Is there something wrong with me?

[skribs]

I have already explained thoroughly why I don't trust those people. The thought that the only person who will sit and talk with me is someone paid to do it is not really pleasant and I don't intend to waste another fortune to hear predictable stuff like the previous time I attended a professional.

To quote Heath Ledger's joker: if you're good at something, never do it for free. These people had to get their degree in psychology (8+ years of schooling), and go through additional training and certifications afterwards in order to be qualified to help you. They had to give up probably 10+ years of their life and hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to learn how to help people.

I don't think its selfish of them to then ask for payment in order to not only repay that time and money, but also the time it takes for them to use those skills to help you.

You'd pay someone if they mowed your lawn, cleaned your house, healed your physical sickness, or served you food in a restaraunt. They're only there to make money as well.

 

[_Simon_]

Yup.

Well I can tell you that it's not true at all.

I don't dislike you at all. I don't find you 'unlikeable'. I've actually found some topics you've brought up quite interesting. So that's just COMPLETELY shattered that whole belief. Just for a moment consider it.. reflect on it. This isn't about how others perceive you, but how you perceive yourself.

I have already explained thoroughly why I don't trust those people. The thought that the only person who will sit and talk with me is someone paid to do it is not really pleasant and I don't intend to waste another fortune to hear predictable stuff like the previous time I attended a professional.

I understand that. Often times you have to find a therapist that you really click with. I've had quite a few, and some I just didn't gel with. It doesn't mean all therapists are a waste of time. I've found some extraordinary human beings that are the brimming with love and warmth. It is so not a waste of time.

Your own limit is your own beliefs man.

 

[amateur]

To quote Heath Ledger's joker: if you're good at something, never do it for free. These people had to get their degree in psychology (8+ years of schooling), and go through additional training and certifications afterwards in order to be qualified to help you. They had to give up probably 10+ years of their life and hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to learn how to help people.

I don't think its selfish of them to then ask for payment in order to not only repay that time and money, but also the time it takes for them to use those skills to help you.

You'd pay someone if they mowed your lawn, cleaned your house, healed your physical sickness, or served you food in a restaraunt. They're only there to make money as well.

Degree for what? For telling you the same stuff as everybody else? ('It is up to you to find the willpower etc'). You can arguably blame me for not having followed their advice, but it is the same advice that an untrained person would give you. Why did I visit that guy for years and gave him thousands of euros? Therapists are frauds, they exploit human pain to make money, stay away from them.

 

[amateur]

I don't dislike you at all. I don't find you 'unlikeable'. I've actually found some topics you've brought up quite interesting.

I've been told such stuff on forums I was finally banned from. Even if some members find my posts interesting, this never prevented mods from banning me, as it will happen here.
Besides, those who claim they like me never met me in real life. In real life, every person that talked to me for over a few minutes in a row decided they want nothing to do with me.
Last summer, I accidentally met an old classmate of mine whom I never had any relationship with while at school. He told me 'I saw you from far away and something inside me told me that this soul (he meant me) feels lost right now. Don't isolate yourself. Here is my phone number. Call me.'
I never called him. Because I knew that, if he gets to know me, he'll hate my guts. By the same logic, I should probably leave this forum myself too, since I know that you will ban me.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I swear at babies.

Well, they deserve it.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I am just old, I did not care for my son's language when he got out of the Coast Guard and it is true he said women in the Coast Guard spoke the same way, that was hard to get my head around. It was 3 or 4 years before his language became better.
But then again my wife's mother never cussed, until she was in her 80's and then she cussed a lot.

I had a great-grandmother whose favorite response to "I want..." was "Want in one hand and **** in the other, and see which one gets full first."

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I don’t know you, and I’m not a therapist. But I believe you cannot force a smile. You have to be happy, and then smile. My thoughts, find what makes you happy. You can’t pretend to be happy around others if you yourself are not. If others have been cruel to you, it will be hard to open yourself up to others. Happiness is contagious. Do what you love and focus on yourself for a while. Don’t worry about some forum online. Go outside and be happy. Others who share what you enjoy will come to you if you let them. Look at all of us here, talking to you, because we all have a similar passion. Try to find something new you love and allow it to help you forget the troubles of your past. The past will never go away. We can only choose to let it go through the joy of the present. Try to enjoy today without worrying about tomorrow. I think you may want to ask yourself to have the courage to try and build a new relationship, to have the confidence of being vulnerable to another’s judgement. This life is cruel and beautiful. Life is short, it should be simple, and it should end with a smile.

