P
pknox
Guest
Originally posted by Master of Blades
It is actually a very sunny beautiful day. Im pretty impressed
Cherish it while you can! Did it finally cool down after that crazy summer?
Martial Art Urban Legends...
- Thread starter Jay Bell
- Start date
Cherish it while you can! Did it finally cool down after that crazy summer?
here's one... those who study higher levels of ninjitsu can disappear in a cloud of smoke and reappear right behind their attacker and stick their hands into someone's chest and rip out their rib-cage... pretty cool huh? guess that's why they wear black so the blood stains won't be tooo obvious.
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I can do that. :shrug:
Originally posted by pknox
Wow. I've never seen "England" and "sunny" in the same sentence before, at least not without the word "not" betwixt them.
On the upside, Dave, I must say the chocolate you have over the pond is far superior to what we have here. Somehow the Cadbury people lose something in the translation when they make stuff here in America. When she returned from Ireland, my wife brought me a few cases of the Yorkie biscuits, and Cadbury drinking chocolate. Like liquid gold, I tell ya. Between that and the Guinness, I guess the rain's not so bad, eh?
Hey, I'm not a Pom! I'm an Aussie!
Geez, are you trying to start an international incedent?
--Dave
satans.barber
Master Black Belt
Yes, thankfully! It was getting hard to work!
Ian.
J
J-kid
Guest
1 hit kills
No touch knockouts or moving someone with out touching them.
Licnessed black belts with the police department because you are a leathal weapon.
No touch knockouts or moving someone with out touching them.
Licnessed black belts with the police department because you are a leathal weapon.
high kicks work in street and bar fights.
takeing someone to the ground in a bar fight is a good idea
your not going to get cut practiceing knife techniques
"This won't hurt at all" and "I'll use control":rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
takeing someone to the ground in a bar fight is a good idea
your not going to get cut practiceing knife techniques
"This won't hurt at all" and "I'll use control":rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
K
Kroy
Guest
I used to hear about some Kung Fu stylist could retract their testicles up inside for protection.:btg: Not that I ever believed it.
Originally posted by Kroy
I used to hear about some Kung Fu stylist could retract their testicles up inside for protection.:btg: Not that I ever believed it.
This one's possible, but not healthy. It is possible to get your nootz to wedge into your abdomin, but they aren't really ment to go there anymore. The area where they can be put into is where they were when they were being formed in the fetal and infant stages of human development. They naturally drop in childhood to stop damage to sperm production and tissue from bodyheat. If you grapple without a cup sometimes they can get wedged back to where they don't belong and you may have to pop them back out by pushing down and in on your abdomin. So this on is kind of possible, but I pesonally don't think it would feel any better because a good amount of the pain felt from a groin hit is because of impact to the nerves and muscles in the grion, the other half of the hurt comes from trauma to the nads themselves.
P.S. Don't try this at home as it is possible to get them stuck up there and they won't come down without surgury.
P.P.S. Has anyone ever heard about the soccer player that dislocated his hip and they tried to put it back in socket at the field. They didn't scoop the boys out of the way first and one snuck in to the socket before they jammed his legbone back into the hip socket. Mashed raisin anyone? (I think this one is true, but can't confirm it. Either way this is the urban myths section right.)
satans.barber
Master Black Belt
Yes, I have, although I'd managed to block it out of my memory until abuot 20 seconds ago! hehe
Ouch
Ian.
Cruentus
Grandmaster
Originally posted by D.Cobb
Hello Paul, long time no type
How is every little thing?
--Dave
:asian:
No complaints...yet!
K
Kroy
Guest
I can do it as well but only after I get out of the pool (shrinkage)
R
rmcrobertson
Guest
1. You need to carry a gun because crime is everywhere, these days.
2. You'll be safer carrying a gun than you'll be without one.
3. All that guff about Bodhidharma, which apparently comes from 19th century novels.
4. Shaolin was full of peaceful priests, who worshipped peace and never, never fought without reason.
5. Back in the good old days, there were no arguments in the martial arts.
6. If you train right, you'll become invulnerable.
7. If you train right, an amateur with a knife cannot hurt you, and you will never, ever get cut.
8. Bruce Lee was the best martial artist who ever lived.
9. Traditional arts cannot work.
10. Contemporary arts have no philosophy, and are morally inferior to traditional arts.
11. There are no strikes in aikido.
12. T'ai chi has nothing to do with fighting--it's too spiritual for that.
13. You can beat eleven guys at once, "on the street."
14. David Carradine is a martial arts master.
15. Only size and aggresivity count.
16. Size and aggressivity don't count.
17. Kata are useless to the REAL fighter.
18. Kata are all that a martial artist needs.
19. Jeet kune do is a martial arts system.
20. Tae-bo teaches you to defend yourself.
21. Count Dante was a great martial artist. So was that Van Damme guy, Lee van Cleef, and the rest.
22. Only men can REALLY do martial arts, so only men should study (yes, I've really been told this by a martial artist).
23. Women should be taught different techniques, because they're just girls (yes, I've actually gone to an exhibition in which women had been taught women's techniques only, as far as I could tell).
