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Eh. No one should be stabbing me but I still practice knife defenses. Self-defense is about being prepared for bad actors.
As usual, he's over-stating his case.
Most rape-prevention training includes such nuggets as, "most rapes are Acquaintance/Date Rape" and then offers a variety of advice to modify or mold behavior of the potential victim to not put her (him?) self in that position.
- Plan your date for a public place
- Don't have your date drive you, meet your date there
- Double-date
- Don't leave your drink unattended or with your date
- Do not drink to excess
- If you're going partying, go with a group of others you know and trust
- Make a pre-agreement with your group/double-date wing to watch your behavior and to warn you if you appear to be becoming too intoxicated or may be drugged
- &tc.
These are all classic staples of rape-prevention training and tacitly acknowledge that a potential victim's behavior and choices can either contribute to their safety or contribute to making them more vulnerable to a crime.
Mr. MacYoung is over-stating his case.
Peace favor your sword,
Kirk
bankruptcy?
The training is, "Hey, if she's drunk or passed out... that's rape." It's, "This is rape. This is not rape." Because the issue is muddied in popular culture from scenes from TV Shows and Movies as recently as last week, to as far back as I can remember (Anyone remember the devil/angel scene in Animal House).
Okay. I'm just going to cut and paste what I've already said, because it really seems like you're missing it:Absolutely. If people have to be informed that having sex with a woman when she is unconscious is rape there is nothing there, morally or intellectually speaking, in the first place. Both for the person in question and, perhaps, for a good portion of wider society, which help form his moral behavior in the first place. Again, that's not to mitigate the rapist's culpability, it's just to point out the fact that he, apparently, missed even the most basic moral formation (or it was eventually overcome by other influences which is, again, damning).
Yes, and I'm saying that if this most basic of information needs to be passed out as if it's some sort of newsflash for men of college age then there is nothing but a huge black hole in their consciences. Utter moral and intellectual bankruptcy. We could have a lively debate about why it is that we find ourselves at this juncture, I'm sure, but IMNSHO, the fact that we're having this conversation in the first place amply illustrates the dire straits we're in. We might as well inform them that picking someone's pocket is theft if they need that kind of remedial moral formation.
Pax,
Chris
I agree. It's the cognitive dissonance at work, similar to kids who steal movies or music off of Usenet or a torrents site. Most know that stealing is illegal and would never steal from a store. The issue isn't whether or not they understand that stealing is wrong. They just don't see downloading music from a website as stealing. It's a disconnect that has resulted because society at large has sent mixed signals. Same thing in a frat house. The culture of the Greek System is, in my experience, broken and dysfunctional, where excessive drinking as a means of "getting laid" is presented as something other than rape. The culture of the group creates a disconnect where the behavior is excused and understood to be something other than the behavior that is considered immoral.I don't think most men need to be told that rape is wrong. And the ones who do won't get the message from a speech or presentation. For the handful that need some sort of clarification that if she's drunk, she can't consent -- but, honestly, many aren't going to get the message that way, either.
I genuinely don't understand what you're disagreeing with here. You are saying pretty much the exact same thing, just using stronger and more judgmental language. If you're acknowledging that we have a culture that sends mixed messages to kids regarding rape, condemning and simultaneously excusing it, which has brought us to a point where we need to do something about it, I agree. Call it moral bankruptcy, rape culture or whatever language you choose.
Okay. Thanks. This makes some sense now. I think we're arguing over a matter of degrees here. I agree with you to a point. I just think you're overstating things.I was disagreeing with two things. First, your seeming disagreement that such a requirement for "training" men not to rape unconscious women would be an indication of moral bankruptcy (when you said: "bankruptcy? I don't know about that."). If such education is, in fact, a necessity then yes it's a sign of moral bankruptcy.
This is where I get really confused. Where have I said that this kind of training would have any substantive effect? In fact, I'm pretty sure I have said that it will likely not have any noticeable affect.Secondly, I would very much disagree with the idea that such a "training" would have any substantive effect in the first place, for the reasons I stated above. If it is the case that a person's parents haven't inculcated a moral sense in them that would prohibit such behavior in the first place, nor their church, for that matter, and that the other societal influences that you cited have formed them in such a manner as to see that behavior as acceptable then I see little hope that having some remedial training would make any positive impact. Yes, we need a "fundamental shift in culture." But I see no such movement on the horizon, and little if any interest in actualizing such a development.
I agree. It's the cognitive dissonance at work, similar to kids who steal movies or music off of Usenet or a torrents site. Most know that stealing is illegal and would never steal from a store. The issue isn't whether or not they understand that stealing is wrong. They just don't see downloading music from a website as stealing. It's a disconnect that has resulted because society at large has sent mixed signals. Same thing in a frat house. The culture of the Greek System is, in my experience, broken and dysfunctional, where excessive drinking as a means of "getting laid" is presented as something other than rape. The culture of the group creates a disconnect where the behavior is excused and understood to be something other than the behavior that is considered immoral.
If we disagree at all, it's that you seem to be saying that all hope is lost, and I think that's why I wonder at the use of more absolute language like "bankrupt." I don't believe that to be true.
There's no reason to believe that we can't create a necessary shift in our culture. We've seen it in many areas of our lives, from interracial and gay marriage to drinking and driving to workplace harassment and discrimination and many, many other examples.
I wouldn't say all hope is lost. But I am certainly not an optimist about putting the breaks on things and reversing course.
Sure we've seen changes in behavior over time, but I seriously doubt people have the interest or wherewithal to change this one. I could certainly be wrong.
