Make self-defense for girls mandatory!!

[mj-hi-yah]

I’ve been following this thread for awhile, and I understand a lot of the thinking, especially in terms of personal commitment to learning anything. I have to say that I like the idea of making self defense classes a natural part of a health/physical education in schools. I think it could be part of an overall unit on bullying and personal safety. I think awareness training would benefit boys as well as girls, but there is a lot of violence against woman in this world and I think there are some basic things that young girls should learn additionally in terms of how men attack woman differently, including date rape and other rape scenarios, and as they get closer to going away to college, campus safety should be covered for both sexes. Some who commit to learning it will certainly get more out of it, but by making it a part of the curriculum a strong message goes out that tells young people that they have a right to defend themselves, and that it is important and worthy of school budget monies. Thinking back to my high school years I had to participate in lots of things I didn’t necessarily consider important to me personally. I don’t remember being given a choice as to whether or not I wanted to play lacrosse (and get all bruised by having that hard ball winged at me), or learn geometry, which I hated and always challenged with, “When the heck will I ever use this?”, or typing which I stunk at, and used to sweat my way through the timed typing tests. The interesting thing is though that all these years later I remember how to cradle the lacrosse ball and when my kids needed help as they joined a lacrosse league I was able to guide them, as well I have found many uses for geometry in my martial arts, and I now spend a ton of time typing on this keyboard…who knew? What I’m trying to say is that sometimes we don’t recognize a good thing when we are forced to partake in it, and to me the benefits of even some exposure to self defense classes for young people may not be appreciated until god forbid it is called upon, and in the event that it is, they may be thankful for having had the opportunity as I am about lacrosse, geometry and typing. :asian:

 

[FearlessFreep]

I will say that as a parent to 2 daughters and 4 sons...self defense courses in my house are mandatory My 11 yo daughter has already been told that she's free to use whatever she needs to and has been trained in to avoid being touched in ways she is not comfortable with

 

[mj-hi-yah]

I will say that as a parent to 2 daughters and 4 sons...self defense courses in my house are mandatory My 11 yo daughter has already been told that she's free to use whatever she needs to and has been trained in to avoid being touched in ways she is not comfortable with

Wow ~ that's a lot of kids today! Good for you for empowering them! I have to worry more that my 8 year old daughter will hurt my 10 year old son with the things they learn from us in terms of self defense. He's a very good boy, and perhaps she has become overempowered. Now I have to work on that... :rofl:

 

[Brother John]

My wife and I were discussing at what point we'd allow our daughter (who's only 4 years old yet) to begin dating. I told her "I don't care what age she is, so long as she's got her Black Belt first!" She smiled and said that was a good idea. Then she said: "Wait, what about that requirement that says she must be 18 to get a Black Belt?"

I just smiled.


Your Brother
John

 

[Gin-Gin]

I have to say that I like the idea of making self defense classes a natural part of a health/physical education in schools. I think it could be part of an overall unit on bullying and personal safety. I think awareness training would benefit boys as well as girls, but there is a lot of violence against woman in this world and I think there are some basic things that young girls should learn additionally in terms of how men attack woman differently, including date rape and other rape scenarios, and as they get closer to going away to college, campus safety should be covered for both sexes. Some who commit to learning it will certainly get more out of it, but by making it a part of the curriculum a strong message goes out that tells young people that they have a right to defend themselves, and that it is important and worthy of school budget monies.

I agree with sgtmac, MACaver & others that forcing someone to take MA or SD would not work; however, I think that it should be offered in schools as an elective that could be used to fulfill (if not all, at least part of) the Health/PE requirements. Also, MJ's idea of having it as part of an overall course on bullying & personal safety (for both sexes) is great! :supcool: But I think it should start before High School, probably Middle School/Jr. High, maybe even Elementary school (just basic escapes for those under 12, like TigerWoman said--plus, that's when the bullying started when I was a kid--in Elementary School).

Sadly, most women (at least in the US) are not conditioned to "fight back," especially when I was in school in the 70s & 80s. Having been a victim of violent crime, I wish there had been a course like that offered at any of the schools I attended, but there wasn't--not even in college. And, unfortunately, most of the people I've met who have "the mindset" are those like myself who have already been attacked. IMHO, if we want fewer kids/teenagers attacked, we have got to incorporate personal safety education into our culture. Here in Austin (at least at one time) the school district had approved martial arts as an off-campus, athletic training program to substitute for an on-campus PE class & one local MA school participated (students had to fill out a waiver form in order to participate). Will have to check with that instructor & see if that is still the case...

So although I understand where Loki is coming from about wanting to make MA/SD for women & girls mandatory, I think it should definitely be made more available for both sexes to participate in if they choose.

:asian:

 

[Fightback2]

I whole-heartedly agree that we should teach self-defense to kids, especially girls; starting out at the Jr. High level. The girls, as many have stated here, have to want to learn it.

The schools, also, have to want the kids to learn it. I suggested that we come in and do a seminar (at no cost to the schools) on awareness and personal safety. I was met by a huge nest of red tape. The overall impression that I got from the school boards in our area was that we were "promoting violence". Trying to convince them that we were trying to avoid/stop violence got us absolutely nowhere.

