Was I right fighting

[Kickboxer101]

Hey everyone new guy on the block. Want more info about me I posted in the meet and greet. But anyway I've had to defend myself plenty of times over the years unfortunately since I hate fighting outside the ring or the gym and I always walk away if I can or talk my way out. There's only time I regret fighting and think that maybe I shouldn't have.

This happened after I'd been training for about 5 months maybe. But before my training I did 0 exercise and I was very fat. I'd lost a good bit from training but was still quite big . But there was this one kid who'd bullied me for years with different stuff like name calling throwing stuff at me and had punched me hard a few times. This day we were In gym class and the teachers hadn't come in yet and he was mouthing off pushing and shoving me I just turned my back and went to walk away and as I did he ran over and pantsed me. Now I was obviously embarrassed and angry since there was a lot of people including girls around and I was sick of the bullying so I pulled my shorts up turned and front kicked him in the stomach which made him fly back a bit. As he did I stepped forward telling him to back off he ran at me and through a punch which I ducked under and as I was low punched him in the stomach and came back up with a hook to the head which staggered him. Then his friends jumped me and I can't remember exactly what happened then but it was all a mess until the teacher came in and broke it up. I got In trouble since I hit first.

I do regret maybe I shouldn't have done anything after he pantsed me or maybe after the first kick I should have just gotten out of there. That's the one fight I really regret since I feel I could have avoided it like I have done other fights. I just wondered what others thought.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Were you right fighting? Probably not. However, you were a teenager and there are a lot of emotions (and pride) along with that. I did worse things (or at least as bad) to people for less 'transgressions' in middle/high school that I regret, and now, 5-10 years later, I'm actually friends with some of those people. Reached out to them in college, apologized, they apologized back, and we discovered that everyone was more mature than their teenage self

 

[Touch Of Death]

You were in the wrong purely because there were too many opponents involved, but did you situation change with those kids?

 

[Dirty Dog]

Obviously the school thought you were in the wrong. Legally, who knows? It could be argued that the pantsing (especially if it included your underwear) should be considered a sexual assault, in which case you were quite possibly justified in striking him in self defense.
Obviously fighting one vs many was not a great idea.

 

[Andrew Green]

Right is a questionable thing, which usually depends as much on the result as it does the lead up. If you had tried all other options first then it might have been the only thing left. In the "real world" harassment and panting people will get you in a lot of trouble, in school it sometimes gets largely ignored. If you where to go and pants someone as an adult you'd be pretty lucky getting off with a kick in the belly instead of a sexual assault charge.

If your parents support you and it puts an end to the bullying with no one getting seriously hurt... then I'd lean towards it was the right thing. Doesn't mean it was a good thing, just the only thing available too you.

 

[Lameman]

We live, we learn. There is no chaos, everything that happens is the only thing that could have happened. Physics demands this. We can't change our past but we can change our future. Learn and maybe next time you don't do something you'll regret.

 

[drop bear]

Yes you should have fought him.

You get preyed on if you are an easy target. So dont be.

 

[Tames D]

You were right for fighting. Zero tolerance for bullies!

 

[MAfreak]

you've done well. some kids (or even adults) need that since they won't learn the soft way.
the mentally damage done by bullies often is way worse.

 

[JR 137]

I'd like to say fighting is wrong, but from what you say, I'd have done the same thing. Or maybe I'd have fought back sooner, depending on the circumstances.

Was it right or wrong? That really depends on the outcome/aftermath. Was anyone permanently injured or killed? Did it end the bullying? Did it cause more fights, or did he and everyone else leave you alone?

The past is the past. If he's alive and not permanently injured from it, don't hold any regrets. If you're not permanently injured from any retribution, it's over and done with.

We've all done things we wish we could take back. If that's the worst thing you've ever done, you're not doing too bad IMO. And if what you're saying is true and you're not leaving out any crucial information, you did the right thing. Everyone's got to stand up for themself.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Hey everyone new guy on the block. Want more info about me I posted in the meet and greet. But anyway I've had to defend myself plenty of times over the years unfortunately since I hate fighting outside the ring or the gym and I always walk away if I can or talk my way out. There's only time I regret fighting and think that maybe I shouldn't have.