There's some evidence (I'll see if I can find the study I'm thinking of) that consciously smiling actually changes how we perceive others, regardless of our own mood at the time. There's a large amount of anecdotal evidence (from people in the service industry) that consciously smiling improves others' perception of you.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

When I started using social media, I thought I could chill and chat somewhere online. I was a fool to believe that this is any different from real life. Since I'm not liked in real life, I should have known I wouldn't be liked online either. As I have said, I have been banned from many forums all of sudden, for pretty much no reason, after I had stayed there for a while, opened my heart and being shown sympathy from people. It's not hard to tell that the same thing will happen here. Someday, you will ban me with a 'no reason' message and never reply to my appeals. Since it happens for no reason, there is something about me which cannot be said with words but is plain obvious to everyone but me, because I don't have the elementary intelligence or social skills to see it.
I have been told by my grandma and my uncle that I was born this way. One time, my father told me that I am a despicable being without an ounce of kindness in me. I don't remember what I had done, but I was only 10! If you're told by your parent such a thing when you're at the supposedly innocent age of childhood, imagine how resentful you are by strangers as an adult. My relatives have no reason to lie to me and their words are proven whenever I see the 'banned for no reason' message, which I will definitely see here as well in the future.
When I stopped caring and started being rude, years ago, I guess I was still in anger, but now I am not. Now I just don't care, without being angry. I am in peace with the fact that I'll never be liked by anyone. You can ban me and get it over with.

You're working VERY hard to convince us that you're irredeemable. Why?

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I know we don't do anything of the sort, nor is there any Secret Forum Admin Forum where we tell tails of terrible posters.
We're all too busy thinking of ways to spend our exorbitant salaries to bother.
The closest thing to what you're describing is sites that track spammers.

Of course not. The only secret moderator forum is for moderators to complain about senior moderators.

 

[amateur]

You're working VERY hard to convince us that you're irredeemable. Why?

Umm... I don't remember. How did this thread start? Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's hopeless. I know I will get banned again. I don't have to go through this again: turning on my computer one lovely day, seeing the ban message, post 1000 appeals trying to figure out what happened and whether we can find a peaceful solution only to wait forever without getting a reply. All this process is just frustrating and disappointing. I don't have to relive it. So I will leave this forum before that happens.
I have to man up and accept the undeniable truth that I cannot change the fact I will never have people around me in my life, to stop being bothered by it. I give up social media. I give up martial arts; they are fun but they no longer seem that important to me, after I came to terms with the fact I will be alone forever and ever. Goodbye.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Umm... I don't remember. How did this thread start? Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's hopeless. I know I will get banned again. I don't have to go through this again: turning on my computer one lovely day, seeing the ban message, post 1000 appeals trying to figure out what happened and whether we can find a peaceful solution only to wait forever without getting a reply. All this process is just frustrating and disappointing. I don't have to relive it. So I will leave this forum before that happens.
I have to man up and accept the undeniable truth that I cannot change the fact I will never have people around me in my life, to stop being bothered by it. I give up social media. I give up martial arts; they are fun but they no longer seem that important to me, after I came to terms with the fact I will be alone forever and ever. Goodbye.

And, again, you're working very hard to convince me of all of that. Why?

 

[skribs]

Degree for what? For telling you the same stuff as everybody else? ('It is up to you to find the willpower etc'). You can arguably blame me for not having followed their advice, but it is the same advice that an untrained person would give you. Why did I visit that guy for years and gave him thousands of euros? Therapists are frauds, they exploit human pain to make money, stay away from them.

Are you so desperate to prove that you're unlikable that you're purposefully insulting multiple members in this thread by calling therapists frauds?

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

And, again, you're working very hard to convince me of all of that. Why?

Crow weep to the dark.
Tide bellow in the northern wind.
How lonesome the world.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Of course not. The only secret moderator forum is for moderators to complain about senior moderators.

