Sex Abuse A Dirty Secrete In Tae Kwon Do

[Master Dan]

To be fair sex abuse is not limited to any single Art but it would seem alot of public ranting is going on by past Olympic athletes and others about abuses going on for many years?

With out prejudging the names that are currently being thrown around there has been a problem between men and women especially instructors, Masters and coaches with impressionalbe and vulnerable young female students or athletes.

Going back 4 decades there is a core value systems that was brought here that was taught to young impressionable men by the original masters in speach as well as deed. The value that women are of less value and a comodity to be used. I rember being told bragging about interviewing hundreds of women for the honor of being the wife and she was to work for him. Also telling us to treat your wife like a dog. Masters sleeping with every student or mothers of students they possibly could.

This has reaped a horible benefit over the years not only in the women that have been used or misstreated but to the lives of the young boys that were taught such things ending in life long divorces and suicide.

Many have changed and as several Asian countries became more financially afluent thier women after comming to the knowledge of Western culture refused to be treated as such but old habits die hard.

There is a great hypocrsy in MA to do as I say and not as I do and ,to look the other way or its ok the ends justifies means with money and political power being more important than dedication and service to community and country.

I think not only it needs to be made public but conduct and proceedures similar to the public schools and teaching staff to protect the public will come wether we like it or not.

The point to teaching Taekwondo or any MA is not punches and kicks or winning a medal at all costs but to be a happy healthy well balanced person a benefit not only to his own family but to others as well.

I hope those in power and controling others if guilty will be found out and punished.

 

[Gorilla]

As the father of Female TKD athlete this problem! I keep a very close Eye on My 16 Year Old Daughter! If someone ever laid a hand on her inappropriately. My actions would be swift and decisive. Parents need to be involved in their kids lives. To many hand over their daughters because they are promised Olympic Gold! It is sad what is going on in our sport and I hope that if any of it is true we see some people behind bars! Unfortunately it seems that the power structure is doing little to address these issues.

Shameful

 

[granfire]

well, 40 years ago pretty much all aspects of society still hung on to that ideology.
Some have cling t it a bit longer than others, heck, some still do and sadly ind plenty of women that will obey.

As parent you pick instructors you can tust with the well being of your child.
Of course, one has to keep an open mind and not be falling for snow jobs (we know the kin: he/she is such a good person, pillar of the community, church going, etc, perfect covers) and actually believe when people tell us who thay are.

So in turn, I would not patronize an establishment if the provider was openly a jerk.

 

[Master Dan]

As the father of Female TKD athlete this problem! I keep a very close Eye on My 16 Year Old Daughter! If someone ever laid a hand on her inappropriately. My actions would be swift and decisive. Parents need to be involved in their kids lives. To many hand over their daughters because they are promised Olympic Gold! It is sad what is going on in our sport and I hope that if any of it is true we see some people behind bars! Unfortunately it seems that the power structure is doing little to address these issues.

Shameful

One of the problems with change is the resistance by those who have guilt in the past or who wish to continue unaceptable behavior in future.
This problem is not just underage abuse but what looks like concenting adults but just the same as a doctor, lawyer or therapist it is an ethical conflict of interest to be involved with a patient, client or student.

Now there are many out there who have met and married as a result of the relationship that is different we are talking about undue presure to give or recieve unwanted sexual favors even concenting if it is to the detriment of the adult student should not be done.

While the Jerry Springer show may be entertaining to some I would hope our wish to make changes does not turn into a circus act?

 

[terryl965]

granfire one problem with Olympic TKD is you do not get to pick the coaches, USAT does and that is where some of the blame is coming from. They are the ones that the female athletes are saying are inapprobiate with them. I do not know what is true or what is not but I know some of these young ladys for sometime and they seem to be telling the truth and USAT and the USOC are doing not much to put a stop to it or even investigate it.

I agre with Gorilla anybody ever lays their hands on his doughter and I was present I would simply help them to there grave early. I feel for all these young ladys and what they seem to have to go though at times and I am hoping this is really taken care of and those that are found guilty are sent to jail for a long long time.

P.S. like I said I donot know what is or is not but I do know we have to many complaints to not be investigating the complaints.

 

[granfire]

granfire one problem with Olympic TKD is you do not get to pick the coaches, USAT does and that is where some of the blame is coming from. They are the ones that the female athletes are saying are inapprobiate with them. I do not know what is true or what is not but I know some of these young ladys for sometime and they seem to be telling the truth and USAT and the USOC are doing not much to put a stop to it or even investigate it.

I agre with Gorilla anybody ever lays their hands on his doughter and I was present I would simply help them to there grave early. I feel for all these young ladys and what they seem to have to go though at times and I am hoping this is really taken care of and those that are found guilty are sent to jail for a long long time.

