Understanding Men....
- Thread starter Sarah
- Start date
Chronuss
Senior Master
damned if we do, and damned if we don't...OY!Sarah said:Yep..you guys have it tough....but hey, you're big strong men, deal with it!
Question: Can men ever win?
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your *** and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you thump her, it's wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it's self defense.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.
If you don't, you're a fag.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.
Raewyn
Master Black Belt
Will you marry me
Really means
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the
washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means....
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed
to death before I admit I'm hurt."
I do help around the house."
Really means....
I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means....
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it."
Really means....
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless."
"I heard you."
Really means....
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said,
and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that
you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means....
"No one will ever see us alive again."
Really means
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the
washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means....
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed
to death before I admit I'm hurt."
I do help around the house."
Really means....
I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means....
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it."
Really means....
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless."
"I heard you."
Really means....
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said,
and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that
you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means....
"No one will ever see us alive again."
Raewyn
Master Black Belt
"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means....
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without
printed help."
"I broke up with her."
Really means....
"She dumped me."
"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
Really means....
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"
"We share the housework."
Really means....
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."
Really means....
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without
printed help."
"I broke up with her."
Really means....
"She dumped me."
"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
Really means....
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"
"We share the housework."
Really means....
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."
Simon Curran
2nd Black Belt
Quote : If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
It's much worse than that, we get told all the time how unromantic we are because we don't roll in every friday with a bunch of flowers/theatre tickets/dinner reservations/diamond ring etc, but when we dare to bring home any of the above, the first question on her lips is "What have you done", with "Who is she" being a close runner up...
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
It's much worse than that, we get told all the time how unromantic we are because we don't roll in every friday with a bunch of flowers/theatre tickets/dinner reservations/diamond ring etc, but when we dare to bring home any of the above, the first question on her lips is "What have you done", with "Who is she" being a close runner up...
OUMoose
Trying to find my place
SIMONCURRAN said:
Ohh... I dunno. I got a favorable reaction when I bought someone flowers last.
Now I have to figure out what the next step will be, since I can't use flowers for at least 3 or 4 gifts... Otherwise I'll just be an uncreative bastard, or thoughtless. 
Raewyn
Master Black Belt
OUMoose said:Ohh... I dunno. I got a favorable reaction when I bought someone flowers last.
You need to see her in person *wink, wink nod nod*
OP
OP
Sarah
Senior Master
*coughDiamondsCough*
OUMoose said:Ohh... I dunno. I got a favorable reaction when I bought someone flowers last.
How about...OUMoose said:Ohh... I dunno. I got a favorable reaction when I bought someone flowers last.
*knock *knock *knock..
Honey, I'm home!
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