Attacked in my front yard

[matt.m]

Well, here is a great turn of events......The wife of "Mr. Drunken Meat hooks" came out in her front yard this evening and plead his case. The whole "We are sorry that he's an idiot, he's sorry that he's an idiot, etc.

I told her that I was incredibly sorry that she has to go through what she decides to go through but I had asked for assault charges to be pressed and that was it. His wife thanked me for what I did. Her exact words were "Maybe he will understand that you can't just hit people because you want to."

I feel bad for a lady who is with a jerk like him. It just makes me incredibly sad, but she stays with him.

The guys wife is a class act, I just don't understand.

 

[Cruentus]

It is unfortunate when people are trapped in their own torment and relationships, and can't or refuse to see the way out.

 

[wade]

Simper Fi Bro......................:shock:

 

[exile]

You did the right thing, and maybe this is the kick in the teeth the guy needs to get his brain correctly repositioned inside his skull. The problem in the past clearly was, no one was willing to press charges. This may well be the first time the guy has had to face the consequences of his behavior at the right level of punishment. Could be a very valuable thing for him as well, in the end.

Please do keep us updated on this, Matt... and continue to be cautious and alert...

 

[Shaderon]

Well, here is a great turn of events......The wife of "Mr. Drunken Meat hooks" came out in her front yard this evening and plead his case. The whole "We are sorry that he's an idiot, he's sorry that he's an idiot, etc.

I told her that I was incredibly sorry that she has to go through what she decides to go through but I had asked for assault charges to be pressed and that was it. His wife thanked me for what I did. Her exact words were "Maybe he will understand that you can't just hit people because you want to."

I feel bad for a lady who is with a jerk like him. It just makes me incredibly sad, but she stays with him.

The guys wife is a class act, I just don't understand.

It's hard to understand unless you've been there. Unfortunately I have.
When you love someone, it doesn't stop just because they are a jerk, you defend them out of a belief that they can change, that give another chance they will learn this time, but after a while these bullies usually have their women believing that they can't do any better, that they are lucky to have them, they also have them scared of the consequences of them leaving, that they will come back and get them and it'll be worse because they were betrayed. The mental stuff usually begins long before the physical stuff. It's a total brainwash, and unfortunately it works on a woman whose mental defenses are at rock bottom from being repeatedly insulted.

As someone who has been there at the hands of one of these jerks, thank you for doing what you did and pressing charges. People like you are my heroes.

Sometimes the woman needs to see him doing it to someone else to start a cog ticking. No amount of reasoning will make her leave, she has to see it for herself and to hear from someone new that he is wrong. I Do plead with you however to report anything you have heard do hear or witness to the police for the kids sake, someone has to investigate, the kids can't leave, and if it comes down to loosing the kids or leaving her husband..... Sometimes it can make it worse short term, but in the long term you might save the life of one of them kids, or their mum.

Thank you Matt.

 

[matt.m]

It's hard to understand unless you've been there. Unfortunately I have.
When you love someone, it doesn't stop just because they are a jerk, you defend them out of a belief that they can change, that give another chance they will learn this time, but after a while these bullies usually have their women believing that they can't do any better, that they are lucky to have them, they also have them scared of the consequences of them leaving, that they will come back and get them and it'll be worse because they were betrayed. The mental stuff usually begins long before the physical stuff. It's a total brainwash, and unfortunately it works on a woman whose mental defenses are at rock bottom from being repeatedly insulted.

As someone who has been there at the hands of one of these jerks, thank you for doing what you did and pressing charges. People like you are my heroes.

Sometimes the woman needs to see him doing it to someone else to start a cog ticking. No amount of reasoning will make her leave, she has to see it for herself and to hear from someone new that he is wrong. I Do plead with you however to report anything you have heard do hear or witness to the police for the kids sake, someone has to investigate, the kids can't leave, and if it comes down to loosing the kids or leaving her husband..... Sometimes it can make it worse short term, but in the long term you might save the life of one of them kids, or their mum.