P.S. like I said I donot know what is or is not but I do know we have to many complaints to not be investigating the complaints.

Well, I was not so much talking in strictly TKD terms.
The thing is, these transgretions are hardly ever 'secrets'. They are more like the elephant in the middle of the room, everybody sees it but nobody talks about it.

And again, it is the parent's obligation to be the squeaky wheel, to make waves. To be on top of it.
I think even if your kid is not in line for a spot, as decent human being you cannot look the other way and let things go in the same old way.

(and I do agree, if my kid had been in the situation, there would be one 'coach' less to worry about)

 

[Balrog]

One of the issues that we as instructors (and it does not matter what the discipline is) face on a daily basis is the change in family structure. And that change is NOT a good thing.

When I look at my junior student mix, I see probably 3/4 of them are from broken homes. The dad is usually still in the picture, but let's face it: seeing your dad on Wednesday evening for dinner, every other weekend, and alternating times on major holidays is absolutely not the same as having your dad there 24/7. And a lot of these kids start looking to male TKD instructors as father substitutes. We fit the bill: male authority figure who spends time with the kid, cares about them, teaches them good things and praises them when they do well. And yes, it happens the other way as well, but in the majority of the cases, the mom has primary custody, so I'll address it from that aspect.

We have to tread on eggshells with these kids. We have to "love" them as our students but keep them at arm's length. We have to lead by example constantly because they have put us on that pedestal. But when you look at any large group of people, such as the group "martial arts instructors", they're going to fit a bell curve of some sort and there are always going to be those who fit at the left side. They are the ones who will take advantage of the kids and seduce them or bully them or whatever, and they are the ones who get the lion's share of the publicity when that happens. And it smears us all with that giant tar brush.

Every instructor should attend a Youth Protection training seminar of some sort. The Boy Scouts have an excellent one and your local council will be glad to help you arrange to take the course. I believe they even have an online version. Follow their guidelines and you won't have problems.

And as far as the guys on the left side of the bell curve: IMNSHO, the faster we find them out and publicly eviscerate them and disown them, the better.

 

[ralphmcpherson]

In Australia to be an instructor you require a "blue card" which has to be applied for and to get one they do a series of background checks on the individual before one is given. It obviously doesnt work with people who are yet to offend or yet to be caught but it does give some assurances I suppose. Do you guys overseas require something similar? We require one if we are to deal with children in any capacity such as school teachers, sports coaches, instructors, daycare mums etc.

 

[granfire]

In Australia to be an instructor you require a "blue card" which has to be applied for and to get one they do a series of background checks on the individual before one is given. It obviously doesnt work with people who are yet to offend or yet to be caught but it does give some assurances I suppose. Do you guys overseas require something similar? We require one if we are to deal with children in any capacity such as school teachers, sports coaches, instructors, daycare mums etc.

nice.

Sadly, the really good predators don't get caugt easily, because they are such good law abiding people, no way the 100 accusations can be true.

(sorry, having a sarcastic night)

 

[RSweet]

What about the USAT giving coaching credentials to a man who was a coach to one of the National Coaches - in spite of the fact he is on the national sex registry and did a few years in jail? The thing is everyone knows the story, knows who he is and he was allowed to register his school and to coach at USAT events. The excuse was he paid his debt to society and besides he told all his parents in his school about it. My comment back was that the other young ladies and coaches in holding and the halls didn't know. USAT does background checks only on the staff - as is national coaches or people going on trips. It does not screen school owners, etc.... It costs too much money. reading the situations that are happening in our sport and others, is sickening.

 

[RSweet]

As the father of Female TKD athlete this problem! I keep a very close Eye on My 16 Year Old Daughter! If someone ever laid a hand on her inappropriately. My actions would be swift and decisive. Parents need to be involved in their kids lives. To many hand over their daughters because they are promised Olympic Gold! It is sad what is going on in our sport and I hope that if any of it is true we see some people behind bars! Unfortunately it seems that the power structure is doing little to address these issues.

Shameful

It is not just laying on of hands. Seems that some of these predators are brazen enough to approach the girls through the social media. Reading what I have from recoil and other places, as well as the common knowledge in this sport of who does what, would you want your child on this team? and would you trust that she is taken care of while in their care? I am disturbed about the allegations of the staff and the coaches - leaving no one for the girls to turn to if there are problems on a trip.

 

[Gorilla]

It is not just laying on of hands. Seems that some of these predators are brazen enough to approach the girls through the social media. Reading what I have from recoil and other places, as well as the common knowledge in this sport of who does what, would you want your child on this team? and would you trust that she is taken care of while in their care? I am disturbed about the allegations of the staff and the coaches - leaving no one for the girls to turn to if there are problems on a trip.

