What a day - forced to use SD against my own sister...

Adept said:
I don't want to drag the thread too off topic, but as a crowd controller/bouncer, I am often called on to use these techniques against violent, resisting persons, and when properly executed the opportunity for the other person to harm you is no greater than when executing striking techniques. I'd recommend taking a look at some jujitsu training to supplement your SD skills, if I were you.
I'd have to agree. Chokes, locks, and "come-alongs" are excellent tools to use in a situation where you don't want to hurt the other person, but don't mind putting them in a bit of pain...:)
 
Kreth said:
I'd have to agree. Chokes, locks, and "come-alongs" are excellent tools to use in a situation where you don't want to hurt the other person, but don't mind putting them in a bit of pain...:)
Agreed. I used a joint lock / pressure point combination on a relative. Surprised the heck out of him. He also stayed at a decent distance from that point forward.
 
Geez, guys, Sam just had a crazy, highly charged, emotional and violent confrontation with her sister. I am not sure we need to pick at her technique. She did well. She defended herself and received thankfully little injury, and didn't severly hurt her sister either. And she is still a relative newcomer to the martial arts on top of this. Truly amazing.

This was an unpredictable situation that had the potential to become extremely explosive in a hurry, and there were probably precious few fractions of a second in which she was able to even consider what kind of technique was appropriate. She acted on instinct based on her training, and survived the encounter and didn't deliver any overkill in the process. She deserves a huge pat on the back and congratulations, and probably needs a thorough round of hugs to boot.

It is always possible to second-guess what happened, but I'm not sure it is always necessary or appropriate. These situations get out of control in the blink of an eye and it is often not possible to even think of these other things until it is too late. Sometimes simple reaction is all that there is.

Sam, you did amazingly well and showed a tremendous level of clear-headedness. Well done, and you've got a huge hug from me, if it makes you feel any better about the situation.

Michael
 
Kreth said:
I'd have to agree. Chokes, locks, and "come-alongs" are excellent tools to use in a situation where you don't want to hurt the other person, but don't mind putting them in a bit of pain...

True. But unless you're very practiced at them, they can be hard to get and maintain on a resisting opponent...especially if you're 5'2". I can strong-arm most people I run into without a literal lock at this point, but I'm a little over 5'10" and a little under 200#. I'm not sure the advice that's good for a bouncer at a business with back-up and having been chosen for the job based on qualifications is a good model for someone cornered in his or her home.

If all techniques were equally effective for everyone, then sure, use a lock. But...it ain't that simple. The kick made space and kept distance. Especially if it was unclear whether the boyfriend would join in--a possible multiple-opponent situation--that isn't a bad idea.

In any event, I can't believe that this kind of second-guessing is helpful.
 
its a non issue anyway you guys, as I dont know locks or chokes.

considering the question that was asked, if I was alone with her, I would have continued to modify the techniques I was taught to different target areas until she got sick of trying to kill me. I think that would happen long before I would have to physically incapacitate her.
 
Flying Crane said:
Geez, guys, Sam just had a crazy, highly charged, emotional and violent confrontation with her sister. I am not sure we need to pick at her technique. She did well. She defended herself and received thankfully little injury, and didn't severly hurt her sister either. And she is still a relative newcomer to the martial arts on top of this. Truly amazing.

This was an unpredictable situation that had the potential to become extremely explosive in a hurry, and there were probably precious few fractions of a second in which she was able to even consider what kind of technique was appropriate. She acted on instinct based on her training, and survived the encounter and didn't deliver any overkill in the process. She deserves a huge pat on the back and congratulations, and probably needs a thorough round of hugs to boot.

It is always possible to second-guess what happened, but I'm not sure it is always necessary or appropriate. These situations get out of control in the blink of an eye and it is often not possible to even think of these other things until it is too late. Sometimes simple reaction is all that there is.

Sam, you did amazingly well and showed a tremendous level of clear-headedness. Well done, and you've got a huge hug from me, if it makes you feel any better about the situation.

Michael
You're right and I share your sentiments too. Perhaps we all jumped on the analysis part of it at an inappropriate moment.

It's second nature now to look back and analyze for many of us, Sam. I like to look back and think, okay, was there a better way or a more effectual way? You know what I mean? But that question is probably moot for you right now. The point of your thread is, I think, more along the lines of having to use self-defense skills on people you just shouldn't have to use them on. Is that right?
 
I dont think the thread had a point other than "get this off my chest".

It's old news now, our family has moved onto a new crisis.
My grandmother is unconcious and her lungs are filling with fluid, and my dad is going to sign the "dont recessitate" papers now... she's dying.
 
Flying Crane said:
It is always possible to second-guess what happened, but I'm not sure it is always necessary or appropriate.
I wasn't second-guessing Sam's actions. I think she did what was possible given the situation and her training. I simply felt that this statement, which seemed to imply that "soft" techniques are ineffective, was an inaccurate one:
Sam said:
We dont generally like chokes or holds. By examining the moves I am taught to use against them, I see what others could do to ME if I attempted a choke or hold on them.
 
Sam said:
My grandmother is unconcious and her lungs are filling with fluid, and my dad is going to sign the "dont recessitate" papers now... she's dying.

Wow, man, I'm sorry. Sounds like things are a little rough right now. Sending good thoughts your way.
 
arnisador said:
In any event, I can't believe that this kind of second-guessing is helpful.

I wasn't trying to second guess anyone. I think after a confrontation is the best time to evaluate yourself and your training. You can take the 'real' part of the confrontation, and add slight hypothetical twists to it. You know that what you did worked, but would it have worked if the situation was different in some way? Could you have done something different to achieve a better outcome? Was your choice of techniques the best possible? Did you feel at any time like your repertoire of techniques was lacking? Answering these questions can greatly improve your career as a martial artist.

And like I said, locks, holds and so forth aren't better than strikes. They are just different, and (I believe) useful tools to have at your disposal.

Sorry for opening this debate here Sam, and I wasn't trying to second guess your actions at all. I think you deserve a big pat on the back for the way you handled yourself, and it's a downer of a situation you found yourself in.

[edit]I'm really sorry to hear about your Grandmother too.
 
Sam said:
I dont think the thread had a point other than "get this off my chest".

It's old news now, our family has moved onto a new crisis.
My grandmother is unconcious and her lungs are filling with fluid, and my dad is going to sign the "dont recessitate" papers now... she's dying.

I'm sorry to hear this, Sam. You have my sympathy during this time.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, sam. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, Sam. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
 
Sam said:
I dont think the thread had a point other than "get this off my chest".
Don't worry, that's what friends are for.

It's old news now, our family has moved onto a new crisis.
My grandmother is unconcious and her lungs are filling with fluid, and my dad is going to sign the "dont recessitate" papers now... she's dying.
I'm terribly sorry to hear that. It sounds like your father is making the very painful but necessary choice. Be there for him. No matter how right it is it's a hell of a thing to have to say "Let my mother die."

Courage against a sudden attack is easier. You do what your training dictates, and it's over. Staring death in the face when you can't stop it and there's no person you can fight is much harder.
 
I am sorry to hear about your Grandma.

A lot of us are dealing with similar circumstances, it is never easy watching a loved one suffer, but it makes it that much harder when there are additional stresses in your life.

I am hoping you Grandma had a long happy life, and am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.
 
My deepest sympathies Sam. Watching a loved one slip away is by far one of the hardest things. I hope she had a long and healthy life. May she be at peace.
 
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