This happened after I'd been training for about 5 months maybe. But before my training I did 0 exercise and I was very fat. I'd lost a good bit from training but was still quite big . But there was this one kid who'd bullied me for years with different stuff like name calling throwing stuff at me and had punched me hard a few times. This day we were In gym class and the teachers hadn't come in yet and he was mouthing off pushing and shoving me I just turned my back and went to walk away and as I did he ran over and pantsed me. Now I was obviously embarrassed and angry since there was a lot of people including girls around and I was sick of the bullying so I pulled my shorts up turned and front kicked him in the stomach which made him fly back a bit. As he did I stepped forward telling him to back off he ran at me and through a punch which I ducked under and as I was low punched him in the stomach and came back up with a hook to the head which staggered him. Then his friends jumped me and I can't remember exactly what happened then but it was all a mess until the teacher came in and broke it up. I got In trouble since I hit first.

I do regret maybe I shouldn't have done anything after he pantsed me or maybe after the first kick I should have just gotten out of there. That's the one fight I really regret since I feel I could have avoided it like I have done other fights. I just wondered what others thought.

I guess I'm simple minded about stuff like this. If the guy doesn't bully you again, then you did the right thing. I can only assume that the non-violence approach didn't work since he bullied you for years. My guess he won't start anything with you again since the new expectations as been set. Before you didn't do anything when he bullied you, so there was no risk or punishment for bullying you. Now when he wants to bully you, he'll remember that you fight back. His boys jumped you because they though you were about to kick his butt and you probably would have. My guess is that you are a high risk target, and bullies don't like high risk targets. Bullies prefer people who don't stand up for themselves.

Yeah you got in trouble and that sucks, but one day of being in trouble with a teacher is better than years of being bullied.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Obviously the school thought you were in the wrong. Legally, who knows? It could be argued that the pantsing (especially if it included your underwear) should be considered a sexual assault, in which case you were quite possibly justified in striking him in self defense.
Obviously fighting one vs many was not a great idea.

It probably was 1vs1 by choice then 1-vs many when the boys stepped in. Once the others jumped in, the only way out is to punch your way out and create some distances. It's a good thing he didn't have me as a teacher. I teach my students that when fighting multiple people, they don't have to beat all of them. They just have to hurt one of them really bad, so that the others will think twice. If that doesn't work, then at least it's one less person to fight.

 

[ShawnP]

Hey everyone new guy on the block. Want more info about me I posted in the meet and greet. But anyway I've had to defend myself plenty of times over the years unfortunately since I hate fighting outside the ring or the gym and I always walk away if I can or talk my way out. There's only time I regret fighting and think that maybe I shouldn't have.

This happened after I'd been training for about 5 months maybe. But before my training I did 0 exercise and I was very fat. I'd lost a good bit from training but was still quite big . But there was this one kid who'd bullied me for years with different stuff like name calling throwing stuff at me and had punched me hard a few times. This day we were In gym class and the teachers hadn't come in yet and he was mouthing off pushing and shoving me I just turned my back and went to walk away and as I did he ran over and pantsed me. Now I was obviously embarrassed and angry since there was a lot of people including girls around and I was sick of the bullying so I pulled my shorts up turned and front kicked him in the stomach which made him fly back a bit. As he did I stepped forward telling him to back off he ran at me and through a punch which I ducked under and as I was low punched him in the stomach and came back up with a hook to the head which staggered him. Then his friends jumped me and I can't remember exactly what happened then but it was all a mess until the teacher came in and broke it up. I got In trouble since I hit first.

