Arrogance, and the Arts

[Carol]

Recently another engineer was in my office. We dialed in to a conference call via speakerphone. "We'll have these tests done in two days," blared the speakerphone. The engineer and I started at each other with our mouths hanging open. In a perfect world, we will be done in two days. In the real world, these tests usually take a week.

Now my colleague and I are hunkering down to not only do our tests, but to deal with a rather arrogant person in the process.

So my question....in the Arts, do you have a story to share about an arrogant person? And...whether or not...or how...you dealt with them?

 

[Brother John]

When I was younger and doing lots of tournaments there was a young man who was yelling that he was going to "ruin" me and demolish me. I just smiled and did my best.
I won.

Later when a spectator asked me how I'd beat him I just said: "Well...he'd already expended all of his wind before the match."

Pride goeth before a fall.

Your Brother
John

 

[Xue Sheng]

During the last 2 years with Yang style Sifu, as the class was going downhill, and new student showed up and was immediately allowed in the advanced class. He claimed to have extensive previous training in Traditional Yang Tai Chi, various tai chi styles, various Qi Gong styles and other assorted martial arts. After his first class it was obvious to all advanced students he had little experience in anything. Shortly afterwards there was a small group of beginners advanced to the advanced class. This person who claimed great training began to act very arrogant around the other new students and continually telling them how much he knew and how good he was. He also began pushing many of them around when they started push hands (bullying), because he of course had trained with several very advanced push hands masters and the people he was picking on knew nothing about push hands or martial arts for that matter.

All that were in the advanced class, before he arrived, ignored him for the most part and felt it was up to our Sifu to handle the situation. After this went on for a couple of months some of us talked to our sifu about it. He said he knew but the guy wouldn’t listen so he let him go.

After a few more weeks this self proclaimed master felt confident enough to spread his arrogance to the senior students.

The first student he challenged was senior to me and did most of assistant training to beginners. He did not avoid the challenge, he meant it head on and threw this guy all over the room. After that my fellow student went and talked to sifu and once again sifu did nothing. This senior student never returned and a week later another senior student stopped coming. My challenge came a couple of weeks later.

I became the second person he challenged to push hands, since I was the one doing much of the push hands training of the new students in the class at that time. I was able to avoid this challenge for a couple of weeks.

Finally I had no choice, he was interfering with what I was showing others and my sifu was ignoring the situation. When we did push hands I let him go as long as I could, until he decided to kick it up notch change it to free style push hands by throwing a punch. The punch missed, he then used all his force to attack my center. I absorbed his attack and bounced him back about 6 feet, he was done doing push hands with me. His arrogance and bragging seemed to subside after that. But he tried the same with another senior student, a women about 1/2 of his size about 3 weeks later, I was not in class. She was much gentler than I and was able to control him. After that he calmed down for many months. Just before I left my sifu for the last time Mr Arrogamt had started up again by correcting people’s form, when his form was far from correct.

Ironically he is a student of my current Sifu (CMC Tai Chi and Xingyi) as well. However he is far from arrogant there. I believe if he was he would find himself sparing this sifu so he is much more demure in this school.

Ultimately I feel it is up to the teacher to control this type of thing. My Jujitsu teacher spared with the arrogant ones, they weren’t arrogant long. My Yang style teacher, when I first started, asked one arrogant student that refused to listen, to leave. Even my Wushu teacher had talks with these types of students. I honestly do not remember any arrogant students in my TDK class, but that was very Korean type training and I think we all new better

 

[Sam]

Your instructor made a costly mistake, allowing that student to continue.

There are a couple arrogant blackbelts at my studio, but mostly I ignore them. One of them always tries to coach me in sparring class, but he always coaches wrong. He will stop in the middle of the ring and start talking. This is when I side kick him full power, or kick him in the head. If I act like I don't hear he will usually stop talking. My instructors are amused by this. I have little patience with these types, I'm afraid. If one is being especially bad, I tell my instructor about it, and he sympathizes with me. Not many people genuinely like these two guys, but they don't get the hint.

 

[Brandon Fisher]

There were 2 black belts in my old organization that were greatly favored however their knowledge and skill was just ok not a 2nd Dan level as they were ranked. They clearly did not have the understanding or even know the kata and techniques well enough to perform them let alone teach them. Ultimately my 22 years of experience got the boot and their 6 years of expereince prevailed. They were very arrogant and really talked to people badly but so did the instructor and they talked to him badly also but arrogance backfires at some point. These guys should be very happy together.

 

[terryl965]

Recently another engineer was in my office. We dialed in to a conference call via speakerphone. "We'll have these tests done in two days," blared the speakerphone. The engineer and I started at each other with our mouths hanging open. In a perfect world, we will be done in two days. In the real world, these tests usually take a week.

Now my colleague and I are hunkering down to not only do our tests, but to deal with a rather arrogant person in the process.

So my question....in the Arts, do you have a story to share about an arrogant person? And...whether or not...or how...you dealt with them?

