I've decided to develop my own satirical martial art.

[RTKDCMB]

Here are some examples of real street altercations.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QfVQaeWM6Tk

Now you will notice the the one common flaw is that they were there at all. It is a foolish mistake brought about by training.

I doubt that anybody in that video has trained in much of anything... except being an idiot.

 

[Transk53]

I have just realised my fundamental flaw in training. That I am training.

The best way to win a fight is to not be there. Avoiding a conflict is more effective and powerful that any method of engaging in one.

The only way to be properly prepared is to actively train in this very devastating technique. And the best way to train is to avoid training.

I tried this the other day by avoiding getting mugged. And it has successfully worked. I defended my self from literally hundreds of attacks that did not happen.

I found experts in martial arts and did not fight them.

Let me just say that again. My system defended themselves against martial arts experts.

A list of some of the names I have avoided.

Chuck Norris.
Anderson Silva.
The entire seal team 6.

This method has avoided real life street encounters and avoided proffessiional fighters.

This is the only realistic method of self defence because avoiding training is the same as avoiding a real fight.

That's right I avoid real fights not just avoiding dojo dancing with pads.

Here are some examples of real street altercations.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QfVQaeWM6Tk

Now you will notice the the one common flaw is that they were there at all. It is a foolish mistake brought about by training.

Here is someone who has trained avoiding training.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o-50GjySwew

Notice how effectively she has avoided being defeated in a fight.

That's right my system is not reliant on strength or size and is perfectly suited to men and women.

If you are still not convinced I have the avoidance challenge. I will not fight you. That's right any person who thinks the want to test my system is welcome to try. Pick a time and a place. Pick a weapon and start without me.

Because I am trained not to be there.

Brilliant

 

[Zero]

Drop Bear, this is great. And even more funny, if you package this right, I think you could probably make a buck selling your system and "defence/avoidance" seminars and DVDs to people.

 

[RTKDCMB]

Drop Bear, this is great. And even more funny, if you package this right, I think you could probably make a buck selling your system and "defence/avoidance" seminars and DVDs to people.

But then they would just avoid watching them.

 

[Big Don]

I also created Aishu-Tibeta specifically for the folks who like throwing a little lead downrange. Your gun might be biggest than mine, but I'll always make the center shots because Aishu-Tibeta.

John Browning invented Ching Ching Pow in 1911...

 

[Marnetmar]

New update. Alfre-Do is now a Chinese art and I am officially developing the first form, Bak Hok Bei Lung Hou Bou Caau, or White Crane Giving Dragon Blowjob.

Sincerely,

Unachievable 69th degree diamond belt Eternal Enlightened Badass(TM) Handsome Grandmaster of Grandmasters(TM) of Alfre-Do(TM)(TM) Marnetmar

 

[RTKDCMB]

Drop Bear, this is great. And even more funny, if you package this right, I think you could probably make a buck selling your system and "defence/avoidance" seminars and DVDs to people.

Nah, people would just avoid paying for it.

 

[Buka]

Generalneon - run with it, brother. If it was good enough for Fred Villari it's good enough for anyone. He made jillions!