I guess it probably was taken out of context... Blue is Green. Things depend so much on perception.
I love training for combat, as you describe. I love learning, teaching and perfecting my skills. I am also employed by the government and I am extremely good at what I do and I enjoy feeling the pride of being extremely good at what I do and I do enjoy what I do... My actions directly result in the deaths of my enemy, so I guess you could say that I enjoy killing since I enjoy those actions that directly result in deaths...
A warrior, using my terminology, will cause the death of others but can never enjoy the thought of ending another human beings life. To a warrior, life is precious. Life is miraculous and powerful and a warrior recognizes this and is humbled. The termination of a life... any life... is to lose something that has more value that the most precious metal or jewels, so it is not done joyfully. A warrior hopes that he faces another warrior who knew how to love and live life to its fullest and love and be prepared for death at the same time. A warrior doesn't hesitate to kill, but does it coldly and efficiently, because he know that to hesitate is to meditate in a horizontal position. He may be prepared for death but he is so dedicated to the protection of his family, friends and duty that he MUST live and continue to protect them. A warrior can become two people. Gentle, loving and peaceful while being a cold, hardened weapon at the same time. It is this ability to be two people in one that allows the warrior to be at his most efficient. If one would look at his life, they would see him as a cold blooded killer because he isn't tormented by nightmares of those that he has killed. He is not a cold blooded killer, he has just learned how to live life and is reconciled, even in the act, knowing that because he has lived according to a very strict code of conduct he was in the right and did what was necessary.
This is so hard to explain... I don't know Chiduce's or anyone else's experiences, I just know mine. I serve my country as an intelligence agent so I can't go into any detail of locations or timeframe. I've been the cause of death and I've listened to their screams as they died. A member of the spec ops, infantry, pilot or artillary divisions just sees targets. Those that they kill are just faces, buildings and vehicles. They should find it very easy to reconcile themselves because there is no person behind the face. An intel agent is very different. In gathering information he learns very personal things about the target. He has become almost intimate in his knowledge about the target. The screams are of people, not just faces. Am I troubled by those screams? Not in the least. I did my duty and protected friends, family and innocent people. I feel a loss because having enemies only makes you stronger because you have to out think and out train your enemy. This is the joy of being a warrior. You respect your enemy because they give you so much. The harder they think or fight, you have to think harder and fight harder. With every new strategy or tactic they introduce, you have to develop a counter and use it against them. Your enemy is the stone on which a warrior is sharpened. You love your enemy because of all that he provides. When the enemy is gone you feel a loss because a part of you is gone. You take no joy in his termination, but you do it because the fight is over, you've won and have to seek a greater challenge.
So very hard to explain.
I love training for combat, as you describe. I love learning, teaching and perfecting my skills. I am also employed by the government and I am extremely good at what I do and I enjoy feeling the pride of being extremely good at what I do and I do enjoy what I do... My actions directly result in the deaths of my enemy, so I guess you could say that I enjoy killing since I enjoy those actions that directly result in deaths...
A warrior, using my terminology, will cause the death of others but can never enjoy the thought of ending another human beings life. To a warrior, life is precious. Life is miraculous and powerful and a warrior recognizes this and is humbled. The termination of a life... any life... is to lose something that has more value that the most precious metal or jewels, so it is not done joyfully. A warrior hopes that he faces another warrior who knew how to love and live life to its fullest and love and be prepared for death at the same time. A warrior doesn't hesitate to kill, but does it coldly and efficiently, because he know that to hesitate is to meditate in a horizontal position. He may be prepared for death but he is so dedicated to the protection of his family, friends and duty that he MUST live and continue to protect them. A warrior can become two people. Gentle, loving and peaceful while being a cold, hardened weapon at the same time. It is this ability to be two people in one that allows the warrior to be at his most efficient. If one would look at his life, they would see him as a cold blooded killer because he isn't tormented by nightmares of those that he has killed. He is not a cold blooded killer, he has just learned how to live life and is reconciled, even in the act, knowing that because he has lived according to a very strict code of conduct he was in the right and did what was necessary.
This is so hard to explain... I don't know Chiduce's or anyone else's experiences, I just know mine. I serve my country as an intelligence agent so I can't go into any detail of locations or timeframe. I've been the cause of death and I've listened to their screams as they died. A member of the spec ops, infantry, pilot or artillary divisions just sees targets. Those that they kill are just faces, buildings and vehicles. They should find it very easy to reconcile themselves because there is no person behind the face. An intel agent is very different. In gathering information he learns very personal things about the target. He has become almost intimate in his knowledge about the target. The screams are of people, not just faces. Am I troubled by those screams? Not in the least. I did my duty and protected friends, family and innocent people. I feel a loss because having enemies only makes you stronger because you have to out think and out train your enemy. This is the joy of being a warrior. You respect your enemy because they give you so much. The harder they think or fight, you have to think harder and fight harder. With every new strategy or tactic they introduce, you have to develop a counter and use it against them. Your enemy is the stone on which a warrior is sharpened. You love your enemy because of all that he provides. When the enemy is gone you feel a loss because a part of you is gone. You take no joy in his termination, but you do it because the fight is over, you've won and have to seek a greater challenge.
So very hard to explain.