Discreet:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discreet

You just said it about your wife, I believe Stac3y said it as well, in addition to myself. So you just said that your wife doesnt cover up, but nobody can tell shes feeding. THAT is discreet! Lets not turn this into some federal case here, as its really simple....if you can do something without drawing a ton of attention to yourself, that IMHO is being discreet.

Common Sense:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/common sense

Again, this isn't rocket science here. Solid, sound judgement.

Ex: Getting behind the wheel of a car, after you've had alot to drink: No common sense.

You've obviously had way too much to drink, so rather than drive yourself, you have someone drive you or you call a cab: Common Sense.

As I said, we're starting to make way too much of this. Its pretty clear cut if you ask me.

 

[Makalakumu]

In general I agree with you that most women ARE discreet. I can tell you what I think of, and where a lot of my comments come from, is a situation where I was on a metro bus in Seattle. It was a while back... over a decade ago when I was in college. I was sitting at the back, chatting with a lady who had a toddler... 3 or 4 years old. Nothing weird at all until he decided he was hungry. While the mom kept talking, he literally pulled her shirt open (it was a loose shirt and he just pulled the neck down to expose her breast) and then pulled her boob out of her bra all the while telling her that he was hungry. She literally didn't miss a beat. She kept talking. After he exposed her breast, she scooped him up to eat.

THAT is what I would characterize as indiscreet (and creepy). The way I've seen most moms handle it, I have no problems.

See, I'm way cool with that. I would rather the kid nurse on demand as long as he/she wishes rather then suck on a bottle of tooth decay. The longer a child nurses, the better, that's what study after study shows. How society chooses to react to it is something we need to address. Besides, extended nursing is quite common all across the world.

At any rate, I don't think moms even need to be "discreet" about it. The adults around need to change their attitudes because breastfeeding is literally one of the best things parents can do for their children. It's far more important then choosing to be offended by an occasional flash of boob.

Getting "creeped out" by it is a personal issue, there is nothing wrong with what the woman did. This is not the same as a woman flashing her boobs in public or any of the other things that people get upset about when it comes to nudity. I think that if moms nurse with confidence and convenience when their children need food, society will eventually grow up.

Three cheers for the moms who give their children the best and are willing to put aside silly societal mores in order to do so.

 

[Steve]

See, I'm way cool with that. I would rather the kid nurse on demand as long as he/she wishes rather then suck on a bottle of tooth decay. The longer a child nurses, the better, that's what study after study shows. How society chooses to react to it is something we need to address. Besides, extended nursing is quite common all across the world.

At any rate, I don't think moms even need to be "discreet" about it. The adults around need to change their attitudes because breastfeeding is literally one of the best things parents can do for their children. It's far more important then choosing to be offended by an occasional flash of boob.

Getting "creeped out" by it is a personal issue, there is nothing wrong with what the woman did. This is not the same as a woman flashing her boobs in public or any of the other things that people get upset about when it comes to nudity. I think that if moms nurse with confidence and convenience when their children need food, society will eventually grow up.

Three cheers for the moms who give their children the best and are willing to put aside silly societal mores in order to do so.

Okay. And all of this is your opinion. Seriously. Study after study also shows that after 12 months old, a child no longer needs the nutrition offered by formula or breast milk. At that point, it's no longer biological. It's psychological and emotional, which gets much, much more gray.

The situation I mentioned was, whatever else you might believe, indiscreet. MBuzzy asked for an example. I offered one and I think, whether you agree with her or not, you would agree that she was indiscreet. You don't seem to think she should have to be indiscreet, but that's beside the point.

This being Seattle, I'm sure that many people around here would applaud that woman. Personally, and I said it earlier in the thread, 2 year old kids should in most cases be drinking from a cup, and eating solid foods with a fork or spoon. I wouldn't call out parents who choose to do otherwise, but certainly by 3 or 4, we're bordering on a creepy kind of codependence. I stand by that statement, personal or not. I never intended it to be taken otherwise. At 3 or 4 years old, we're no longer talking about nursing a baby.