I do regret maybe I shouldn't have done anything after he pantsed me or maybe after the first kick I should have just gotten out of there. That's the one fight I really regret since I feel I could have avoided it like I have done other fights. I just wondered what others thought.

what happened in the past or whats going to happen in the future means nothing, the fact is Fighting is always wrong from both perspectives, you did have a chance to continue to walk away after you pulled your shorts up but you chose to let your emotions get the better of you and you lost control and struck him. in all fairness though he did strike first by "pantsing" you but in my eyes you chose wrong by returning to the altercation and the punishment should have been equal for both of you and who ever jumped in after the fact, IF you had no other escape or way out then yes i would say hit back and also take into consideration this happened in H.S. and is a common thing for teens, so what would you do as an adult if this happened again?
i have personally just learned this myself having an altercation with a family member and even though i was struck first i was the one arrested and am where i am now because of this, some times things are NOT fair in life and from a legal stand point hitting someone is never a good option. im sure others here have a different perspective but this is mine from experience.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

what happened in the past or whats going to happen in the future means nothing, the fact is Fighting is always wrong from both perspectives, you did have a chance to continue to walk away after you pulled your shorts up but you chose to let your emotions get the better of you and you lost control and struck him. in all fairness though he did strike first by "pantsing" you but in my eyes you chose wrong by returning to the altercation and the punishment should have been equal for both of you and who ever jumped in after the fact, IF you had no other escape or way out then yes i would say hit back and also take into consideration this happened in H.S. and is a common thing for teens, so what would you do as an adult if this happened again?
i have personally just learned this myself having an altercation with a family member and even though i was struck first i was the one arrested and am where i am now because of this, some times things are NOT fair in life and from a legal stand point hitting someone is never a good option. im sure others here have a different perspective but this is mine from experience.

I would have to disagree with you on part of this. I agree based on what was said that he was wrong (although i would have done the same), but that does not mean fighting is always wrong. If he was going to continue to be harassed by this guy if he did nothing, then stopping it was the right decision.

And legality and morality are two entirely different things-unless someone is asking what is legal, it shouldn't be part of a moral discussion. Only exception to this, IMO, is if you are bringing it up and exploring why it was made illegal, and if it applies to the specific circumstance.

 

[Tames D]

what happened in the past or whats going to happen in the future means nothing, the fact is Fighting is always wrong from both perspectives, you did have a chance to continue to walk away after you pulled your shorts up but you chose to let your emotions get the better of you and you lost control and struck him. in all fairness though he did strike first by "pantsing" you but in my eyes you chose wrong by returning to the altercation and the punishment should have been equal for both of you and who ever jumped in after the fact, IF you had no other escape or way out then yes i would say hit back and also take into consideration this happened in H.S. and is a common thing for teens, so what would you do as an adult if this happened again?
i have personally just learned this myself having an altercation with a family member and even though i was struck first i was the one arrested and am where i am now because of this, some times things are NOT fair in life and from a legal stand point hitting someone is never a good option. im sure others here have a different perspective but this is mine from experience.

You must have missed the part where he mentioned the guy has been bullying him for a few years, including physical violence. I would agree with you if this was a first time offense but enough is enough, and bullies have to be dealt with, despite the legal possibilities.

 

[JowGaWolf]

I'm curious to see if the bully will go for round 2 and attempt to bully the OP again.

 

[Phobius]

Just beware for the bullying usually do not stop because you punch/kick the bully badly.

What happens is that the bullying will become 1 vs many instead, as long as the bully has enough friends that have their status depending on him. In order to save his face then he will probably get some of his friends to harrass (sp?) you at some time or another.

Seen it happend myself firsthand. Problem for him is that your status will change by fighting back from bottom of foodchain to somewhere in the middle and those bullies will become enemies more than bullies. This could mean you get other friends instead to support you. Anyways my belief through personal experience is that it can only be for the better to show teeth every now and then.

Life in school at that age was a lot of fun, but only in hindsight. Back in those days it was times filled with anger and fear.

Violence solves nothing is good mantra, but teenagers need to fight if attacked or bullied. Otherwise the only thing that happends is that you become a person to be picked on. For those who still thinks it is wrong you may be right, but doing nothing leads to many kids ending up poorly and not ever getting to experience the joy of life.

