Mom Barred From Park For Breast Feeding

[MJS]

EAST HAMPTON — —
A day at the beach for a nursing mother and four children last Tuesday turned into a confrontation with the town's parks department, followed by one with the police department this week, the woman and her husband said Monday.

Officials for both departments said Monday that the incident, at Sears Park on Lake Pocotopaug, is being investigated.

Last Tuesday, Kendra Dickinson took the four children she was caring for — her daughters, Riley, 4, and Ella, 2, and their two friends — to the lake after a morning of picking fruit at an orchard, she said.

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So, who do you feel was in the wrong here?

 

[MBuzzy]

If this was in the US then the park was in the wrong. A breastfeeding mother is protected by law to breastfeed wherever she is authorized to be with the child.

 

[MBuzzy]

Plus, this is what....the 4th case of this THIS YEAR. Seriously, how dumb do you have to be at this point to try to remove someone from a public location. Unless there is a posted rule, which does not conflict with state or federal law...chances are, you and your organization are going to be in the national news and get some complaints.

My wife breastfeeds and while we've never been removed, we do have friends and acquaintances who make it very clear that they aren't comfortable with it. So.....what did the world do before Formula?

 

[Bill Mattocks]

If this was in the US then the park was in the wrong. A breastfeeding mother is protected by law to breastfeed wherever she is authorized to be with the child.

Not that I am aware of.

http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=14389

However, Connecticut, where she was located, apparently has a state law allowing it, which may well override any local law to the contrary:

Forty-four states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands have laws with language specifically allowing women to breastfeed in any public or private location (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming).

Personally, I don't care much either way; I'm not offended, but I don't much care to see it, either.

 

[MBuzzy]

Not that I am aware of.

http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=14389

However, Connecticut, where she was located, apparently has a state law allowing it, which may well override any local law to the contrary:

Not sure what you mean here, your statements are a bit contradictory. You said not that you're aware of, but posted the link showing that at least 44 states ALLOW you to breastfeed in any location that the mother and child are authorized to be. Connecticut is one of the states that ALLOWS you to breastfeed any where that the mother is allowed to be....so, that is a law - state law or federal law, still a law.

There are of course states WITHOUT breastfeeding laws at all. None prohibit it, some just don't have specific laws. Which means that it can end up in the court of the owner or administrator of the location. OR local government....but those people should be aware that law or no law, in today's climate, chances are, you'll end up on the news.

 

[Big Don]

Discretion is the keyword missed by these "poor oppressed mothers". My little sister is currently breast feeding, but, knows there is a time and a place for it. She doesn't yank off her shirt in a park or shopping mall to feed the baby. If these "poor oppressed mothers" had some class and discretion, there wouldn't be stories like this ever.

 

[crushing]

Discretion is the keyword missed by these "poor oppressed mothers". My little sister is currently breast feeding, but, knows there is a time and a place for it. She doesn't yank off her shirt in a park or shopping mall to feed the baby. If these "poor oppressed mothers" had some class and discretion, there wouldn't be stories like this ever.

:BSmeter:


Apparently, according to the park manager, the place to feed a baby is the toilet.

 

[MBuzzy]

Discretion is the keyword missed by these "poor oppressed mothers". My little sister is currently breast feeding, but, knows there is a time and a place for it. She doesn't yank off her shirt in a park or shopping mall to feed the baby. If these "poor oppressed mothers" had some class and discretion, there wouldn't be stories like this ever.

Yeah - I don't know who the poor opressed mothers are, but the last story, a woman in a restaurant was asked to go to the restroom to feed her child. So....she is supposed to what, sit on the toilet? Stand in a corner?

I agree that there should be some discretion, but feeding your baby at a park is not a stretch at all. It is different if she is exposing herself or being blatant, but sorry, there is nothing wrong with feeding your kid.

At some point, people are going to have to get used to this. There is nothing obscene, inappropriate, or wrong with breastfeeding. It was done like that for thousands of years, technology creates an alternative and all the sudden, mothers have to go stand in a corner or put a blanket over their head so that no one feels uncomfortable?!?

