Tournaments are a great tool. As long as they are kept in perspective, they can be a great confidence builder. I've used friendly competitions as a way to work with children who were withdrawn and anti-social. Only one of the ways, mind you. The down side is that if you allow tournaments to become the focus of your training, you might as well be teaching dancing or some such pastime. It's a tool, use it wisely. Have fun and keep an open mind. Some of my best friends and training partners are folks I meet in the ring. Nothing like a good roundhouse, giving or receiving, to start a relationship!