Arrogance instructor no not really, arrogant person Phil he always know everything, how to deal with him disagree and he'll get you out of his forumsartyon:
Terry

 

[matt.m]

When I was at a randori tournament about ten years ago there was this black belt running around telling everyone he would win by ippon, on and on and on.

At the time I was close to testing for dan in judo, I asked my instructor who was also a master gunnery sergeant in the Marine Corps - also my wrestling coach. (I wrestled greco roman for the Marine Corps as well as studying judo during my enlistment.)

I hated this guy and his bravado, so I asked master guns if I could compete as a dan.

Long story short, I competed as a dan - against Mr. I hand out whoppins via ippon. I ipponed him with a sweeping hip throw in all of six seconds.

If there is two things I hate they are bullies and braggarts.

I remember taking Judo as a freshman in high school, the instructor had a foreign exchange student that was Japanese. 2nd dan, very talented. However, at the time I was only a yellow belt and was told to work with this guy for working on fshoulder throw.

Now to put this into perspective, It was summer so I an all 119 lbs of me had aspirations of varsity wrestling in the fall. This 2nd dan was about 220 as well as college sophomore.

Long story short, he about threw me through the mat - my father: hapkido master sees it. Invites, the gentleman to stay for hapkido. They randori, dad all but threw him through the mat five or six times.

Now the randori match between dad and the second dan was fair, at least weight class wise.

I have never liked bullies and braggarts, I don't suspect I ever will.

 

[Jenna]

I just think it is a right laugh that everyone here is so um.... aggressively proactive in handling arrogance as this would seem to be just another form of the same thing, no?

I believe handling arrogance or conceit is much easier than oneuppping because it is a truth surely that arrogance requires an audience? If I am the recipient of arrogance I will politely remove myself as the attentive audience .... easy

There is a more underhand way of deflecting arrogance if you are so inclined and it materialises because of the idea that arrogance has the utmost NEED to be taken seriously and if it suits you to belittle the arrogant person it is very easy to do by adding a little creeping condescension to your replies and once he knows you are not taking him entirely seriously his arrogance straight away loses most of its teeth and this is especially good for when the "audience" is a group but not exclusively so.

Arrogant people are people too and I think there is also a much deeper source to arrogance itself but this I know is irrelevant to the question at hand and so I hope this has value in some small way

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[Last Fearner]

Yes, perhaps this is the advice we should give to Carol Kaur in dealing with an arrogant co-worker. Just slam him or her to the floor a few times, or give a good solid side kick to the mid-section! Just Kidding! lol :lol:

Thank you Jenna for sharing your wisdom. I agree with your point. :asian:

Whenever I'm confronted with an arrogant person, I just wipe off the mirror and take a closer look.

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

My own. Inevitably, as soon as I start feeling a little uppity, the universe sends someone or something my way to take me down a notch.

 

[Robert Lee]

Just today. I went to the store to get my wife a birthday cake. As I stood in the check out line waiting for the person ahead of me to be finished getting checked out. A couple came up with there cart of food items. stood right next to me Then when the clerk was ready for the next person. That would of been me. These people tried to push right past and cut ahead I just stepped on forward handed the clerk the cake. Walked around the counter to pay. This couple looked and pulled there cart off to the side and just walked out of the store. My first thought was they were very rude. Then I wondered was they on drugs and did not really think about what they was doing. As They must have thought maybe I was just standing there But I had the cake in my hands. Story is is some people do not relize they are the ones that are being offensive To others they think the other person is. people say and do things they never relize how the other person will feel or react about what the do. Those types just bring there own self down and others shy away from them

 

[michaeledward]

Recently another engineer was in my office. We dialed in to a conference call via speakerphone. "We'll have these tests done in two days," blared the speakerphone. The engineer and I started at each other with our mouths hanging open. In a perfect world, we will be done in two days. In the real world, these tests usually take a week.

Now my colleague and I are hunkering down to not only do our tests, but to deal with a rather arrogant person in the process.

So my question....in the Arts, do you have a story to share about an arrogant person? And...whether or not...or how...you dealt with them?

I guess I have to ask, .... how did you deal with me, Carol? ... Many here will tell you I am an arrogant ....... Well, never mind.

I guess the way I choose to handle things, is to just remember that I only know what I know ... and at this point, what I know is incomplete.

There are aspects of Kenpo that I do know, and I am confident in my knowledge. But, just when I think I'm the Big Kahuna, I learn something new about something I thought I knew. This is always a humbling experience. And I just keep wishing I could get them all out of the way sooner, rather than later.

Truly, I just hope that, on the matt, I keep my self-confidence to a level that is a few steps below arrogance.

 

[Carol]

I guess I have to ask, .... how did you deal with me, Carol? ... Many here will tell you I am an arrogant ....... Well, never mind.