I'm guessing it's a really really busy forum. Like 500 posts per day.

 

[_Simon_]

Last summer, I accidentally met an old classmate of mine whom I never had any relationship with while at school. He told me 'I saw you from far away and something inside me told me that this soul (he meant me) feels lost right now. Don't isolate yourself. Here is my phone number. Call me.'
I never called him. Because I knew that, if he gets to know me, he'll hate my guts. By the same logic, I should probably leave this forum myself too, since I know that you will ban me.

See how the opportunity for healing came up and you pushed it away? You made that choice. Your belief created that reality for you. The opportunity will keep coming up eternally until you finally say yes to it. If it's significant enough, it will (as it has).

It's like you're crying out for help... but every chance for help that comes you push away. I know that all too well because I did that for too long. There were so many around me that were there to help, yet every time I reached out and they responded, I pulled away. The pain had to get to an unbearable level for me to finally drop my defenses and think that there must be another way...

It's like there's all this support around you, the universe is literally telling you "It's okay, you don't have to do this anymore. You're not the person you take yourself to be. It's safe to open up to this." And you keep responding with "Ah! Yes that's what someone told me in the past! It's okay I'm gonna push you away because it's just always gonna be this way."

You are literally recreating your experience. Over and over. Can you see that?

And you're stuck in trying to convince us that your world is real. It's not.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

I'm guessing it's a really really busy forum. Like 500 posts per day.

That's about right. But to be fair, 495 of those posts are from Gerry. And 490 of those arent even related to the purpose of complaining about senior mods. He has to keep his post count up somehow!

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I'm guessing it's a really really busy forum. Like 500 posts per day.

How do you think I keep my post count up, while still finding time to spend my exhorbitant moderator salary?

 

[donald1]

What kind of theories could you possibly have said to be called a Nazi? I mean... I say stupid stuff every day and yet usually I just get the look of disaproval. That and occasionally someone questioning my level of sanity or intellect. Never been called any names though. Actually no. I've been called a lot of names actually, but not Nazi.

Also I'm not sure what point the old lady was trying to get at. I mean "people are born not made" wow... Them some wise words to live by. Truly inspirational. Anyway don't listen to her. If you wanna be nice go for it! Either way I won't judge.
Good luck to ya!

 

[skribs]

See how the opportunity for healing came up and you pushed it away? You made that choice. Your belief created that reality for you. The opportunity will keep coming up eternally until you finally say yes to it. If it's significant enough, it will (as it has).

It's like you're crying out for help... but every chance for help that comes you push away. I know that all too well because I did that for too long. There were so many around me that were there to help, yet every time I reached out and they responded, I pulled away. The pain had to get to an unbearable level for me to finally drop my defenses and think that there must be another way...

It's like there's all this support around you, the universe is literally telling you "It's okay, you don't have to do this anymore. You're not the person you take yourself to be. It's safe to open up to this." And you keep responding with "Ah! Yes that's what someone told me in the past! It's okay I'm gonna push you away because it's just always gonna be this way."

You are literally recreating your experience. Over and over. Can you see that?

And you're stuck in trying to convince us that your world is real. It's not.

It's like the story of a man who's in a town that's going to flood. The man prays "God, please save me from the flood."
The rains come, and the water is just starting to rise above the ground when a truck rolls by. "Hop in," the driver says. "I've got plenty of room."
"No thanks," the man said. "I prayed, and God will save me."
The water rises, and the man has to go to the second floor to stay dry. He hears a motor outside so he goes to the balcony and sees a speedboat coming towards him. "Hop on in," the driver of the boat says.
"No thanks," the man says again. "I prayed, and God will save me."
A while later, the water has risen even more, and the man is forced onto his roof. A helicopter is flying by and sees him. The pilot yells "I'll drop down a ladder so you can climb aboard."
"No thanks!" the man yells. "I prayed, and God will save me."
Well, the man drowns, dies, and goes to heaven. So he asks God, "why didn't you save me?"
And God says "well I sent a truck, a boat, and a helicopter, what more did you want me to do?"

Whether or not you believe in God, you can see the point I'm making by bringing this story up. If help is there, you should take it when you have the chance. Because that chance might not come around again.

 

[Gnarlie]

Amateur, what country are you in?

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