Sex offenders getting younger, more violent
- Thread starter shesulsa
- Start date
Right off the top of my head; my first answer is lack of solid good family values at the home. From the article:
The parents set the tone of values in the home for their children to follow. If there's none then what is the child going to go on?
Again from the article:
From the article again:
heh, a rose by any other name...
During my "internship" at a sexual abuse treatment center I learned that many of the offenders were in denial about how their crimes would affect their victims in later years. While true many victims do go on to lead normal lives for years on end, something causes them to act out in one form or another. Drinking, drugs, bizarre sexual behavior (sometimes with a consenting spouse) or any number of behavior traits that are not among the "norm".
Others act out much sooner and the result is a "sexually aggressive child". The child is of course trying to figure out what the hell happened? WHY are they feeling this way?... Mainly because they haven't "told" due to the secrecy vows taken during the act... and they are definitely there. So the child "acts out". Trying to emulate the same feelings the adult "must've" been feeling when they were doing it to them. Trying to understand. Hmm, he/she was smiling, laughing at times... it must've been fun for them... how much fun could it be I wonder? So little Billy or Sally gets the focus of their attention... and that adult/child pattern is repeated because of the sense of power one gets from dominating the smaller, weaker soon-to-be victim.
Mommy finds out or Daddy finds out! Lots of yelling, screaming, crying, threats, blaming, lots and lots of unanswered questions. Then the key words... "Don't ever-ever tell anyone about this... do you understand? You'll get us into a lot of trouble! Do you want Daddy/(older-brother) Johnny to go to jail? Then don't ever talk about this!" The cycle is repeated over and over until someone in authority finds out about it.
This is only one of a dozen different scenarios and again it's starts in the home. The offense could've taken place anywhere; school, after-school en route home, during a camping or vacation trip... anywhere at any time.
Parents must be vigilant and learn how to watch for signs of abuse however small. It's THEIR responsibility for their child's welfare in all regards to their growth, mental, physical and spiritual. Other adults should be held accountable as well. Neighbors, teachers, spiritual leaders, etc. They see something wrong they should let the parent know and then it's back on the parent to DO something about it. To break the secret and break the cycle of abuse.
Where do these juveniles live? At home of course... so what are they learning at home? That it's okay to "play doctor?" with their younger/older siblings? Who's minding the kids? Who's making sure the kids are not exposed too young to images revolving around sex and violence? Who is making sure that parent blocks are on the kid's computer, that (adult-aged) labeled video games aren't falling into their hands? Who's sitting down with them with some quality and bonding time(s) to make sure they're not going to be tempted by the rampant images and goings on in our society?
The parents set the tone of values in the home for their children to follow. If there's none then what is the child going to go on?
Again from the article:
Define "true pedophiles" for me here? Someone having inappropriate sexual relations (by any definition) with a minor? Does that "someone" have to be an adult (over 18) to qualify? Is it O.K. for two 8 year olds (any sex combo) to be "curious" and "experiment"? That's normal? When does that behavior become "too far?" When it's repeated? How often?
From the article again:
That fact is horrendous indeed and it's even more horrible to realize that a very large percentage of molestations do not get reported. Because it's a secret. A family secret. A shameful act that the wife and husband agree not to talk about because one or the other could be sent to jail and that would wreak havoc on their home, work, church and other society functions. Don't talk about it and definitely don't get treatment because they know the law and therapist/psychologists/psychiatrists are bound to report the crime to the authorities. "No, we'll handle this on our own" and the best way to handle it is to not talk about it. Sure... because you got no answers and lots of fragile promises to the kids on how it will nevvverrr happen again.
heh, a rose by any other name... During my "internship" at a sexual abuse treatment center I learned that many of the offenders were in denial about how their crimes would affect their victims in later years. While true many victims do go on to lead normal lives for years on end, something causes them to act out in one form or another. Drinking, drugs, bizarre sexual behavior (sometimes with a consenting spouse) or any number of behavior traits that are not among the "norm".
