So your meeting a woman on a first date.

[Chrisinmd]

So your meeting a woman on a first date. You have never meant them before in person. Lets say you were matched online and traded a few messages before meeting for this first date.

Your meeting at a reastruant / coffee place or bar. You want to set in a booth. Do you set next to the woman or across from her? I heard a dating advice expert suggest you always set beside the woman. He said setting across from someone is a confrontational position and the table creates a barrier between the both of you. He suggested setting next to the woman is better so its easier to make physical contact with the woman and their is no physical barrier between the both of you.

So in your dating experience have you set across or next to the woman on a first date? Which do you think makes more sense and would lead to a better date?

 

[Dirty Dog]

Across. What you're describing would be a bit creepy on a first date, ESPECIALLY when it's the first time you even meet. I sit across from Sue even now. Because I can look her in the eye while we talk. And I can hold her hand easily despite the table. If I can't, it's because she doesn't want me to, and I better figure out what I did wrong really quick.

 

[Buka]

Yes, sitting beside her on a first date is a creep move and then some.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Absolutely across. That'll just freak her out and result in a quick end to the date.

 

[Chrisinmd]

Absolutely across. That'll just freak her out and result in a quick end to the date.

That was what I thought as well. It would be uncomfortable and freak her out.

Anyway this guy on this youtube video suggests it for a first date. Its a bit long but starting at the 2 min mark until 3 minute mark is where he says you should be beside her on the first date. How To Have A Successful First Date | CRP - YouTube

Is this guy just some A hole who treats women like crap or he seems to think this is the way "alpha" men act on a first date?

 

[isshinryuronin]

OK, I'll share my secret techniques with you guys...

When set at a table, I agree across is the right move. But a booth, especially a large curved one - that provides options for both parties. The lady sits at the end of the booth and there's no space to seat yourself next to her, that could be a sign that should be noted.

However, if she slides in enough for you to park yourself next to her, I'd go for it, taking it as an invitation and a very good sign. She can always slide a little further down if uncomfortable to adjust the maai (engagement distance). As the evening progresses, you can experiment with closing the distance a little and gauge her reaction. If she ends up four feet away, don't bother with dessert.

The distance she allows tells a lot about her perception of you without wasting words or time. I would never get her boxed in, though. Threatening, controlling, and inconsiderate. She should be able to adjust to her comfort level.

Anyway, I worked exactly this way on a first date (we talked on the phone a couple of times prior), and by the time we got thru half the meal, our legs were touching side by side. So much info exchanged, simply from this dance of maai. So, I'd recommend going for the booth.

By the way, how'd that date work out? We just had our 25th wedding anniversary.

 

[dvcochran]

That was what I thought as well. It would be uncomfortable and freak her out.

Anyway this guy on this youtube video suggests it for a first date. Its a bit long but starting at the 2 min mark until 3 minute mark is where he says you should be beside her on the first date. How To Have A Successful First Date | CRP - YouTube

Is this guy just some A hole who treats women like crap or he seems to think this is the way "alpha" men act on a first date?

Fully agree with the other posts.

I would also add putting too much stock into one guys "dating advice" on youtube is a very bad idea. General rules apply I think but this can also be a very regional thing.
I know it is clichet but be yourself; who else would you want your date to meet? And what better way to learn if you need to make changes in yourself?

It has been a Long time since I dated (other than my wife) but I liked setting at a small table with chairs. Always seemed a bit more personal and intimate to me.

 

[Tez3]

Oh good grief.

Don't choose a booth.
Don't sit next to your date.
Don't listen to men telling you what a woman wants or likes.
Don't post up asking for advice and certainly don't comment on the date.


ASK A WOMAN YOU TRUST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Honestly, this is not the place to plot out how to handle a date, it's creepy.

 

[dvcochran]

Oh good grief.

Don't choose a booth.
Don't sit next to your date.
Don't listen to men telling you what a woman wants or likes.
Don't post up asking for advice and certainly don't comment on the date.


ASK A WOMAN YOU TRUST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Honestly, this is not the place to plot out how to handle a date, it's creepy.

If I could have tagged agree and funny twice I would have.

 

[Tez3]

That was what I thought as well. It would be uncomfortable and freak her out.

Anyway this guy on this youtube video suggests it for a first date. Its a bit long but starting at the 2 min mark until 3 minute mark is where he says you should be beside her on the first date. How To Have A Successful First Date | CRP - YouTube

Is this guy just some A hole who treats women like crap or he seems to think this is the way "alpha" men act on a first date?

Absolutely horrible video. Horrible man.

 

[jobo]

So your meeting a woman on a first date. You have never meant them before in person. Lets say you were matched online and traded a few messages before meeting for this first date.