Thank you Matt.

I am half a step ahead of you, I told the cop that came to my house yesterday of what I know that he had done to the wife, 22 and 15 yr. old boys. I mean geez, in the Corps we used to "Have a talk" with guys that were not being decent human beings.

Also, last night I got the pepper spray for the missus and put it on he key chain. Drunken neighbor is still in jail as of this morning.

 

[Kreth]

I mean geez, in the Corps we used to "Have a talk" with guys that were not being decent human beings.

Ah, the legendary blanket party. A very effective deterrent. Maybe our justice system should implement it...

 

[matt.m]

Ah, the legendary blanket party. A very effective deterrent. Maybe our justice system should implement it...

Nah, not that civilized but you got the idea.

 

[Brian King]

Shaderon
Thanks for posting your story and helping our understanding. Perhaps your post will give others that also find themselves in the same situation the needed strength to better their position.

Matt,
Belated congrats on surviving and overcoming an attack. That you are taking the time to reflect and learn from the situation reflects well on you and your training.

Pepper spray on a key chain is a great idea, but you may also want to consider have a canister near the front door (Velcro on the canister and the door frame makes it convenient) that your wife can easily have in hand when answering the door. You might also consider buying an extra canister and taking the wife into the back yard and let her spray it to get the feel of working the canisters. Also a walk thru or around a cloud of spray to get a feeling of what it is like, familiarization before an actual use is highly recommended. By using a cloud and having her walk around it or thru it is much easier to take and control rather than taking a full blast. Have plenty of water on hand and a place to change clothing. Also be aware of drift so that you do not accidentally spray any of your neighbors.

A bad situation yet one that may have some good come from it. The neighbor’s wife may gather some strength, the neighbor may have been given a wake up call that he may listen to, and families that face danger together better learn teamwork and to rely on each others strength and Matt it sounds like that is your family.

Good luck my friend
Brian

 

[Tames D]

Shaderon
Thanks for posting your story and helping our understanding. Perhaps your post will give others that also find themselves in the same situation the needed strength to better their position.

Matt,
Belated congrats on surviving and overcoming an attack. That you are taking the time to reflect and learn from the situation reflects well on you and your training.

Pepper spray on a key chain is a great idea, but you may also want to consider have a canister near the front door (Velcro on the canister and the door frame makes it convenient) that your wife can easily have in hand when answering the door. You might also consider buying an extra canister and taking the wife into the back yard and let her spray it to get the feel of working the canisters. Also a walk thru or around a cloud of spray to get a feeling of what it is like, familiarization before an actual use is highly recommended. By using a cloud and having her walk around it or thru it is much easier to take and control rather than taking a full blast. Have plenty of water on hand and a place to change clothing. Also be aware of drift so that you do not accidentally spray any of your neighbors.

A bad situation yet one that may have some good come from it. The neighbor’s wife may gather some strength, the neighbor may have been given a wake up call that he may listen to, and families that face danger together better learn teamwork and to rely on each others strength and Matt it sounds like that is your family.

Good luck my friend
Brian

I doubt it. But hopefully he can change. The pepper spray is a good idea but I think I'd feel better knowing there is a Glock 19 velcroed to the door frame when my wife and kids are home without me.

 

[matt.m]

Everyone knows I am a combat vet from my time in the Marines. I have said 1000 times if only once that "Guns are just a bad idea." I have 10's of 1000's of firearms training. I know what it is like to put someone down with one.

I have seen idiots hurt themselves, having a gun is just a bad, bad, bad idea. Just a personal thought. By the way, one weekend I went the State championships and won 2nd in pistol and 1st in rifle using the M16 and the 9 mm. I did this almost 2yrs. after my last USMC qualifications.

Just not a big fan of gun ownership. What can go wrong outweighs the benefit of having one, period.

However, I do own 5 canes and a few k-bars. I also walk with a cane.