FWIW, I don't see your example of interracial marriage as really applying since it was a temporary and localized aberration from pretty much the entire Common Law tradition. In India, for example, it was estimated that upwards of a third of English men had married an Indian wife. The interracial marriage ban was, in effect, an invention of American slave owners. I don't know that rape falls into that same category (localized and temporary).
You seem to be saying that we can somehow educate people into moral goodness. You can certainly educate them as to what the good is. But I don't think that knowledge is itself going to make them choose it. Hasn't worked with theft, murder, lying, etc.
Pax,
Chris
The reality is that sometimes how we dress and act does create a "had it coming to you" reality.I don't believe in the mindset of "she had it coming" just because of the clothes/actions she took.
Iāve learned a lot over the years. Wish Iād been a little less worried about getting along and more direct in my posts. Itās interesting how much has changed since 2013 and sad how much has not.Sorry to necro-post ... a little. I tried to stomach my way through this thread - all posts of which have been made by men, the statistically larger group that rapes people - and I just can't help but sigh.
There's a lot of (frankly) useless discussion here. Marc McYoung's repeated barking about victim-blaming and cry-bullies has always left me dry and on guard.
Generally, people of all walks of life can be cavalier about their surroundings, their associations, their practices, their lifestyles, yet the three top sectors of the population to be victims of violent crimes such as rape are all females and 3 out of 4 rapes are committed by someone known by the victim.
We're not stupid here. Self-defense is necessary because of bad people who act badly. Risk reduction is necessary BECAUSE of those bad actors.
The apologetics touted by bloggers who make money off of controversial positions are hardly viable and a flaccid (though desirous of a more purchased) attempt at offloading the responsibility of men to start calling out men for bad behavior, for acting in the greater good. I seriously think McYoung couldn't support the victimhood of women if someone PAID him to.
It's simple, really - tell me what elderly women in loaded diapers and infants who can't walk can do to reduce their victim ratio? Or are mumus and bibs just that sexy?
Rape is not about sex - it is about control - dominance - power-over. Sex is the weapon.
Get a grip, fellas ... literally.
So you're upset that men are discussing a crime that other men are statistically more likely to commit than women? Should men therefore not discuss bank robbery, murder, or muggings because those are crimes typically committed by other men? If men are barred from discussing prevention, defense, and mitigation strategies for crimes statistically more often committed by men, what crimes can men comment on?Sorry to necro-post ... a little. I tried to stomach my way through this thread - all posts of which have been made by men, the statistically larger group that rapes people - and I just can't help but sigh.
Umm... You're not new to the forum. Why should this thread be any different?There's a lot of (frankly) useless discussion here.
He often has that affect on people, regardless of gender.Marc McYoung's repeated barking about victim-blaming and cry-bullies has always left me dry and on guard.
And? Where are you going with this?Generally, people of all walks of life can be cavalier about their surroundings, their associations, their practices, their lifestyles, yet the three top sectors of the population to be victims of violent crimes such as rape are all females and 3 out of 4 rapes are committed by someone known by the victim.
I re-read the thread and I don't think anyone disagrees with that.We're not stupid here. Self-defense is necessary because of bad people who act badly. Risk reduction is necessary BECAUSE of those bad actors.
Could you go over that again? Because it sounds a little bit like you're saying that all men bear a responsibility for some other person's behavior and choices. If all men do not instantly decry every instance of "bad behavior" they're somehow "offloading responsibility?" What else does this apply to? If one man tells a lie are all men required to immediately denounce or bear responsibility for another's lie? Does this rule apply only to men or are women also on the hook for other women's misdeeds? If one woman lies, steals money, or assaults another person, are all women required be immediately denounce the action or share in the responsibility of the misdeed?The apologetics touted by bloggers who make money off of controversial positions are hardly viable and a flaccid (though desirous of a more purchased) attempt at offloading the responsibility of men to start calling out men for bad behavior, for acting in the greater good. I seriously think McYoung couldn't support the victimhood of women if someone PAID him to.
Elderly women? Well, that was, in fact discussed in the thread. But you admitted that you didn't actually read the thread so you probably missed it. It involves various mitigation strategies and I particularly mentioned weapons several times.It's simple, really - tell me what elderly women in loaded diapers and infants who can't walk can do to reduce their victim ratio? Or are mumus and bibs just that sexy?
Except for when it is.Rape is not about sex
So you're upset that men are discussing a crime that other men are statistically more likely to commit than women? Should men therefore not discuss bank robbery, murder, or muggings because those are crimes typically committed by other men? If men are barred from discussing prevention, defense, and mitigation strategies for crimes statistically more often committed by men, what crimes can men comment on?
And? Where are you going with this?
Could you go over that again? Because it sounds a little bit like you're saying that all men bear a responsibility for some other person's behavior and choices. If all men do not instantly decry every instance of "bad behavior" they're somehow "offloading responsibility?" What else does this apply to? If one man tells a lie are all men required to immediately denounce or bear responsibility for another's lie? Does this rule apply only to men or are women also on the hook for other women's misdeeds? If one woman lies, steals money, or assaults another person, are all women required be immediately denounce the action or share in the responsibility of the misdeed?
Maybe I missed your actual position because none of that sounds reasonable at all.
Elderly women? Well, that was, in fact discussed in the thread. But you admitted that you didn't actually read the thread so you probably missed it. It involves various mitigation strategies and I particularly mentioned weapons several times.
Except for when it is.
So it would be GREAT if MEN could say - "hey, just because a woman dresses up and puts makeup on doesn't mean she's trying to attract someone. Shut that **** down." It is a GENERAL, SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY - just as many martial artists purport to possess, that of protecting themselves, their loved ones, and someone in genuine need if logically feasible and sensible.
Virtually EVERY expert on rape completely disagrees with this. When do YOU think it's about sex?