Fakey McFakington

[Bill Mattocks]

I love Guinness. I love bourbon. Irish whiskey, not so much. Scotch, not at all. However, I did not imbibe that much. Maybe once a quarter, and never to excess any more. I do not like hangovers.

However...blood thinners got in the way. I am not to have alcohol anymore. That's a shame. I wasn't drinking much; now I drink none.

Recently, I saw an advert for fake bourbon. Non-alcoholic. I told my wife, she ordered a bottle so I could give it a try. I wasn't expecting much, to be honest.

Kentucky 74, by Spiritless (appropriate name). I tried it neat. Nope. Ugh. But the instructions said to try it in a mixed drink. So I poured it over ice in a glass with Diet Coke. Ah. Much better.

Is it bourbon? Nope. It has the smell, the look, and some of the mouth feel. The taste is...something like bourbon. I think the smell being dead on helps, to be honest. There's no burn, no sting. Of course there wouldn't be, no alcohol. I took about a month to get through the bottle. I didn't hate it as a mixed drink. I did like not worrying about what it was doing to my blood sugar or interacting with my blood thinners or having a hangover.

Just for comparison, I tried a different brand. Free Spirits bourbon. Ick. Nasty. Does not smell like bourbon, doesn't look like bourbon, definitely doesn't taste like bourbon; at least not to me. I tasted corn as the strongest note, and it was too sweet. Again, this is just my perception. I could not drink it all; it went down the sink, money wasted.

I read a lot of comments online. Most people hate all of these alcohol-free attempts to imitate various types of alcohol. I get it. If you want the bourbon experience, you have to drink bourbon. Nothing else is really bourbon. If that's your yardstick, you're not going to dig this stuff.

But I recall when I switched from regular soda to diet soda, many years ago when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. For two weeks, the stuff just tasted nasty. How could anyone drink this swill? But you get used to it. Now diet soda tastes sweet. Regular soda tastes WAY too sweet; undrinkable. Like drinking a bottle of pancake syrup.

So I am sharing my experience in case anyone else out there is unable to drink anymore but still wants to bourbon (or gin, vodka, etc) experience.

It's not the same. Some of it is a close-enough deal for me. Might be for you, or maybe not. I think it's going to be a personal thing.

But I suspect this is a growing market. More and more of us can't drink alcohol anymore, for a variety of reasons.

 

[Steve]

I love Guinness. I love bourbon. Irish whiskey, not so much. Scotch, not at all. However, I did not imbibe that much. Maybe once a quarter, and never to excess any more. I do not like hangovers.

However...blood thinners got in the way. I am not to have alcohol anymore. That's a shame. I wasn't drinking much; now I drink none.

Recently, I saw an advert for fake bourbon. Non-alcoholic. I told my wife, she ordered a bottle so I could give it a try. I wasn't expecting much, to be honest.

Kentucky 74, by Spiritless (appropriate name). I tried it neat. Nope. Ugh. But the instructions said to try it in a mixed drink. So I poured it over ice in a glass with Diet Coke. Ah. Much better.

Is it bourbon? Nope. It has the smell, the look, and some of the mouth feel. The taste is...something like bourbon. I think the smell being dead on helps, to be honest. There's no burn, no sting. Of course there wouldn't be, no alcohol. I took about a month to get through the bottle. I didn't hate it as a mixed drink. I did like not worrying about what it was doing to my blood sugar or interacting with my blood thinners or having a hangover.

Just for comparison, I tried a different brand. Free Spirits bourbon. Ick. Nasty. Does not smell like bourbon, doesn't look like bourbon, definitely doesn't taste like bourbon; at least not to me. I tasted corn as the strongest note, and it was too sweet. Again, this is just my perception. I could not drink it all; it went down the sink, money wasted.

I read a lot of comments online. Most people hate all of these alcohol-free attempts to imitate various types of alcohol. I get it. If you want the bourbon experience, you have to drink bourbon. Nothing else is really bourbon. If that's your yardstick, you're not going to dig this stuff.

But I recall when I switched from regular soda to diet soda, many years ago when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. For two weeks, the stuff just tasted nasty. How could anyone drink this swill? But you get used to it. Now diet soda tastes sweet. Regular soda tastes WAY too sweet; undrinkable. Like drinking a bottle of pancake syrup.

So I am sharing my experience in case anyone else out there is unable to drink anymore but still wants to bourbon (or gin, vodka, etc) experience.

It's not the same. Some of it is a close-enough deal for me. Might be for you, or maybe not. I think it's going to be a personal thing.

But I suspect this is a growing market. More and more of us can't drink alcohol anymore, for a variety of reasons.

My wife doesn’t drink. The alcohol triggers her PVCs. But she likes a gin and tonic. So we have NA gin in the house and she likes it okay.

 

[geezer]

My wife doesn’t drink. The alcohol triggers her PVCs. But she likes a gin and tonic. So we have NA gin in the house and she likes it okay.

I'm pretty much a non-drinker too, though I will occasionally have a beer or mixed drink ....also about once a quarter at social events. The only blood thinner I take is aspirin, and I'm on statins, but the doc never said anything about alcohol. I also have cut out sweet soda, but never developed the taste for diet drinks. Instead i just drink a lot of unsweetened flavored soda water. Now my old stand bys like Coke and Dr. Pepper taste like drinking straight syrup.

Coffee and tea are great ....except as I'm getting up there I finally found out why old-guys always jokes about getting up at night to use the bathroom .

Word to the wise for geezerly guys: Never stop at Starbuck's for that last minute vente latte before boarding a long flight on a crowded plane.

 

[Xue Sheng]

My wife doesn't drink, I have not been much of a drinker for years

A couple years ago I thought I would enjoy brandy again...I didn't so I decided to go bake and try Sake, I like Sake, but I have not had any since. The only thing I would consider drinking these days is a dark beer.

 

[Dirty Dog]

My wife doesn’t drink. The alcohol triggers her PVCs. But she likes a gin and tonic. So we have NA gin in the house and she likes it okay.

Alcohol-induced arrhythmias are so common that it's got an unofficial name - Holiday Heart. People who are not big drinkers go to a bunch of holiday parties and end up in (most commonly) A-Fib.