 

[JR 137]

what happened in the past or whats going to happen in the future means nothing, the fact is Fighting is always wrong from both perspectives, you did have a chance to continue to walk away after you pulled your shorts up but you chose to let your emotions get the better of you and you lost control and struck him. in all fairness though he did strike first by "pantsing" you but in my eyes you chose wrong by returning to the altercation and the punishment should have been equal for both of you and who ever jumped in after the fact, IF you had no other escape or way out then yes i would say hit back and also take into consideration this happened in H.S. and is a common thing for teens, so what would you do as an adult if this happened again?
i have personally just learned this myself having an altercation with a family member and even though i was struck first i was the one arrested and am where i am now because of this, some times things are NOT fair in life and from a legal stand point hitting someone is never a good option. im sure others here have a different perspective but this is mine from experience.

What would I do as an adult if this happened to me, especially if it was done by someone who I didn't get along with, furthermore done by someone who's made a habit of trying to do other things in the past?

Kick his a$$. No two ways about it. I'd take whatever punishment I was dealt (after lawyering up). Call it barbaric, childish, or whatever you (not you specifically) want. There's lines that don't get crossed without consequences.

On another note, I find it quite contradictory how this stuff goes on in schools with the punishment being no more than a proverbial slap on the wrist, yet an adult at work would have been fired way before the pantsing incident. The whole "boys will be boys" thing's a bit out of control. But I guess that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.

 

[drop bear]

What would I do as an adult if this happened to me, especially if it was done by someone who I didn't get along with, furthermore done by someone who's made a habit of trying to do other things in the past?

Kick his a$$. No two ways about it. I'd take whatever punishment I was dealt (after lawyering up). Call it barbaric, childish, or whatever you (not you specifically) want. There's lines that don't get crossed without consequences.

On another note, I find it quite contradictory how this stuff goes on in schools with the punishment being no more than a proverbial slap on the wrist, yet an adult at work would have been fired way before the pantsing incident. The whole "boys will be boys" thing's a bit out of control. But I guess that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.

I mention your last point a bit when these threads come up. School is a completely different game to what we as adults deal with.

And you are effectively trapped in there as they are your major social network as well.

 

[JR 137]

I mention your last point a bit when these threads come up. School is a completely different game to what we as adults deal with.

And you are effectively trapped in there as they are your major social network as well.

I'm a school teacher. I see kids get bullied, picked on, etc. too often. Most of it is harmless, realistically speaking. But there's incidents where kids are targeted for quite some time by the same kid or groups of kids, yet are they're forced to act like nothing happened. They've got to sit in the same classes, often near each other, eat in the same cafeteria at the same time, maybe have lockers pretty close to each other, etc.

If an employee creates a hostile work environment, they're usually fired. A kid can create a hostile learning environment, sometimes for years, yet we force everyone else to shut up and deal with it.

If an adult doesn't like how the situation is being dealt with, he/she can find another place to work, get transferred, even bring suit against the company for allowing an employee to do things without recourse.

A kid doesn't have that luxury. They're court mandated to attend that school, unless the parents have the means to send them to a private school or move to another district.

Yes, kids are kids and shouldn't be kicked out of school for a mistake or three. But if we as adults wouldn't just shut up and deal with it, sometimes for months or even years, why should we expect kids to? We more or less either expect them to resolve it on their own, or hope it goes away.

I wasn't ever bullied in a noteworthy way, nor did I do it to anyone else. But when I see it several times happening to a kid, I can help but think how I'd feel if I had to shut up and deal with it at work (with no option to leave) everyday as an adult. Kids (and adults) pick on each other all the time; im not talking about that, I'm talking about when it goes too far, as in the OP. There needs to be harsher punishment for the repeat offenders than the standard sent to the principal's office, detention, or the week-long vacation referred to as suspension.

The system failed the OP, so he took matters into his own hands without going all Columbine on everyone. Good for him.