Bully bully bully

[yaxomoxay]

Many people start training in Martial Arts because they have been bullied or to avoid it (even on friends, sons etc.)
How many of you actually resolved bullying issues thanks to Martial Arts (not only a fight related resolution. Maybe increased self confidence helped etc.).
And... How many of you used Martial Arts to bully (and regret it) someone?

 

[Steve]

As a child I was both a bully and bullied by others. For me, martial arts have been completely unrelated to both. I train because I enjoy it and it's good for me.

 

[Cyriacus]

Interestingly, Ive never been Bullied.
Most of the People I knew were. But really, I have no idea why (I wasnt).

But if I had, I was in a perfect place to get into that Situation.

 

[shesulsa]

I was bullied. Training built my confidence to handle it more productively (and non-violently) without being someone's doormat.

 

[Kong Soo Do]

I've had people try to bully me. I stood up to them and they either backed down or we fought. Either way the bullying stopped. I don't like bullies and think they are generally cowards. This goes for the on-line variety as well. Martial arts had very little to do with it in younger years.

 

[DarkShadowfax]

Been bullied, but this was before I started taking SD-classes. I merely ignored the kids.

 

[Tez3]

A few people tried to bully me, especially at Easter time, I would belt them hard. I started martial arts because I wanted to belt them in easier and better ways.

 

[Cyriacus]

I've had people try to bully me. I stood up to them and they either backed down or we fought. Either way the bullying stopped. I don't like bullies and think they are generally cowards. This goes for the on-line variety as well. Martial arts had very little to do with it in younger years.

Mm. I wouldnt swoop on Bullies as Cowards too quickly. Alot of them are just pent up over things going on at Home. And needless to say, often theyve learnt by watching that abusing People is a solution. An Outlet. And like any Predator, itll take the easiest Prey.

 

[WC_lun]

I was a small kid and was in a military family, so yeah, I got bullied. I wanted to be able to fight back better, so I started martial arts at a community center. Funny thing was, after sparring some of the other kids in class a few times I got a reputation as a scrapper. Seemed that the reputation was enough to keep me out of trouble...mostly

 

[kbarrett]

I was bullied when I was younger, that's the main reason I got into martial arts in the first place, and I was going to get even. But many years later at my 10 reunion, I noitce that the ones I wanted to get even on where mostly fat slobs, and wheren't worth the time. I also came to understand it's not about the size of the person (I'm only 5'7") it's about his or her essence and charactor that really make the that person who they are.

Ken

 

[Kong Soo Do]

Mm. I wouldnt swoop on Bullies as Cowards too quickly. Alot of them are just pent up over things going on at Home. And needless to say, often theyve learnt by watching that abusing People is a solution. An Outlet. And like any Predator, itll take the easiest Prey.

Hence my comment that they are generally cowards. A lot of people have things going on at home, yet they act like civilized people. A lot of people are poor, yet they are honest and hard working. A lot of people have been abused, yet they don't become abusers. No, bullies pick on people, usually smaller and weaker than themselves, because they don't want to risk getting hurt...yet don't mind hurting others (this goes for words or physical abuse).

 

[Cyriacus]

Hence my comment that they are generally cowards. A lot of people have things going on at home, yet they act like civilized people. A lot of people are poor, yet they are honest and hard working. A lot of people have been abused, yet they don't become abusers. No, bullies pick on people, usually smaller and weaker than themselves, because they don't want to risk getting hurt...yet don't mind hurting others (this goes for words or physical abuse).

I see what Youre saying - But the thing is, it wouldnt really make sense to take on People twice their size. But if they did, would You call them Courageous Bullies?
The concept of being a Bully is to output ones pent up hostilities onto another Person, by Victimizing them. This cannot be done to a Mentally Superior Person. Let alone Physically. Not all People take this out on other People - Some take it out at Gyms. Or Alcohol. Its just another Outlet.

If You numb it right down, its Cowardice in the sense that its hardly Courageous. But at the same time, its sensible enough in its own context to round off the edges enough for calling them Cowards to perhaps seem like a blunt insult, more than a Description.

 

[Josh Oakley]

More than being bullied, I got straight out jumped... twice. Martial arts allowed me to limp away the first time and stroll away the second time.

 

[Master Dan]

I've had people try to bully me. I stood up to them and they either backed down or we fought. Either way the bullying stopped. I don't like bullies and think they are generally cowards. This goes for the on-line variety as well. Martial arts had very little to do with it in younger years.

Decades ago when I started many people did start due to fears of many types but the grand master a pioneer would give talks occasionally and eplained that many people start our of fear or hatred but when trianing gets hard those feelings suddenly are forgoten and unless there is a special spirit part of the training obtained to give another reason to train they will forget why they needed to be there and quit.

I have a new non profit program for 5th and 6th grade 3 days a week and the entire group have been selected for on the most part having behavior and learning issues. I really love these kids and they have so much potential but many just can't make it more than 3 days with out being suspended or on report from acting out or violence. Telling them no and just sending them home is not enough. There have been 6 year olds that have attacked thier teachers here so I am teaching and next thing I know a fist flys past my face and two or three of them are going at it and it always ends with being sent home. The last time last this week I noticed one of the main problems is they tend to shut completely down draw with in and close off not listening or act out to take control of the situation regardless of the cost. This time I was able to get both to listen by differnet methods and resolve it in class with out having them suspended. Near the end of the class I sat the group down and asked for three volunteers to act as the adult and I would do something wrong atacking another student.

It was a real eye opener of what each student felt was a good interpretation of the adult stoping and verbalizing the action. In each case I gave an example of how I as a young student would react by loud acting out throwing my self on the floor pulling my top over my head or a large tub or destroying walls or other things and then the last one was to calmly listen to the adult and say ok I will not do that again. First it was fun for them to see me reflect thier image back to them but also they learned it was more profitable to calm down reflect and choose or make better choices in how to resolve a feeling or situation which is the whole purpose of MA to stop think weigh the cost choose the best or most profitable action.

Next week I want to demonstrate and explain why adults yell initially when confronted with situations, that the students need to learn to cut the old people some slack due to the fact that they may yell from fear fear of someone getting hurt fear of them getting in trouble from children getting hurt in thier charge or out of love and fear of someone they care about getting hurt so cut them slack give them some time to calm down try to assit the poor old person to calm down and then listen to what they have to say after they stop breathing hard then show them you are really listening to what they are saying making positive comments about what they are saying and see how you will have a better outcome and be happy.

It used to be if I could get a kid by 13 here we could turn them arround but now I am seeing it reduced to 8-10 by 12 some are so far gone all you can see in thier future is jail and this is after all behavior health professionals and treatment has done all it can. Some by 19 are just gone or dead and need to be instutionalized.