What gets me is that the same people who scream about not having their rights taken away and complain and political correctness are the same ones who want to ban breastfeeding in public at all.

Sorry, but I deal with this a lot and it is getting ridiculous, medical study upon medical study proves that it is the most healthy way to raise a child. 44 of 50 states have LAWS stating specifically that you CANNOT prevent a mother from breastfeeding. Most of those states ALSO provide that a mother cannot be prosecuted for indecent exposure while feeding her child. I do take this one a bit personnally, because it is archaic to lump all breastfeeding mothers into a group and say that they should "have some class and discretion."

As far as I'm concerned, you don't like it, don't watch.

 

[CoryKS]

I agree, moms should be barred from parks for breast feeding. That **** ain't right.

Wait, what? Oh, it was the kid who was breast feeding? Well, that's okay then.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Not sure what you mean here, your statements are a bit contradictory. You said not that you're aware of, but posted the link showing that at least 44 states ALLOW you to breastfeed in any location that the mother and child are authorized to be. Connecticut is one of the states that ALLOWS you to breastfeed any where that the mother is allowed to be....so, that is a law - state law or federal law, still a law.

There are of course states WITHOUT breastfeeding laws at all. None prohibit it, some just don't have specific laws. Which means that it can end up in the court of the owner or administrator of the location. OR local government....but those people should be aware that law or no law, in today's climate, chances are, you'll end up on the news.

You said that if the mother was in the US, then it was legal. This would imply a federal law, or a uniform network of identical state laws. I am not aware of any such federal law or blanket of identical state laws. So...

In any case, I just don't see it as a big deal. Public breastfeeding is like any other bodily function such as spitting or picking one's nose. Odious, but people do it. Life goes on.

 

[crushing]

In any case, I just don't see it as a big deal. Public breastfeeding is like any other bodily function such as spitting or picking one's nose. Odious, but people do it. Life goes on.

Maybe it's because of my own experiences in seeing my own children breastfeed and I've seen the closeness of mother and child while the mother continues to give and provide life through this nourishment. I've seen the mother fight through mastitis and illness and go through great difficulties to provide the child nourishment and a special bond and additional health benefits that come with breast milk. When I see a woman breastfeeding in public and think that is pretty cool because they are sharing that bond and benefits, and that the mother is willing to challenge some ridiculous concept of what decency is. But, I don't see breastfeeding as being at all similar to spitting or picking one's nose.

 

[Steve]

I don't have a problem with it as long as it's discreet.

That said, I think that when a baby is old enough to walk up and ask mama for her boob, he or she is old enough to drink from a cup. But that's just me. Two years old, and we're talking about a child that is walking, probably talking to some degree and drinking from sippy cups, eating pretty much what the rest of the family is eating and just doesn't need mama's milk for nutrition. There's no real physical need for it after the baby's first birthday.

Edit to add: I also don't see it as being gross or unseemly. I just see it as being a modesty thing, and like it or not, our country has some ideas about what's acceptable. Boobs in public (as much as I'd prefer otherwise) just isn't considered okay by most Americans. But it's not what I would characterize as a "bodily function such as spitting or picking one's nose."

 

[MBuzzy]

You said that if the mother was in the US, then it was legal. This would imply a federal law, or a uniform network of identical state laws. I am not aware of any such federal law or blanket of identical state laws. So...

In any case, I just don't see it as a big deal. Public breastfeeding is like any other bodily function such as spitting or picking one's nose. Odious, but people do it. Life goes on.

Got it! You're right, there is no federal law....well, kind of. There IS a federal law that says that if you are on Federal Property of any kind, women can breastfeed in any location that they are authorized to be.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

But, I don't see breastfeeding as being at all similar to spitting or picking one's nose.

Or farting, I forgot farting.

It's physically similar. It's a bodily function. Normal, natural, and if you see it as beautiful and wonderful, more power to you. I find it less offensive than the aforementioned, but it's on the same scale (for me). To each their own, eh? I don't want it to be banned, but I'm not especially thrilled to see it, either.