I'm amazed at how many people still have their heads in the sand about this issue. There was one dad who will stick in my mind forever. When we suggested a self-defense course for his teenage daughter he had a fit. Told me: "My daughter doesn't need self-defense! She's a good girl!" Didn't know whether to laugh or cry or smack the guy upside his thick head.

If anyone has suggestions on how to win over principals and school boards I'm ALL ears.

 

[mj-hi-yah]

There was one dad who will stick in my mind forever. When we suggested a self-defense course for his teenage daughter he had a fit. Told me: "My daughter doesn't need self-defense! She's a good girl!" Didn't know whether to laugh or cry or smack the guy upside his thick head.

If anyone has suggestions on how to win over principals and school boards I'm ALL ears.

I'm sorry you were met with such resistance. There could be many reasons for that, but too much to speculate on here. I think some of it may have to do with semantics. Martial Arts vs. How Children Can Avoid Being the Victim of Bullying, Awareness vs. Teaching Children About Stranger Danger. The bullying angle is a great place to start, because most everyone can understand and relate to that in their own schooling and appreciate the need to have children feel safe and comfortable both in school and on their buses amongst peers. Stranger Danger programs also go over well in terms of teaching awareness, because people can relate to that as well. Try to put together a program for one or both of those areas, which also addresses issues of self worth and self esteem. Most PTAs/School Boards can appreciate those themes especially considering the resistance you encountered suggesting that the attitude is that MA = Violence. Start with small steps, and offer to let the School Board and or PTA preview your program and offer suggestions before you begin.

 

[47MartialMan]

Try to put together a program for one or both of those areas, which also addresses issues of self worth and self esteem. Most PTAs/School Boards can appreciate those themes especially considering the resistance you encountered suggesting that the attitude is that MA = Violence. Start with small steps, and offer to let the School Board and or PTA preview your program and offer suggestions before you begin.

Nice, how would you go about meeting and convincing?

 

[mj-hi-yah]

Nice, how owuld you go about meeting and convincing?

Well in this area of the US many Parent Teacher Associations have funds for Cultural Arts Programs. I'd investigate that angle first. Charging a small something is ok to do, and maybe even legitimizes it a bit psychologically. I'd also request a meeting with building principals to be given a chance to preview the presentation. If need be, as a last resort the School Board. Private schools are another area to tap into and may be a good place to start and then you can build a resume of places you've been to who can give feedback, hopefully in your favor.

 

[47MartialMan]

Well in this area of the US many Parent Teacher Associations have funds for Cultural Arts Programs. I'd investigate that angle first. Charging a small something is ok to do, and maybe even legitimizes it a bit psychologically. I'd also request a meeting with building principals to be given a chance to preview the presentation. If need be, as a last resort the School Board. Private schools are another area to tap into and may be a good place to start and then you can build a resume of places you've been to who can give feedback, hopefully in your favor.

Nice tip.

Would you go about v reating a letter/write-up of your proposal?

 

[mj-hi-yah]

Nice tip.

Would you go about v reating a letter/write-up of your proposal?

I think networking is the best way to get started. Most times either your children are in a school and you can approach that principal, or if you do not have children, than try and find a neighbor or friend who can open a door for you. Otherwise a written proposal is a good idea, but flyers and pictures and other informational handouts that will catch the attention of an often very busy building principal might be the way to go. If you go the PTA route, place a call to the school to find out who is in charge of spending the money and address it to the person with that title such as, Attention: Cultural Arts Committee Chair Person.

 

[arnisador]

Self-defense classes are mandatory for my kids too. But for everyone--I don't know.

You could also make a case for First Aid/CPR for everyone, and other things...a line has to be drawn somewhere.

 

[47MartialMan]

Mandatory or not, the need had to be realised first.

 

[goshawk]

Hmmm. This is definitely an important issue, and I have to say I sympathize with a lot of the frustration I'm hearing about some women not having the mindset to dig in and make themselves prey too expensive for the human predators to bother with. However, I must emphatically disagree with those of you saying that mandatory self-defence courses/lectures/seminars are a bad idea.

I was raised by a father who from day one told me the first thing I should do was scream my head off, and that while I was doing that I should be kicking, hitting, biting, clawing, pinching, and generally acting like a lunatic. Essentially, I grew up believing that anyone who touched me with malicious intent deserved to get torn up. Later, I took that to martial arts on my own, and felt at home.

Most don't have the benefit of that early training. That doesn't necessarily mean that some of the same women I see every day (shuffling around downtown in stiletto flip-flops and mini-skirts with their heads halfway down their purses at 2300h) are devoid of the will to claw their way out of an attack kicking and screaming. What it means is that for most girls, the idea that they are allowed to be so crazy--that in fact they should cause irreparable damage to their attackers--isn't something they've ever thought about.

