Tactifool

Bill Mattocks said:
And I got this on my Facebook this morning. Everything is tactical...

Monthly Tactical Survival Gear Box Subscription
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Wow. I went to that website, how in the hell did you fall into their mailing list, you poor bastard?

If I understand this properly, they send you a monthly shipment of "tactical gear" that they select for you. I guess they decide what it is that you need? From the website, "curated tactical oriented items delivered to your door monthly".

Yes, "curated".

Better be careful, you might end up with a repeating monthly shipment of tactical pens, if that is all they have on hand at shipment time.

This is the kind of thing that to me, just screams "PARANOID!!!!!"
 
Do they have body worn morters? Would be a decent addition to the body worn cameras I used wear.
 
Transk53 said:
Do they have body worn morters? Would be a decent addition to the body worn cameras I used wear.
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How about your very own suit of reactive armor?

Of course it depends on the subscription option that you chose. If you are a cheap bastard and go with the bottom choice for under $30 per month, then your monthly box of goodies is going to reflect that price point. I see a future filled with lot of black flashlights, MREs, water purification tablets, chemical glow sticks and...tactical pens.

Makes you wonder if they keep track of what they have already sent you so you don't just keep getting the same things over and over. They did say "curated" after all.
 
Flying Crane said:
Wait a minute...did you want the cap in pink, with the lettering in gold, or a black cap with pink lettering??
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I live in Brighton, so I reckon I could get you quite a few customers for pink caps, but maybe add some pink tactical tassels.
 
JowGaWolf said:
:nailbiting:

Keep playing around and someone is really going to get one of these things lol.
Click to expand...
I talked with my supplier and he won't do pink. No way. Not pink. Gold is a noble metal and a noble color, so its gold. I asked if he would do anything else. He scratched at his beard for a moment and then said, ok, platinum. That's a noble metal too. And silver. He will do gold, or platinum, or silver.

But then he caught sight of a tattoo on his sleeve, and it reminded him of something, and he added, emerald green. Yeah, emerald green. Because it reminds him of ill-gotten gains and smugglers from Columbia, and that speaks to him of danger. So, emerald green is in.

So I pressed him on it, what about sapphire blue and ruby red? He said, well, ok diamond. But that's not a color, i reminded him. Diamonds are sparkly, but they are clear. And it will look like some kind of Malibu Barbie Rhinestone crap and he agreed. So diamond is out. But ruby red and sapphire blue are in, for the same reason as emerald green. I didn't point out that Columbia isn't known for ruby and sapphire. I didn't want to lose ground.

I asked about grey. What? He said, you mean like puffy clouds? No, how about Battleship Grey? That's good, he said. He'll do it. Battleships are Manly and speak of wholesale violence on a massive scale so that is in.

He tucked in his BDUs at this point and I went on. People like blue. What else in blue, can you do for me? WELL NOT BABY BLUE, FOR CRISSAKE!! He said. Oh no, certainly not. How about Gun Blue? Well that's more like black he replied, as he kicked at the dirt with his Doc Martins. You'll do it? Yeah, ok. Navy Blue is in, for reasons that should be obvious.

Great, we are making progress. Here's the thing, he said. It's gotta be "tactical" ya know? That's Manly and suggests violence, and possibly danger and sneaking about in the dark or in the woods or in the sewers and lots of gear and such.

He thumbed the safety on his AR-15 for a moment before going on. The colors gotta support the theme, "Tactical". So things like pink and mauve and lilac and auburn are no good! They don't support the theme.

How about white? White stitching on a black hat? That would look sharp! But he says, not Lily White! Geezuz man!

I said oh, by no means, not Lily White. I was thinking, maybe BONE WHITE. He liked it. It made the list. I had noticed the outline of a skull and crossed bones stenciled on the side of his sparkling clean humvee and knew that one would make the list..

Now, what about reds? We've got ruby red. He says, well no Cherry red, or Carmine, or Salmon, or Rosy. Those are out! Ok, but what about...Blood Red...? He liked it. Good reference to violence there, DEFINITELY tactical. And he said Fire Engine Red is good too, very Manly, that one is.

How about green? Olive drab? Sure, no problem. But not Seafoam, for crying out loud! And no Yellow-Green, that's like puke green. No, certainly. How about Jade?

Hmmm....ok, jade is in, that's all Eastern and Mysterious and crap, so it's in.

So those are the options, and if you can come up with another color that suggests manliness or violence or gadgetry, he might consider it.

I've done all I can here.
 
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Flying Crane said:
I talked with my supplier and he won't do pink. No way. Not pink. Gold is a noble metal and a noble color, so its gold. I asked if he would do anything else. He scratched at his beard for a moment and then said, ok, platinum. That's a noble metal too. And silver. He will do gold, or platinum, or silver.

But then he caught sight of a tattoo on his sleeve, and it reminded him of something, and he added, emerald green. Yeah, emerald green. Because it reminds him of ill-gotten gains and smugglers from Columbia, and that speaks to him of danger. So, emerald green is in.

So I pressed him on it, what about sapphire blue and ruby red? He said, well, ok diamond. But that's not a color, i reminded him. Diamonds are sparkly, but they are clear. And it will look like some kind of Malibu Barbie Rhinestone crap and he agreed. So diamond is out. But ruby red and sapphire blue are in, for the same reason as emerald green. I didn't point out that Columbia isn't known for ruby and sapphire. I didn't want to lose ground.

I asked about grey. What? He said, you mean like puffy clouds? No, how about Battleship Grey? That's good, he said. He'll do it. Battleships are Manly and speak of wholesale violence on a massive scale so that is in.

He tucked in his BDUs at this point and I went on. People like blue. What else in blue, can you do for me? WELL NOT BABY BLUE, FOR CRISSAKE!! He said. Oh no, certainly not. How about Gun Blue? Well that's more like black he replied, as he kicked at the dirt with his Doc Martins. You'll do it? Yeah, ok. Navy Blue is in, for reasons that should be obvious.

Great, we are making progress. Here's the thing, he said. It's gotta be "tactical" ya know? That's Manly and suggests violence, and possibly danger and sneaking about in the dark or in the woods or in the sewers and lots of gear and such.

He thumbed the safety on his AR-15 for a moment before going on. The colors gotta support the theme, "Tactical". So things like pink and mauve and lilac and auburn are no good! They don't support the theme.

How about white? White stitching on a black hat? That would look sharp! But he says, not Lily White! Geezuz man!

I said oh, by no means, not Lily White. I was thinking, maybe BONE WHITE. He liked it. It made the list. I had noticed the outline of a skull and crossed bones stenciled on the side of his sparkling clean humvee and knew that one would make the list..

Now, what about reds? We've got ruby red. He says, well no Cherry red, or Carmine, or Salmon, or Rosy. Those are out! Ok, but what about...Blood Red...? He liked it. Good reference to violence there, DEFINITELY tactical. And he said Fire Engine Red is good too, very Manly, that one is.

How about green? Olive drab? Sure, no problem. But not Seafoam, for crying out loud! And no Yellow-Green, that's like puke green. No, certainly. How about Jade?

Hmmm....ok, jade is in, that's all Eastern and Mysterious and crap, so it's in.

So those are the options, and if you can come up with another color that suggests manliness or violence or gadgetry, he might consider it.

I've done all I can here.
Click to expand...
There is something deeply wrong with martial artists lol.
 
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