corny joke time

[elder999]

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer
asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now- in her 80's - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers


She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

 

[seasoned]

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer
asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now- in her 80's - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers


She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

:rofl:

 

[donnaTKD]

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer
asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now- in her 80's - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers


She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

ROTFLPMSL

:lfao:

 

[Touch Of Death]

The worst part of spanking a kid in Walmart is when you have no idea who's kid it is.

 

[donnaTKD]

The worst part of spanking a kid in Walmart is when you have no idea who's kid it is.

:lfao:

ROTFLPMSL -- face slap

 

[donald1]

I've been in love with this lady for 50 years, would be a shame if my wife found out...

All of my credit cards were stolen by a thief, and I would have reported them stolen but i realize the thief spends less than my wife

What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler, eventually the rottweiler is going to let go

The doctor gave me six months to live, but I couldn't pay the hospital bill so he gave six more

The man walked out and got hit by a car, the driver got out and asked if he was okay, and the man said as long as my attorney is still working I'm doing better than good

 

[seasoned]

I've been in love with this lady for 50 years, would be a shame if my wife found out...

All of my credit cards were stolen by a thief, and I would have reported them stolen but i realize the thief spends less than my wife

What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler, eventually the rottweiler is going to let go

The doctor gave me six months to live, but I couldn't pay the hospital bill so he gave six more

The man walked out and got hit by a car, the driver got out and asked if he was okay, and the man said as long as my attorney is still working I'm doing better than good

:lfao:

 

[Touch Of Death]

When I die, I want my tombstone to read, "Yeah, but you should see the other guy."

 

[Touch Of Death]

I just found out that being sick of Obama is not covered by Obama Care.

 

[Touch Of Death]

What did the Atheist put on his tombstone?, "All Dressed Up But No Place To Go"

 

[donald1]

Speaking about tombstones that would be funny if one said. "you can't see me! "

 

[Buka]

 

[donald1]

:lool:

 

[Touch Of Death]

In my efforts to have a good time, I have found that game hens really aren't that fun.

 

[seasoned]

How do you make holy water?




Boil the hell out of it.......

 

[donald1]

If students wrote the bible then it would have instead look like this
Where God created the world in six days and rested the seventh. The students would have held off the first six days and pulled off a all nighter the seventh

When Cain killed Abel they would write because there roommates

And when moses and the followers wondered for 40 years? The students would write because they didn't want to ask for directions and seem like freshman

 

[Touch Of Death]

When someone says, "Knock Knock" to Chuck Norris, he just says, "Come in"; because, it doesn't matter who is there.

 

[Buka]

Speeding his tricked out muscle car into a sweeping country turn, crew cut, steely eyed Joe saw a pink mini-van coming the other way. The woman driving leaned out the window and yelled "Pig!"

He looked at her and screamed back, "Cow!

That's when he hit the pig.

 

[donald1]

I like the beach and so I brought some friends, I'm shore they will help a good time. I like making sandcastle but that's beachside the point. Maybe go sea a couple sites while up there. The sites are not as good as last year but oh whale we will still have fun

Neighbors: the only people that listen to both sides of the story

Love thy neighbor as yourself but choose your neighborhood

Nothing is more tolerant of a neighbors loud parties than being there

 

[donald1]

When someone says, "Knock Knock" to Chuck Norris, he just says, "Come in"; because, it doesn't matter who is there.

What about Bruce lee?