We monitor her texting and social network sites daily. My wife is a investigator. She never travels without one parent attending(internationally for sure) and we keep contact with her no matter what the National Coahes say. The AAU is very good about keeping the parents involved. My daughter has been on the AAU National team 2 times and they are great. We also have had friends inform us of potential issues. Parents should look out for each others kids. Parents be open to the warnings that people give you they are probably right. To many parents turn a blind eye. Don't turn a blind eye to things for the promise of TKD Glory! To many parents do and bad things happen! Trust me the predators prey on the parents need for glory!!!!

 

[Balrog]

In Australia to be an instructor you require a "blue card" which has to be applied for and to get one they do a series of background checks on the individual before one is given. It obviously doesnt work with people who are yet to offend or yet to be caught but it does give some assurances I suppose. Do you guys overseas require something similar? We require one if we are to deal with children in any capacity such as school teachers, sports coaches, instructors, daycare mums etc.

The ATA requires all instructors to undergo a background check every time they certify/recertify.

 

[Touch Of Death]

I wouldn't point any fingers at TKD. Any organization be it a: church, Martial arts, or gymnastics course, is not to be trusted. Parents need to be involved.
Sean

 

[hal-apino]

I wouldn't point any fingers at TKD. Any organization be it a: church, Martial arts, or gymnastics course, is not to be trusted. Parents need to be involved.
Sean

It can happen to even those that are!

 

[hal-apino]

The ATA requires all instructors to undergo a background check every time they certify/recertify.

I just posted a story where a 17 year old reported abuse and the ATA failed to protect him from his coach , they were awarded 750,000.00
http://recoiltkd.com/Mother-wins-750-000.html

 

[Master Dan]

To all of you I appreciate your posts it is good to have input from different aspects and what I was hoping to inspire was open discussion about this issue.

To stay on point however it is not about preditors in general it is about two national organizations using thier power to cover up the abuses even condone it to a point with the carrot of Olympic possiblities or threat of being shuned or Excomunicated being offered to both parents and athelete.

This is much deeper than back ground checks and standards its about exposing those who have committed this in the past and making the national organizations pay enough that they cannot afford do allow this behavior again?

This is a Paradime shift in thinking that large studio owners have had to do long ago but somehow the Olympics in general has this problem in all sports.

As far as I am concerned the general US public is fed up with the general rip off of the masses to support just a few medalists. Its like 2% of the US population controls over 96% of the wealth yet the pay 2% of the taxes?

I know many of the people involved and they are not lieing but those who have been abused must file charges must go public to help protect those in the future who cannot defend themselves that is the true obligation of any black belt to defend the weak and serve not win at all costs?

Keep the posts my hope is those who may have been abused will find moral support in reading this and get help.

 

[RSweet]

To all of you I appreciate your posts it is good to have input from different aspects and what I was hoping to inspire was open discussion about this issue.

To stay on point however it is not about preditors in general it is about two national organizations using thier power to cover up the abuses even condone it to a point with the carrot of Olympic possiblities or threat of being shuned or Excomunicated being offered to both parents and athelete.

This is much deeper than back ground checks and standards its about exposing those who have committed this in the past and making the national organizations pay enough that they cannot afford do allow this behavior again?

This is a Paradime shift in thinking that large studio owners have had to do long ago but somehow the Olympics in general has this problem in all sports.

As far as I am concerned the general US public is fed up with the general rip off of the masses to support just a few medalists. Its like 2% of the US population controls over 96% of the wealth yet the pay 2% of the taxes?

I know many of the people involved and they are not lieing but those who have been abused must file charges must go public to help protect those in the future who cannot defend themselves that is the true obligation of any black belt to defend the weak and serve not win at all costs?

Keep the posts my hope is those who may have been abused will find moral support in reading this and get help.

Hal-a-pino and I both have a link to an attorney who can help athletes in that position.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I wouldn't point any fingers at TKD. Any organization be it a: church, Martial arts, or gymnastics course, is not to be trusted. Parents need to be involved.
Sean

This is exactly why if I ever take my kids to anyplace to train anything and I am told parents are not allowed in the room....we leave and do not return.

 

[granfire]

The biggest problem right now is not what did happen but what are we as a whole going to demand to make it stop happening and when it does what are the orgs. going to do to those that are under fire.

The system is clear we do not care what happens if Olympic dreams are what you want than you need to learn to play the game.

Last thing is if the USOC does not care why even bother to make an Olympic team.

Well, lets start by making the point that Olympic Dreams are all nice, but sometimes the price is too high.