Thinking about starting kickboxing, need your help!

[vai91]

Then you want to learn how to fight effectively. So whatever school you join, you'll need to make sure that they spar often and teach good techniques. This will cover the physical elements of self-defense. As you are training to be physically capable to fight at the level you are working towards, then find some good self-defense books and take a valid self-defense class that has good non-physical self-defense methods.

A lot of self-defense actually happens before the the confrontation. There are 2 reasons people get harassed. 1. They either look like an easy target or 2. They look like the "big dog in the room." Jealousy is a powerful thing and is often at the root of some of the harassment that people have to deal with. Once you know what box you are in, you can do some non-physical things that will help prevent things from getting to the physical fight stage. During my periods of harassment, I was mostly in the #2 box, not because I was the "big dog in the room." but because I don't bend to the will others easily. I'm the guy that is happy to break off from a group to eat where I want to eat, even if it means that I'm going to eat alone. Cliques were never were my thing and I didn't mind being independent of thought and action. It wasn't that I was trying to show that I'm better than others, it's just that I'm naturally comfortable being with myself and not always having to be part of a group.

I'm gentle by nature and nice by nature and many people take that as a weakness so from time to time, that put me into box #1. I have had women tell me that "I'm too nice." and it make it seem like I can't protect my girlfriend. That nonsense changed when I was in my 30's. People have a lot of misconceptions about life and what it is supposed to be like.

Now that I'm in my 40's I rarely get harassed and when I do, I can diffuse the anger really quick. I definitely had a lot practice in doing that. I train to fight but to be honest at this point, I think it's going to be very unlikely that I'll be in a real street fight again, but I keep up my training just in case I need to fight or run from one. I think the biggest change for me is when I had my own family. I'm a very protective person by nature and I think my family brings that in a way that it shows on the outside for the world to see. There are some things that I don't do anymore because I'm afraid it will put my family in danger. If it was just me, then I would probably still behave in that way, knowing that if things got to a physical fight that I could do well with that, provided that there are no weapons involved meaning that my attacker had one and I didn't.

Sometimes the crap we get in life is the result of how we travel through / interact with various environments. The rest is just A-Holes who have nothing better to do then pee on another's parade.

Wow man, thank you so much. There's so much good advice here. I'm stunned by all the positive answers and people actually sharing their life experiences in order to help me deal with my issues. If only a portion of this kind of acceptance translates into a kickboxing gym, I'll be glad to never miss a training session.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Wow man, thank you so much. There's so much good advice here. I'm stunned by all the positive answers and people actually sharing their life experiences in order to help me deal with my issues. If only a portion of this kind of acceptance translates into a kickboxing gym, I'll be glad to never miss a training session.

Most gyms, youll see this support. Possibly because you have to be humble at the beginning of training, in just about every dojo/gym ive been to, the people are friendly/nice/inviting, and understanding of whatever a new persons limits/abilities are.

 

[Midnight-shadow]

Most gyms, youll see this support. Possibly because you have to be humble at the beginning of training, in just about every dojo/gym ive been to, the people are friendly/nice/inviting, and understanding of whatever a new persons limits/abilities are.

Indeed. People with inflated egos or bad attitudes don't usually last long in Martial Arts training. One of the things I've glad to have learned during my training was learning how to take a hit and not immediately collapse. My instructor is very insistent on us being able to take hits as well as give them out. Hell, in our last training session he had 6 of us in the ring, with 1 person defending against the other 5. The defender wasn't allowed to fight back, and so had to move and block as much as possible to take as little damage as possible.

Learning how to take a punch and not fall, and learning how to fall correctly are important skills both in the ring and on the street.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Most gyms, youll see this support. Possibly because you have to be humble at the beginning of training, in just about every dojo/gym ive been to, the people are friendly/nice/inviting, and understanding of whatever a new persons limits/abilities are.

For a place where people practice to punch and kick another human, one would think that it would be the other way around. Granted there are some gyms that are violent and negative, but the majority of them aren't. Then you go to places who champion only peaceful solutions and civilize behavior and you'll find some of the most hateful and negative behaviors. The behavior that we see in the U.S, congress and U.S. elections (elections in general regardless of country) would never be tolerated in many martial arts schools and gyms. Even my worst experiences with Martial Arts schools fall short of the crap that goes on in other organizations.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Wow man, thank you so much. There's so much good advice here. I'm stunned by all the positive answers and people actually sharing their life experiences in order to help me deal with my issues. If only a portion of this kind of acceptance translates into a kickboxing gym, I'll be glad to never miss a training session.

Hopefully some of the things that have been said in this thread will help you improve things. When you start training, "train honestly." By this I mean you are going to be in that gym for about an hour or maybe more, so you might as well give it your best shot with your training. This way your time is well spent and you'll benefit from the training. When things get though then push through. The same mentality that it takes to push through doubt and uncertainty will be the same mentality that is you'll use in life, when there is doubt and uncertainty. It's the same skill set, but it's applied to a non martial arts situation. People are sometimes amazed at how I "push through" at work, much of that comes from my training and "pushing through" when I feel lazy and don't want to train.

 

[Martial D]

Recently I found myself in a couple of situations where it all ended well but after I tought to myself.. damn, I would NOT now how to defend myself. I'm about 5'7 at 165-170 lbs, depending on how active I am. Usually if someone at a bar starts talking ****, I'm their choice 'cause I don't seem that much of a threath. There's a kickboxing gym opening nearby, and I'm seriously thinking to join in just to learn how to fight properly and boost my self-confidence. I did some martial arts as a kid, but now I'm just not flexible at all, have shoulder issues.. so I'm overthinking it I guess.. Should I start with training and would I benefit mentally and physically?
Do any of you have experiences where your training has helped you to be more confident in these situations where dudes just pick on you for no reasons?

Many people pick up a martial art to learn to fight. Kickboxing is a fine choice to that end.

The true benefits come in another shape and size though. Just do it, you'll probably be glad you did.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

I would NOT know how to defend myself.

The most important self-defense skill is to protect your head not to be punched. You should start from there first.

 

[drop bear]

Confidence building classes commonly hve elements of over coming fears and over conning physical barriers, just like taking kick boxing will do. it is intrinsically the same as an outward bounds confidence building course

If it was one of the pretend ma, then you may have a point about over confidence, but if your good a kick boxing your good at fighting for real, as kick boxing is real fighting and you don't have to reply on half hearted sparring to gain validation of your skills

The reverse is also a good question, if he had self confidence would he be getting harassed as much or at all, people pIck victims because they lack self confidence, there's no point insulting someone with high self esteem, they won't care and if they don't care, it's not an insult

And if he is too busy training and getting his life on track there should be less drinking with the sort of scumbags who will pick on people.