Your meeting at a reastruant / coffee place or bar. You want to set in a booth. Do you set next to the woman or across from her? I heard a dating advice expert suggest you always set beside the woman. He said setting across from someone is a confrontational position and the table creates a barrier between the both of you. He suggested setting next to the woman is better so its easier to make physical contact with the woman and their is no physical barrier between the both of you.

So in your dating experience have you set across or next to the woman on a first date? Which do you think makes more sense and would lead to a better date?

your over analysing,( or rather the giy your takibg advice from is,), , youve not met before,it is an interview, interviews should nt,be confrontational, people are are generaly more comfy with stangers in front of them,
showing pictures on phone, is a good transition from one to the other, as is its so noisy i cant hear you,

if this appears to make them uncomfortable, put your coat on and go home, your wasteing your time

 

[isshinryuronin]

Don't listen to men telling you what a woman wants or likes.

Dear Tez,

My wife is constantly telling me what I want. What should I do?

Thanks,
Lost in Las Vegas


100% true story: For the past month my wife has been constantly telling me I should get a new recliner. Every time I tell her I LIKE my old beat up one. The new one is being delivered today.

 

[Chrisinmd]

Oh good grief.

Don't choose a booth.
Don't sit next to your date.
Don't listen to men telling you what a woman wants or likes.
Don't post up asking for advice and certainly don't comment on the date.


ASK A WOMAN YOU TRUST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Honestly, this is not the place to plot out how to handle a date, it's creepy.

This is the general discussion forum on this site so you can discuss anything. Not just boxing or BJJ!

And I have been on many dates before. Some ended great and some not so great. I wasan't asking for personal dating advice. I was just curious about the concept of where you set should on a date and everyone else experiences

 

[Chrisinmd]

Absolutely horrible video. Horrible man.

So your saying this is not a good idea to implement this guys suggestions word for word? Dam I was looking forward to giving it a try! I figure the date would either last about 30 seconds when I piss her off by setting next to her and putting my hands all over her or end up as a awesome one night stand! lol

 

[jobo]

So your saying this is not a good idea to implement this guys suggestions word for word? Dam I was looking forward to giving it a try! I figure the date would either last about 30 seconds when I piss her off by setting next to her and putting my hands all over her or end up as a awesome one night stand! lol

yes that is almost certainly the two most likely outcomes, what % chance of each is impossible to know, but seem as a fair number of first night sexual encounters take place is far from zero.

i remmber as a teen, askibg an older colleague, advice on a young lady who was comming to stay, he said go for it first night, if it comes off you have a week to enjoy it, if it doesnt your not wastibg all week to come up frustrated after 7 days,

he was infact correct, best week of my life, so far

 

[Tez3]

This is the general discussion forum on this site so you can discuss anything. Not just boxing or BJJ!

And I have been on many dates before. Some ended great and some not so great. I wasan't asking for personal dating advice. I was just curious about the concept of where you set should on a date and everyone else experiences

You missed the point mate. You don't post that on any type of site, keep it private. Why? Because it makes you look like a right numpty.

Of course you've been on lots of dates.

 

[Tez3]

Dear Tez,

My wife is constantly telling me what I want. What should I do?

Thanks,
Lost in Las Vegas


100% true story: For the past month my wife has been constantly telling me I should get a new recliner. Every time I tell her I LIKE my old beat up one. The new one is being delivered today.

You are right of course, and of course your wife is right.

 

[Tez3]

It looks like having a shag is the sole point of some people's date. ' well I bought you dinner, you owe me sex'. Ugh. That's the mindset of boys (who don't actually know what good sex is) funnily enough some prefer men.

 

[jobo]

It looks like having a shag is the sole point of some people's date. ' well I bought you dinner, you owe me sex'. Ugh. That's the mindset of boys (who don't actually know what good sex is) funnily enough some prefer men.

your right of course, some blokes do consider a dinner mean sex, but then there are girl that wont do sex unless they are bought dinner ( there a very good reason why romantic dingers are a thing)and other that will for a bag of snacks,

its largely nonsence, women generaly are as keen on sex as blokes, perhaps more choosy about which bloke, but thats why alcohol was invented,

 

[Gerry Seymour]

So your meeting a woman on a first date. You have never meant them before in person. Lets say you were matched online and traded a few messages before meeting for this first date.

Your meeting at a reastruant / coffee place or bar. You want to set in a booth. Do you set next to the woman or across from her? I heard a dating advice expert suggest you always set beside the woman. He said setting across from someone is a confrontational position and the table creates a barrier between the both of you. He suggested setting next to the woman is better so its easier to make physical contact with the woman and their is no physical barrier between the both of you.

So in your dating experience have you set across or next to the woman on a first date? Which do you think makes more sense and would lead to a better date?

I think sitting right next to someone you just met is pretty awkward, and would seem creepy in a booth (where there's a whole empty side). At a table, where "beside" is around a corner (or a curve), it's probably acceptably intimate. At a booth, across makes it easier to talk and look at each other.