24. Kids can't be real martial artists, and can't "really," deserve their ranks.
25. Kids don't need to be taught that if they have to physically confront an adult, their training should aim them towards getting loose, running, and screaming for help (yes, I actually saw an exhibition in which two young girls "took out," two grown men, then flounced back close and grabbed their book-bags away before turning their backs and sauntering slowly away).
26. All martial arts systems are created equal.
27. A really good fighter cannot kick your *** if your system is superior.
28. The best sparrer is the best martial artist.
29. Jackie Chan cannot really fight, because he only studied Chinese opera.
30. If you study hard and long, you too can learn to fly, dematerialize, hold a spear back with your throat, read minds...and become a superior being.
That should do it.
2. You'll be safer carrying a gun than you'll be without one.
3. All that guff about Bodhidharma, which apparently comes from 19th century novels.
4. Shaolin was full of peaceful priests, who worshipped peace and never, never fought without reason.
5. Back in the good old days, there were no arguments in the martial arts.
6. If you train right, you'll become invulnerable.
7. If you train right, an amateur with a knife cannot hurt you, and you will never, ever get cut.
8. Bruce Lee was the best martial artist who ever lived.
9. Traditional arts cannot work.
10. Contemporary arts have no philosophy, and are morally inferior to traditional arts.
11. There are no strikes in aikido.
12. T'ai chi has nothing to do with fighting--it's too spiritual for that.
13. You can beat eleven guys at once, "on the street."
14. David Carradine is a martial arts master.
15. Only size and aggresivity count.
16. Size and aggressivity don't count.
17. Kata are useless to the REAL fighter.
18. Kata are all that a martial artist needs.
19. Jeet kune do is a martial arts system.
20. Tae-bo teaches you to defend yourself.
21. Count Dante was a great martial artist. So was that Van Damme guy, Lee van Cleef, and the rest.
22. Only men can REALLY do martial arts, so only men should study (yes, I've really been told this by a martial artist).
23. Women should be taught different techniques, because they're just girls (yes, I've actually gone to an exhibition in which women had been taught women's techniques only, as far as I could tell).
24. Kids can't be real martial artists, and can't "really," deserve their ranks.
25. Kids don't need to be taught that if they have to physically confront an adult, their training should aim them towards getting loose, running, and screaming for help (yes, I actually saw an exhibition in which two young girls "took out," two grown men, then flounced back close and grabbed their book-bags away before turning their backs and sauntering slowly away).
26. All martial arts systems are created equal.
27. A really good fighter cannot kick your *** if your system is superior.
28. The best sparrer is the best martial artist.
29. Jackie Chan cannot really fight, because he only studied Chinese opera.
30. If you study hard and long, you too can learn to fly, dematerialize, hold a spear back with your throat, read minds...and become a superior being.
That should do it.
Cruentus
Grandmaster
nice list!
Someone should tell that to my sensei....oweee!
We all know size doesn't matter
kenpo_cory
Purple Belt
I saw a special on tv about him. It is true that while he was in "kung fu" the series he did not know martial arts, but ever since the show went off the air he has been studing kung fu. Which I believe was sometime in the 70's.
Cruentus
Grandmaster
I also won't buy that anyone in Hollywood knows anything unless it is proven somehow to me. They all say this or that, but I say Bull****! I don't buy a celebrety black belt based on what they say alone. But, hey, I don't buy anyone for what they say alone anyways, so I guess that's just me!
Maybe we can add this one to the list:
"Celeberty so-and-so is an expert in ______ martial art!"
R
rmcrobertson
Guest
Oh, carry me home to die, Mother.
Carradine a "martial arts master?" The guy whose lame-o book I've flipped through? Who couldn't even throw a convincing side-kick on TV? Who got busted at least twice zooming around in a Ferrari, coked to the proverbial gills?
I guess redemption is always possible...but a master? Cmahn.
Next, you'll be telling me that Jan-Michael Vincent really has Airwolf hidden out behind whatever hovel he presently occupies...
My motto is this: never believe any movie start who tells you he's a master; run screaming from any martial artist who starts telling you about their time in Special Forces/the CIA.
P.S. I was watching an "Angel," rerun last night...as proof that demonic intervention must be real, they mentioned Steven Seagal's movie career...
PPS: Oh...my other nomination for an entertaining myth--Richard Marcenko.
Carradine a "martial arts master?" The guy whose lame-o book I've flipped through? Who couldn't even throw a convincing side-kick on TV? Who got busted at least twice zooming around in a Ferrari, coked to the proverbial gills?
I guess redemption is always possible...but a master? Cmahn.
Next, you'll be telling me that Jan-Michael Vincent really has Airwolf hidden out behind whatever hovel he presently occupies...
My motto is this: never believe any movie start who tells you he's a master; run screaming from any martial artist who starts telling you about their time in Special Forces/the CIA.
P.S. I was watching an "Angel," rerun last night...as proof that demonic intervention must be real, they mentioned Steven Seagal's movie career...
PPS: Oh...my other nomination for an entertaining myth--Richard Marcenko.