Others act out much sooner and the result is a "sexually aggressive child". The child is of course trying to figure out what the hell happened? WHY are they feeling this way?... Mainly because they haven't "told" due to the secrecy vows taken during the act... and they are definitely there. So the child "acts out". Trying to emulate the same feelings the adult "must've" been feeling when they were doing it to them. Trying to understand. Hmm, he/she was smiling, laughing at times... it must've been fun for them... how much fun could it be I wonder? So little Billy or Sally gets the focus of their attention... and that adult/child pattern is repeated because of the sense of power one gets from dominating the smaller, weaker soon-to-be victim.
Mommy finds out or Daddy finds out! Lots of yelling, screaming, crying, threats, blaming, lots and lots of unanswered questions. Then the key words... "Don't ever-ever tell anyone about this... do you understand? You'll get us into a lot of trouble! Do you want Daddy/(older-brother) Johnny to go to jail? Then don't ever talk about this!" The cycle is repeated over and over until someone in authority finds out about it.
This is only one of a dozen different scenarios and again it's starts in the home. The offense could've taken place anywhere; school, after-school en route home, during a camping or vacation trip... anywhere at any time.
Parents must be vigilant and learn how to watch for signs of abuse however small. It's THEIR responsibility for their child's welfare in all regards to their growth, mental, physical and spiritual. Other adults should be held accountable as well. Neighbors, teachers, spiritual leaders, etc. They see something wrong they should let the parent know and then it's back on the parent to DO something about it. To break the secret and break the cycle of abuse.
Even more than rape, child abuse - and especially child sexual abuse - is an issue that has been swept under the rug for too many years, and which, in addition, tends to be self-perpetuating. In addition, too many people grew up in families in which such behavior was not only condoned, but was considered to be normal; some years ago, I had a brother and sister in my classes who were (thankfully) removed from the home - the grandmother had perpetrated on the boy (and told him that was how all boys got their "first experience" in how to please women), and the boy turned around and perpetrated on his sister. Both students were in middle school at the time.
Again, even more than rape, child abuse - and especially child sexual abuse - is horribly underreported, because too many children are too scared, or too untrusting of adults, or simply don't know what's happening because they've been told it's normal, or it's their fault for being seductive, or some other reason - and therefore the cycle perpetuates itself.
There is a stigma in sex crimes which attaches to the victim in a way that makes underreporting understandable (think about the stigma that used to be attached to being a bastard, for example), and this also adds to the underreporting. Kids are told that they asked for the abuse; women are told that they invited rape; the shame involved in such a victim also adds to the underreporting. Until society as a whole accepts that the victim is not at fault, and should not be blamed, stigmatized, or otherwise punished for being on the receiving end of a crime, child sexual assualt will continue to occur, and it will be that much harder to catch the perpetrators and stop them, and to treat the victims so that they don't continue the cycle.
Again, even more than rape, child abuse - and especially child sexual abuse - is horribly underreported, because too many children are too scared, or too untrusting of adults, or simply don't know what's happening because they've been told it's normal, or it's their fault for being seductive, or some other reason - and therefore the cycle perpetuates itself.
There is a stigma in sex crimes which attaches to the victim in a way that makes underreporting understandable (think about the stigma that used to be attached to being a bastard, for example), and this also adds to the underreporting. Kids are told that they asked for the abuse; women are told that they invited rape; the shame involved in such a victim also adds to the underreporting. Until society as a whole accepts that the victim is not at fault, and should not be blamed, stigmatized, or otherwise punished for being on the receiving end of a crime, child sexual assualt will continue to occur, and it will be that much harder to catch the perpetrators and stop them, and to treat the victims so that they don't continue the cycle.
Exactly. It's the perp's way of absolving guilt upon themselves by themselves. They minimize, justify, rationalize the whole affair in their minds and will do and say anything to absolve themselves of most if not all the guilt. They'll tell the (child) victim all sorts of things and it's another reason why the child-perp acts out as well.
