Domestic violence what would you do?

[StudentCarl]

At this point beyond telling other parents who I am close with that are still taking thier kids there nothing. getting back to patterns of peoplethat lack the skills to cope with any other life style especially in any form of self dicipline or structure I find they have become like the habitual fellon who in fact is institutionalized and can only last so long with out returning to where they are truly comfortable. We have a 21 year old girl at 18 she was doing good in training and we were helping her alot but she just could not resist temptations of attention and drugs and alcohol she finally wound up shipped out for treatment which is a waste of time a revolving door for such as these because they truly do not want to recover just heal up enough to do it again. Her case is sad like so may other here raped and used by everyone including her father but she works that for sympathy to get what ever she can with out working for anything. She came back to town even worse hooked on heroin thinking everyone would just give her anything we helped her get housing jobs and the oportunity to train but she decide to trade sex for an old man to take care of her and she screwed that up to and now got arrested for breaking and entering and the court has given her the choice of leave town or go to jail. they do that here its called a blue ticket send the problem to another town. She has all the potential in the world but will not unless she is locked up long enough to gain coping skills which I doubt. Bottom line those who survive at some point make the decision that no matter how bad the past was they are going to fight to get better and those who don't live a horrible existance and die.

Except that often those who live a horrible existence make babies, giving a new life a disadvantaged start. We can't save people from themselves but, as a special education teacher, I see firsthand the offspring of druggies and it's not fair to anyone. My bottom line is to help those who will accept it, but never just give up and throw someone away. People usually change only when they bottom out hard enough; sometimes it kills 'em and sometimes they do change their lives.

 

[Master Dan]

Except that often those who live a horrible existence make babies, giving a new life a disadvantaged start. We can't save people from themselves but, as a special education teacher, I see firsthand the offspring of druggies and it's not fair to anyone. My bottom line is to help those who will accept it, but never just give up and throw someone away. People usually change only when they bottom out hard enough; sometimes it kills 'em and sometimes they do change their lives.

I understand your position but the Chinese have a say about getting out of the way of nature and let things happen by interfereing you fight against the natural progression of what needs to happen to many times help comes in the form of enabling people to continue to make bad choices. Some of the treatment programs openly state that some people just need to die to make room or convince others to live? You help everyone you can but you cannot help everyone or even a fraction

 

[Jenna]

Well the real time to take further aciton was with in 48 hours of her having real damage to her arms and legs child services would still do investigation but I fear like you said it will only cause her strife. I do think I may still talk with some parents those of my students that still drop off children ranging from 1 yr old to 10 years old.

I am not unsympathetic for those being abused especially children but the older ones say 19 and older have made the decision to stay a victim and all people no matter what has been done to them must at some point make the decision to survive and have some quality of life doing the best they can for themselves and then asking for help. The ones that don't and continually slef medicate self abuse and continually use past abuse as an exucse to be hopless and have not self responsibility don't make it they die. Here they die one after another from time after time young and old. My ex wife just two weeks after she died drowning falling through the ice going to bingo on a snow machine leaving my daughter 6 and her son 2 , her cousin finally had enough from her abusing husband and took a knife and cut him ear to ear. People at the hospital almost cheered said about time he had it comming, Her other cousin lost is 12 year old son shot to death in the next room while the parents were drunk, first suicide, then russian ruoulet, then acident who knows but they had been drunk for a week and 3 boys in the next room with guns. Thats why I teach here these kids need a decent chance to live. In 16 years 3,000 students most have done well some in movies, performed for the Smithonian, set world records in Eskimo Olympic, become good coaches, teachers, good parents but still. Still so many falling through the cracks with only jail or an early death in thier future.

Hey you sound as though your intentions are well-placed and you have proven to anyone that needed it that those young people who you have worked with have benefitted greatly from your mentoring and help. Ultimately, we are all responsible for our decisions in the first instance and though you can advise and direct and encourage and even act on vulnerable individuals, the old saying holds true - you can lead a horse to water... I could not fault you for trying what you could try and doing what you could do.