Chronuss
Senior Master
just give her that and put some behind her ears like Tess said...and no one would be able to tell the difference..
just give her that and put some behind her ears like Tess said...and no one would be able to tell the difference..
OP
TheRustyOne
Guest
- Thread Starter
- #242
well grr if everyone's gonna pick on me then i'll just give up on being social. bah.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2002
- Messages
- 8,069
- Reaction score
- 25
rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttt.
OP
TheRustyOne
Guest
- Thread Starter
- #244
yeah. i was never social to begin with :shrug:
Chronuss
Senior Master
...suurrrreeeee...:shrug:
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2002
- Messages
- 8,069
- Reaction score
- 25
What is that smell?
OP
TheRustyOne
Guest
- Thread Starter
- #248
sorry, i guess the smell of everyone else drinking has clung to me :shrug:
You mean ...
Ok I will not
I will not say it
I will not
Chronuss
Senior Master
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
What he said
Chronuss
Senior Master
the scary thing is we were thinking the same thing...:rofl:
I fear to tread there so I will keep my foot out of my mouth, by saying nothing
Chronuss
Senior Master
no...foot definately wasn't anywhere near the mouth.
But foot was definately in our thoughts.
Chronuss
Senior Master
indeed it was....
OP
edhead2000
Guest
- Thread Starter
- #257
Dear Alcohol,
First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game, and you're even around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. Yet lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences, briefed below for your review.
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not what to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal but why do you suggest that I eat a kabob with chili sauce, along with a big Italian hoagie & some stale chips (washed down with chocolate Nesquik and topped off with a Kit Kat all after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? Eclectic eater I am, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down, it's completely unnecessary. The black and blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day is beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Pictures: This can be a blessing in disguise, as it can often clarify the last point below, but the following costumes are banned from ever being placed on my head in public again: Indian wigs, sombreros, bows, ties, boxes, upside-down cups, inflatable balloon animals, traffic cones, or bras. Also, what is with you making me take pictures with people I clearly don't like when I'm sober. Yet they suddenly become my best friends when a flash is presented?
5. Beer Goggles: If I think I may know him/her from somewhere, I most likely do not. Please do not request that I go over and see if in fact, I do actually know that person. The phrase "Let's F***" is illegal from now on. While I may be thinking this, please reinstate the brain-to-mouth-block that would stop this thought from becoming a statement, especially in public. Please stop me from talking to the guy/girl with the crooked teeth; acned-up face; bad breath, beer belly, etc. Why are they so appealing to me while I'm with you and why are they so disgusting to me the next morning after you have worn off??
6. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 p.m -hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,aspirin) prior to going to bed/passing out facedown on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily Saturday or Sunday (or any day for that matter) activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately.
I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions and hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you from your biggest fan.
First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game, and you're even around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. Yet lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences, briefed below for your review.
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not what to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal but why do you suggest that I eat a kabob with chili sauce, along with a big Italian hoagie & some stale chips (washed down with chocolate Nesquik and topped off with a Kit Kat all after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? Eclectic eater I am, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down, it's completely unnecessary. The black and blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day is beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Pictures: This can be a blessing in disguise, as it can often clarify the last point below, but the following costumes are banned from ever being placed on my head in public again: Indian wigs, sombreros, bows, ties, boxes, upside-down cups, inflatable balloon animals, traffic cones, or bras. Also, what is with you making me take pictures with people I clearly don't like when I'm sober. Yet they suddenly become my best friends when a flash is presented?
5. Beer Goggles: If I think I may know him/her from somewhere, I most likely do not. Please do not request that I go over and see if in fact, I do actually know that person. The phrase "Let's F***" is illegal from now on. While I may be thinking this, please reinstate the brain-to-mouth-block that would stop this thought from becoming a statement, especially in public. Please stop me from talking to the guy/girl with the crooked teeth; acned-up face; bad breath, beer belly, etc. Why are they so appealing to me while I'm with you and why are they so disgusting to me the next morning after you have worn off??
6. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 p.m -hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,aspirin) prior to going to bed/passing out facedown on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily Saturday or Sunday (or any day for that matter) activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately.
I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions and hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you from your biggest fan.
Chronuss
Senior Master
I think me and alcohol had this conversation a long time ago.
OP
edhead2000
Guest
- Thread Starter
- #259
I think I need to have a conversation with alcohol and tell him that he can't be your friend for another 7 months. Then you canChronuss said:I think me and alcohol had this conversation a long time ago.
artyon:
Chronuss
Senior Master
another seven months...?!...ack...that's when he can be my friend legally... :uhyeah:
