Why every martial art on earth will get you killed in self defencemy

[drop bear]

I could literally trip over a kycho and not know what it was.

Would knowing this get me beaten or killed?

He was the president on idiocracy.

 

[TSDTexan]

Logic is a style.

Seriously how have you not been beaten or killed yet?

My respawn timer is broken, every time I die it just resets and I keep breathing.

 

[Anarax]

Cause I watched some YouTube videos now I'm a 10th degree black belt in every style and my friends dads sons aunts moms sisters dog did martial arts and got beat up so that means martial arts is terrible and you will die a painful death if you do it.

But fear not my friends I have invented a brand new style which is the best thing ever and I will share for a small fee of 5000 pounds a week. A small price to pay for learning the only way to survive on this earth.

No need to thank me my friends it's the least I can do.

Unless your style can take out multiple attackers all armed with firearms, I have no interest in taking it.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

And look. there is no such thing as a superior style because martial arts success is about the individual. So long as people are having fun that is the important factor. This style is more specifically designed for combat in a modern context so it is better for modern fighting. And the IDF do it.

And anyone who hasn't trained in this style does not have the authority to judge whether the style works or not. And so we can only go off the opinion of a qualified expert. Which in this case would have to be the creator of that style.

So yeah seems legit to me.

This made me laugh way more than it should.

 

[TSDTexan]

Unless your style can take out multiple attackers all armed with firearms, I have no interest in taking it.

Would you like to sign up for some online classes in "Nuke-it-from-orbit-Fu"? It was created for dealing with all of your pesky, multiple hostilities (armed or otherwise).... and after all it's the only way to make sure.

Class size is limited, but you get a real certificate, a sword, some nunchucks, and a belt red or black.... your choice.

Now I will be glad to email you a contract that will lock you in for 24 months but if you prepay the program, in full, we will knock 20% off the 3000.00 tuition.

We include a 100% money back guarantee.
*that only is valid if you reside on the moon.

 

[Ryan_]

Sure. I have sparred with Bruce lee, ed Parker and hello Gracie and guess what....they are all now dead....there what more proof do people need now send me your cash and you get a free t shirt

I wasn't convinced, but free t-shirt? Okay, PayPal or direct debit?

 

[lansao]

I’ve found irrefutable evidence of headhunter-fu’s technical superiority. Check out this sparring match by his greatest pupil, wimp lo. #nostyle

 

[Anarax]

Would you like to sign up for some online classes in "Nuke-it-from-orbit-Fu"? It was created for dealing with all of your pesky, multiple hostilities (armed or otherwise).... and after all it's the only way to make sure.

Class size is limited, but you get a real certificate, a sword, some nunchucks, and a belt red or black.... your choice.

Now I will be glad to email you a contract that will lock you in for 24 months but if you prepay the program, in full, we will knock 20% off the 3000.00 tuition.

We include a 100% money back guarantee.
*that only is valid if you reside on the moon.

Hmmm, sounds tempting. I do have sovereign citizenship on the moon, so sign me up. Will you show me nerf gun disarms?

 

[Buka]

Bah. Peasants! You must be tired of living. (Please insert video not in sync with lips moving)

There is only Sticky Bud Fu. Once the incense is lit.....your techniques will be worthless and you will die the death of a thousand laughing hyenas.

 

[CB Jones]

Bah. Peasants! You must be tired of living. (Please insert video not in sync with lips moving)

There is only Sticky Bud Fu. Once the incense is lit.....your techniques will be worthless and you will die the death of a thousand laughing hyenas.

But only the stickiest of the icky will allow you to reach mastery level.

 

[TSDTexan]

Hmmm, sounds tempting. I do have sovereign citizenship on the moon, so sign me up. Will you show me nerf gun disarms?

We cover both nerf and airsoft disarms. the airsoft disarms are in the master instructor and commerce representative course.

And the with completion of this course, you will be able and authorized to begin making money selling this course. and the best part is. You don't train anybody, We do.
But for every one that your students "recruit" you get a percentage of each and every tuition... and that's called your down line. And every student, or even students of students for 20 generations will get you a percentage of that tuition!

We will make you rich!
The master course only happens 3 or 4 times a year. We will fly you out to Fiji for a week long Masters Seminar. Tuition is on a sliding scale, as low as 15k.

Chump change.... at our last training seminar, a former college cheerleader/drop out single mother of eight... set a new record. She did 3.4 million in sales.

She has been given purchase directorship over Australia and New Zealand. She is going to retire at 40.

So sign up for the Master today.... what are you waiting for?

 

[Buka]

But only the stickiest of the icky will allow you to reach mastery level.

 

[Grenadier]

Admin's Note:

OK, folks, the threads in question have been dealt with, and there's no need to carry on this kind of a discussion the General Self-Defense forum.