I'm surprised you have forgotten, Michael. :rofl:

You've got a committed handsword there

:CTF:


Ahhh but I am lucky for most people have not been on the mat with you and I have. You are most certainly not arrogant...not on the mat...not in person. (Had you been it would probably not been handswords that I was connecting with. :btg: )

I hope we can train again soon. Your support and guidance has been meaning more than you may realize. :asian:

 

[TigerWoman]

Recently another engineer was in my office. We dialed in to a conference call via speakerphone. "We'll have these tests done in two days," blared the speakerphone. The engineer and I started at each other with our mouths hanging open. In a perfect world, we will be done in two days. In the real world, these tests usually take a week.

Now my colleague and I are hunkering down to not only do our tests, but to deal with a rather arrogant person in the process.

So my question....in the Arts, do you have a story to share about an arrogant person? And...whether or not...or how...you dealt with them?

I have to deal with an arrogant person every time I show up for TKD class, my instructor. Yet he probably thinks he is very humble. Jokes slighting women I usually don't let slide. But everything else I usually let go in one ear and out the other.

Your story reminds me of deadlines I had as a graphic artist. If my boss promised something done in a certain amount of time and I didn't agree to it, I would promise her that I would give her a blow by blow update on my progress. I would ask would you like me cut an hour off and leave off one color? Would you like us to circumvent someone else doing their job so that ours could get done? Would you want to know if there is trouble at 2 am which affects the deadline? She got the drift. After that I was ASKED when I could have something done, and done right. As it was I worked around the clock somedays/nights anyway because I promised I could get it done.

Hope you still are not working at it and can have a holiday like the rest of us. TW

 

[mantis]

Recently another engineer was in my office. We dialed in to a conference call via speakerphone. "We'll have these tests done in two days," blared the speakerphone. The engineer and I started at each other with our mouths hanging open. In a perfect world, we will be done in two days. In the real world, these tests usually take a week.

Now my colleague and I are hunkering down to not only do our tests, but to deal with a rather arrogant person in the process.

So my question....in the Arts, do you have a story to share about an arrogant person? And...whether or not...or how...you dealt with them?

Yes absolutely
I have this guy in my class that claims to be a black belt in TKD/HKD/Judo when he was some place else.
when i spar with him im always afraid he'd do something stupid and actually hurt me, but he goes "black belts dont do mistakes". when he fights with someone and gets his butt kicked and gets a black eye he makes sure he tells everyone that he "got him back"!!
when the instructors say something you can hear him saying the same thing in the background. I find this guy the most annoying cocky guy in our class. When i see him in class i wish i didnt go!

To deal with it I just totally ignore that person and pretend he's not even there.

as for your work situation i dont know who that person is. but if he's your boss he's not being arrogant, he's just trying to push you guys. If you think you cannot do it in 2 days make sure you communicate that clearly. Do not accept deadlines you think are unreasonable. people will push you all the time, you have to learn how to push them back. I have a manager that thinks every task takes 5 min's to do where in reality they take weeks. It's a lot of stress, isnt it?

 

[Brandon Fisher]

I have been participating a little in another forum that I have found their attitude is very arogant. They preach what is and what isn't budo and where many of them don't even give their actual location or their background. One day someone will file suit and because of their arogant attitudes things will be really bad for them.

 

[hong kong fooey]

in my martial arts clas there was a brown belt who was very arrrogent. he would act like he was the best but when it came to doing forms he had to ask what the moves were so nobody really paid attention to him

 

[matt.m]

You know, I have been on the arrogant side as well. I am no angel, however here is a story. I have been working very hard, trying with core training and physical therapy etc. I was telling my father, only to him of course that I had been working hard etc. I had been explaining what I had been doing etc. I tell you guys that my head began to swell so big it almost made my hat pop off.

Now dad being the clever hapkido master he is looked at me, smiled and said "I hope you don't consider what you were showing me to be side kicks. He then began to tear the form apart."

To put this into perspective I had been in a back brace and walking with cane for over a year. I have been in leg braces everyday for about 10 years. So, dad told me to get back into class. It is a way of life for me.

It is that way for you guys as well, I am just so glad that there is a website such as this for all martial artists to communicate.

 

[Carol]

Wow...some interesting stories! Thank you all for sharing them and your kind thoughts so far.

The arrogant person in question is not a colleague (or my boss) but....well...let me just call him a "Person of Influence".

My colleague and I will not be working with him until the weekend...so....time will tell as to which way will be effective at dealing with him. It's kind of interesting to see how different people deal with differerent situations...while we all seem to know someone arrogant, it also seems that no two arrogant people are alike.

I'm ashamed to say...while working over night on a project a few things went wrong. A colleague of mine were in a technical discussion by e-mail. The colleague forwarded it to senior management, which he should not have done. I wrote a rather terse e-mail to my boss this morning complaining about how I lost control of the communciations process...which I should not have done.

Perhaps I will see first hand how my boss deals with an arrogant person: me. :uhyeah:

Keep the stories coming if you have them