No, the wife is supposed to pull the curtain and tell unwanted visitors to go home and keep the phone by her at all times.

Firearms are great if you are unconditionally committed to using them, very few have had to shoot one in anger or defense and the longer you keep the gun off safe the more likely you are to get hurt. The sequence should be 1. pull out and 2. shoot 3. put away.

 

[IcemanSK]

Everyone knows I am a combat vet from my time in the Marines. I have said 1000 times if only once that "Guns are just a bad idea." I have 10's of 1000's of firearms training. I know what it is like to put someone down with one.

I have seen idiots hurt themselves, having a gun is just a bad, bad, bad idea. Just a personal thought. By the way, one weekend I went the State championships and won 2nd in pistol and 1st in rifle using the M16 and the 9 mm. I did this almost 2yrs. after my last USMC qualifications.

Just not a big fan of gun ownership. What can go wrong outweighs the benefit of having one, period.

However, I do own 5 canes and a few k-bars. I also walk with a cane.

No, the wife is supposed to pull the curtain and tell unwanted visitors to go home and keep the phone by her at all times.

Firearms are great if you are unconditionally committed to using them, very few have had to shoot one in anger or defense and the longer you keep the gun off safe the more likely you are to get hurt. The sequence should be 1. pull out and 2. shoot 3. put away.

A wise position. IMO

 

[CoryKS]

Just not a big fan of gun ownership. What can go wrong outweighs the benefit of having one, period.

To say nothing of what happens when things go right. In Matt's original post, he expressed a feeling of having done something wrong for punching the guy even though the situation was a textbook case of self-defense. Shooting the guy would probably feel a hell of a lot worse, especially if there had been alternatives. Sounds like Matt has a good handle on the situation without firearms.

 

[IcemanSK]

How have things been in your neighborhood lately, Matt?

 

[Drac]

However, I do own 5 canes and a few k-bars. I also walk with a cane

Ahh canes..As Grandmaster Mark Shuey Sr of CaneMasters calls them "A billyclub with meathook."

 

[matt.m]

How have things been in your neighborhood lately, Matt?

Thanks for asking. He got weekend jail for 3 months, probation, and 0 alcohol tolerance. No violence either, of any kind. If he gets busted then he gets a long time in the can to think about it.

The man won't even look towards my home. That is ok with me, I believe that is the best thing. We have agreed that I will wave hello and vice versa. That is the only "Kindness" to be shown and he is to mind his own business.

GM and Mr. Evans have been very concerned with helping me with cane flow drills. Mr. Evans came to my house after upper belt workout for a bit to help with the "Flooring" education. The wife and I are having him to re-do our kitchen and one bathroom.

Afterwards he and I went down and worked the "Ya just got knocked down to the ground what next stuff." for another hour.

 

[Ceicei]

Terrific that you got in some extra training! It's great that your MA show great concern for you.

- Ceicei

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Glad that thing's are getting better Matt. Keep training and taking precautions.

 

[Drac]

Thanks for asking. He got weekend jail for 3 months, probation, and 0 alcohol tolerance. No violence either, of any kind. If he gets busted then he gets a long time in the can to think about it.

Based on everything you said he's going to wind up a sitting for quite a spell in the future..THEN he'll see just how tough he isn't when he is turned loose into population..Guys with attitudes get them adjusted QUICKLY...

The man won't even look towards my home. That is ok with me, I believe that is the best thing. We have agreed that I will wave hello and vice versa. That is the only "Kindness" to be shown and he is to mind his own business.

Sounds like a good way to be...

GM and Mr. Evans have been very concerned with helping me with cane flow drills. Mr. Evans came to my house after upper belt workout for a bit to help with the "Flooring" education. The wife and I are having him to re-do our kitchen and one bathroom. Afterwards he and I went down and worked the "Ya just got knocked down to the ground what next stuff." for another hour.

You are MOST fortunate to have friends such as these....

 

[IcemanSK]

I'm glad thinga are better for you & that you're getting extra training!