You wrote that you lost an uncle 20 years after his service in Vietnam on this thread or the other. Condolences, it is always difficult to lose someone. One of the means of leading some to treatment, of giving them perspective on their disorders or injuries is by showing them that by continuing to re-suffer the trauma, the guilt, the experience, is to allow a continuing chance for them to lose and for the bad guys or bad situation to win. They obviously won the battle, now to win the rest of the war. When a military member, law enforcement officer, or civilian kill themselves (either suicide or other long term self destructive behavior) because of trauma suffered in the past they allow that trauma to win. Often a step back allows the lessons the space needed to learn them. You and your family long ago lost your uncle yet you continue to bring him up as a tool to focus your rage and contempt at the system, rage and contempt at politics, rage and contempt at military conflicts, and rage and contempt at people who hold different views than yours, such as in these discussions. Perhaps it is time to step back from trying to convince the world it is wrong and look to the rage and contempt you have within? It is a funny thing, but, by working within, by first healing ourselves, this practice often leads to big positive changes in our sphere of influences. Bigger and more positive changes than the howling at the moon and impotently charging windmills are able to. The howling and ranting is not only self destructive, but is unhealthy for those around.
Some steps a person might take after losing a loved one. Forgive the system while trying to make it a better system. Forgive the person who left. Forgive family and friends who did not do as much as possible to help the person in need. Forgive themselves for the guilt and joy of surviving while others did not, for perhaps not being there or doing enough or not being able to say good-bye. And like the holocaust survivors heal up, and then say nope, never again. A person cannot stop bad things from happening to themselves or loved ones. The only thing they can completely control is how the respond to the bad things. Becoming a victim, increasing the damage of the trauma, getting caught up in the guilt, reliving the trauma even after it has passed, no good comes from this.
Becoming a better stronger person, not in spite of the trauma suffered, but, because of it. Now that is inspirational living.