First Competition Next Week. Freaking out.

When it's all new your focus is all over the place...because it's all new. Each time you'll know better how to prepare and what to expect, so you will focus better and think more clearly. The real win or loss is not the score but whether you grew and learned, and it's clear that you did. Good job!
 
Time for the debrief: Well, I didn't win, but that's actually OK. Came in second on forms and lost my first (and only) sparring match -- it was sudden death elimination. I have some video of the fight I can post from work on Monday, if anyone wants to see it.

Bad news: I didn't win.
Good news: I now have a proper nemesis :) -- the chick I lost to on both forms and sparring, so now I can train with her in mind. She's a high red belt and was actually quite nice in real life, but next time we meet in competition, I'd like to kick the shiznit out of her.

The competition itself: there was a whole lot of sitting around and wondering confusedly from place to place. I was in the zone and ready to go for the sparring, but then there was some confusion, where the ref had me change a bunch of equipment -- my helmet was the wrong color, then there was a scramble to find instep protectors (didn't think we needed them), so ended up with some borrowed point sparring protectors, which basically look (and feel) like giant clown shoes. And then it was on. Basically, all my strategy and pre-gaming went out the window; I mostly reverted back to "kill mode" and started wailing on her. It went by really, really fast, but the slightly messed up part is that I actually thought I was winning until I looked at the scoreboard. I think I lost by three points. My brother tells me I got in a lot more kicks, but most of them weren't "point" kicks (something that I definitely need to figure out before the next competition.) Also, seeing myself on video...I'm a lot stiffer than I thought I was (and, um, way goofier looking than I thought as well). And, the other girl was just better, that's all there is to it.

However, my whole family got to see me, my buddies turned out in force, and it turned into a surprisingly warm, fuzzy experience and into, heck, one of the better days of my life! Then we went out for Korean barbecue and polished off a couple of bottles of soju :) Definitely doing it again, but, man, I have a loong way to go!

Thank you all for being awesome and for the encouragement!

You should be quite proud of yourself. Hope the Soju was good :)

Try and avoid "kill mode" in the future. That's a color belt mentality and while there's nothing wrong with that, thinking like a top level black belt athlete will have you fighting like one. There are people here who have forgotten more about coaching than I will ever know, Terry being one of them, so I am not the best source of elaboration on that.
 
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