 

[Stac3y]

:BSmeter:


Apparently, according to the park manager, the place to feed a baby is the toilet.

Thanks for calling BS on Big Don's remark.

As for the park manager: I don't want to eat my lunch in a bathroom; babies shouldn't have to, either. Now, I'll admit that there are some women who do stupid stuff like leave their shirts open for their nipples to dry, but the vast majority of breastfeeding women feed their babies discreetly, showing much less skin than your average teenager. (NOt to mention the fact that people don't get upset about bare-chested men in public.) There's nothing disgusting, sexual, or prurient about nursing a child--if you think there is, the problem lies in your own psyche.

I was very discreet (nobody ever saw anything but the back of my babies' heads when I nursed in public), and I nursed my oldest for 13 months and my youngest for 3 and a half years. Infants need to eat when they need to eat--not at pre-set times. The only way to avoid breastfeeding in public is to sequester mother and child for a year or more. The the physical and psychological health benefits of breastfeeding are way more important than somebody accidentally getting an eyeful, anyway. /soapbox

 

[Bill Mattocks]

But it's not what I would characterize as a "bodily function such as spitting or picking one's nose."

In what way is it different? It is a bodily function, agreed? And it is an excretion.

Most of our excretory functions are performed in private. Breathing and sweating are examples of excretory functions that we perform everywhere, but they are involuntary. The rest we either perform in private or we generally wish people would.

When I was stationed in Okinawa, there were still villages with benjo ditches. Public urination wasn't considered a private function. Doesn't mean it was extra special nifty and cool, it just meant that their standards were a little different than ours.

I'm not squicked by breastfeeding in public, but I don't think it's something wonderful and lovely, either. I don't run screaming out of the building if someone farts in a conference room. We live with it; doesn't mean it's super great.

 

[RandomPhantom700]

Discretion is the keyword missed by these "poor oppressed mothers". My little sister is currently breast feeding, but, knows there is a time and a place for it. She doesn't yank off her shirt in a park or shopping mall to feed the baby. If these "poor oppressed mothers" had some class and discretion, there wouldn't be stories like this ever.

Yank off her shirt? Exagerating a bit? I've only known a couple mothers to breastfeed, never did I see them pull off clothes to do it (much to my personal disappointment with one of said mothers). The baby's usually just tucked into her shirt; very little's actually visible.

But it is interesting that you make personal attacks against the mothers for choosing to breastfeed. I see no lack of discretion involved; if a mother's chosen to breastfeed rather than use formula, they only have so much control over when the baby gets hungry. Unless you think they should just stay home and wait on Father to win the bread, like good little housewives. Then it's not an issue of propriety, but the mothers daring to be with their children in public.

The mother was confronted by the Parks Department and then the Police Department (although I can't really say I blame the PD, who were likely just responding to a call) for something that's protected by 44 out of 50 states! They have a legitimate complaint, and I'm sorry you fail to see it that way.

 

[RandomPhantom700]

So, why wasn't this thread titled "Mom Barred for Baring"? :boing1:

 

[Steve]

In what way is it different? It is a bodily function, agreed? And it is an excretion.

You're intentionally baiting the subject and trying to stir the pot. As you've made perfectly clear, we're all entitled to our opinions, but at this point, bringing it up in multiple posts on this thread, it's pretty clear you're trolling for an argument. It's telling that you compare it to picking one's nose, rather than blowing one's nose. One can be done politely and isn't a big deal to most people. The other is almost universally considered pretty gross. It's clear you went out of your way to shake things up.

Where you see an excretion, I personally see it as having more to do with eating publicly than farting. If you think it's distasteful, that's fine. You've made that very clear. I don't find it so. Others clearly don't, either.

Again, personally, the only thing that raised an eyebrow for me was the age of the baby. I think that, in general, babies are a little old for formula or nursing when they can ask to be fed in complete sentences.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

You're intentionally baiting the subject and trying to stir the pot.

I didn't think I was. I thought I was pointing out an internal inconsistency. Hmmm, something about not being able to use each other's yardsticks that I mentioned in another thread - I should take my own advice. Bowing out now.