ArmorOfGod
Senior Master
As for addressing the violence and sex issue, when I was younger, the height of seeing sex was a copy of Playboy (topless women). Look at what the preteens of today are seeing on the internet. The images they are seeing are not even sexual; they are just people seeing how far they can go and call it sex. The things that I have come across on the internet are just grotesque and bizarre, not sexual.
Just imagine: the generation coming up are not turned on by simple nudity (as I was as a teen), but by violence and graphic imagery posing as sex. What they consider "typical sex" is what I consider torture and perversion.
What will it take to turn this upcoming generation on?
AoG
Just imagine: the generation coming up are not turned on by simple nudity (as I was as a teen), but by violence and graphic imagery posing as sex. What they consider "typical sex" is what I consider torture and perversion.
What will it take to turn this upcoming generation on?
AoG
Well basically from my understanding, every single sexual perversion has been portrayed in photos, video and text (stories) on the net. So as far as coming up with something new... the next generation will be hard-pressed I think.
Steel Tiger
Senior Master
I think it is not so much a problem of what the next generation will come up with as it is a problem of what is becoming the norm. It seems these days that rather extreme fetishes are moving from the abhorent fringe of sexual activity to a more accepted position. More radical activities are becoming the norm. As a result certain activites, be they rape or torture or whatever, are being seen as the sort of sexual activity normal people engage in. It seems further exacerbated by some of the films we are seeing these days. Films that present psycho-sexual torture and murder as some form of entertainment.
Agreed, films like Hostel and Wolf Creek and new installments of the Saw series (though the first one was a brilliant psychological thriller with little or no sexual overtones). These films are far more graphic and gorier than the past Friday the 13th or Halloween series. Pushing it up further notches as it were with each decade.
The coming of age films are far more blatantly obvious as well. American Pie series for example.
We as a society have the power to voice objections to these types of films coming out of Hollywood and non-hollywood film makers. But they're being made, sold and stuck on the video shelves at Blockbuster for nearly anyone to rent. Who's to stop a kid from watching them while mom-dad are gone? Older brother/sister has them... sooo, it's like "here if you want to watch this, fine...just get out of my face will ya?"
I also wonder how much of it is cause of reporting now too. I read stories all the time that seem to mention little Jill being sexually attacked by little neighbor boy Johnny, but all jill's mom and dad did (if they even found out) was stop Johnny from coming over the play. Now days I think parents are MUCH more likely to report little Johnny to the cops and with all the shcool programs about good touch and bad touch and such, I wonder if kids are more likely to speak up when the aggressor is another child who presumably hasn't threatened them in the same manner an adult abuser would about speaking up. I am not sure if that explains the rise in violence too, but might be a contributing factor to the rise in reported incidents.
Oh sure... Jill's Mom and Dad would be more than happy to report Johnny and do so in a heartbeat... because Johnny isn't THEIR kid. But if Johnny was Jill's brother... the chances would go down dramatically that Johnny gets nothing more than a month's grounding (because parents don't whip/spank their children anymore do they
)and yelled at and agonized over and then it's shushed and filed away in the family's skeleton's closet. And that is the majority of the unreported cases.
An abuse by the definition I was given amounts to any type of sexual contact, exposure by verbal and/or visual with the intent to arouse or stimulate arousal. So even if Johnny walks casually out of the bathroom from a shower and sees Jill in the hall way and opens the towel that's around his waist to show Jill his genitals (and not in a Woo-Woo way either), calling her attention to them; that's considered (in some states) sexually abusing Jill. But if Johnny was simply doing it to be an annoying brother to provoke a disgusted reaction out of his sister then that's different. He should be reprimanded (if caught) but it's not abuse... it all lies with intent.
It's a sticky and parents should learn what the laws are and learn to watch for signs of abuse and most importantly report it...even if it's within the family. Treatment for this (NON DRUG treatments) can do wonders in helping to break the cycle of abuse. But the fear of public/professional recrimination, jail, the shame and all that... keeps it a family secret and the kids not knowing what to do with these weird messed up feelings inside... act out and on other kids, often times their sibs.