I do agree with most of you that forcing every girl through martial arts classes day-in, day-out without their having chosen to be there would be an exercise in futility. There is, however, an alternative. I went to a private school for four years that did establish a mandatory two-month, twice-weekly self-defence class for all the females in the school, taught by a local woman who'd been to hell and back and since achieved some mastery in t'ai chi and a couple other martial arts (a truly amazing woman, I wish I knew more about her). Instead of blocks and strikes, it emphasized situational awareness, assertive behaviour, and the ability to look a strange male in the eyes and tell him to back off in a commanding tone of voice. It covered prevention, body-language, survival strategies if the attack or rape proved impossible to escape, and the concept of recovery afterwards.

At the time, I was shocked at how timid and...well...prey-like a lot of the girls around me behaved. Now I realize it's the norm--but by the end of the course, some of these same girls walked down the street with their heads up. Sure, it had a lasting effect on only 30% of the fifty-odd girls there. But that's still fifteen girls walking around with a better chance of survival. To my mind, that alone is enough to justify implementing such a program.

And hell, by all means, have a similar course for the boys--focus it on guys' problems. Ways to avoid brawls, the ability to back down from a confrontation, body-language, assertive vs. aggressive behaviour...there is, I'm sure, a lot to be gained by both sexes here.

Well. There's my two cents (or maybe fifty...)

 

[mj-hi-yah]

I do agree with most of you that forcing every girl through martial arts classes day-in, day-out without their having chosen to be there would be an exercise in futility. There is, however, an alternative. I went to a private school for four years that did establish a mandatory two-month, twice-weekly self-defence class for all the females in the school, taught by a local woman who'd been to hell and back and since achieved some mastery in t'ai chi and a couple other martial arts (a truly amazing woman, I wish I knew more about her). Instead of blocks and strikes, it emphasized situational awareness, assertive behaviour, and the ability to look a strange male in the eyes and tell him to back off in a commanding tone of voice. It covered prevention, body-language, survival strategies if the attack or rape proved impossible to escape, and the concept of recovery afterwards.

This is similar to what I had in mind. I think it's great, and perfect for High School, and it could work as a unit contained in an overall part of a Phys. Ed./Health program, just like I had to take that unit on lacrosse. I agree with Gin-Gin too that personal safety, awareness training and issues concerning bullying should start in the early grades, and to me there are age appropriate things, especially surrounding personal safety and abduction (stranger danger), that can be taught to children of both sexes as early as Nursery School.

 

[Fightback2]

"Stranger Danger" - definitely something that needs to be taught. Let's also remember that most assaults on children and women come from people that they know and often trust. Things can get sticky here.

It's often difficult to get someone to understand that they have a right to fight back with a vengeance against someone that they thought was their friend. The difference between bad touching/good touching can be difficult to teach even for an experienced instructor.

It's also hard to get across to teenage girls that they don't have to "put out" to fit in. Peer pressure is a tough to deal with. Standing up to it is something else that could be woven into a seminar or class on personal safety.

Although it can be a fine line to walk - where does the safety/awareness/self-defense issues end and moral issues begin? There has to be a way to blend them together seamlessly without the students feeling like they're being lectured. If a program is to succeed it has to be enjoyable for the student as well as informative.

 

[mj-hi-yah]

"Stranger Danger" - definitely something that needs to be taught. Let's also remember that most assaults on children and women come from people that they know and often trust. Things can get sticky here.

Yes, this is an important point - a stranger is not always a person who will harm you and a person you know sometimes very well, as in relative/neighbor/family friend might harm you. The idea you need to get across is that if someone does something that makes you feel uncomfortable or hurts you, you need to tell someone, and that someone you tell should be a person you are comfortable with. That person you "trust" with your story can be a parent or teacher or another relative. This is a person who has proven to you that they are a "trusted" adult.

It's often difficult to get someone to understand that they have a right to fight back with a vengeance against someone that they thought was their friend. The difference between bad touching/good touching can be difficult to teach even for an experienced instructor.

Yes it can be difficult to explain, but it is best to keep it simple.

Although it can be a fine line to walk - where does the safety/awareness/self-defense issues end and moral issues begin? There has to be a way to blend them together seamlessly without the students feeling like they're being lectured. If a program is to succeed it has to be enjoyable for the student as well as informative.

The best way to handle some of this is through an interdisciplinary approach. Some of this subject matter can be addressed in terms of citizenship, which is an accepted part of many Social Studies curriculums. Some of this is taking place already in public schools. For instance my eight year old is learning all about acceptance, empathy, honesty, fairness, sharing and respect, and this learning takes place throughout the school year. I think any program that sticks to issues that emphasize basic good citizenship, and avoids moral issues such as, abortion in terms of rape for instance, should be fine.

 

[goshawk]

This is similar to what I had in mind. I think it's great, and perfect for High School, and it could work as a unit contained in an overall part of a Phys. Ed./Health program

Yep, one unit every year for, say, grades ten through twelve? In BC they're even making PE mandatory through to graduation again, so that'd work out perfectly. I wonder who to write to about this...time for some homework. =P

 

[47MartialMan]

In todays society, this kind of "extra knowldege" is most beneficial. It would seem illogical not to have this already implemented.

 

[Loki]

Can anyone suggest any good books dealing with situtational awareness, rape prevention etc.?

Plus, for those of you who read it, how is de Becker's "Gift of Fear"?

~ Loki

PS Thanks for all the responses to the thread.