Steve
Mostly Harmless
There are two things going on. The first is personal growth and dealing with the insecurity and lack of confidence clear in the OP. The second is self defense.
I think everyone so far has hit the nail on the head with the first major thing: lack of confidence, insecurity, and personal growth. In this area, I think if you get a kid into literally any challenging activity under a good coach, and you will be amazed at what happens. Stories like @dvcochran 's are heartwarming, and I have no doubt that this is just one example of many he could share. And stories like that are happening right now on chess teams, on debate teams, on football, baseball, and wrestling teams, on the marching band, and in any activity that provides structure, rewards hard work and consistent effort with measurable results, and provides a community of peers and a trusted coach/advisor. These things are so important for kids... all kids, so fortunately, they can be gained in any activity, not just BJJ, TKD, Karate, or ninjutsu.
If you were to say that the personal growth, building physical, mental, and emotional confidence is way more important than learning to fight, I would agree, and would recommend getting into some structured activity that resonates. The growth in confidence alone will help that person be safer.
The second point, which is self defense... that's where I think everyone is getting hung up. The key would be finding a school that provides the above elements, where the skills are likely to be transferrable to a fight. Now, here's where not everything will fit the bill.
Personally, if you want growth and also fighting skills, in America at least, I don't think a kid can do better than turning out for JV wrestling. Outside of that, Judo would be good, particularly if its available in the schools, as it is here. Then any other grappling art, just for the physicality of it. And then some striking arts, where there is a competitive outlet (because application is critical to all of this, IMO).
This is where TMA schools that lack competitive outlets fail with application, and risk doing more harm than good with confidence and growth. Because when your skill set is not grounded in application, you risk a crisis of confidence the first time you have to use your skills and realize that you can't do what you have been told you can.
I think everyone so far has hit the nail on the head with the first major thing: lack of confidence, insecurity, and personal growth. In this area, I think if you get a kid into literally any challenging activity under a good coach, and you will be amazed at what happens. Stories like @dvcochran 's are heartwarming, and I have no doubt that this is just one example of many he could share. And stories like that are happening right now on chess teams, on debate teams, on football, baseball, and wrestling teams, on the marching band, and in any activity that provides structure, rewards hard work and consistent effort with measurable results, and provides a community of peers and a trusted coach/advisor. These things are so important for kids... all kids, so fortunately, they can be gained in any activity, not just BJJ, TKD, Karate, or ninjutsu.
If you were to say that the personal growth, building physical, mental, and emotional confidence is way more important than learning to fight, I would agree, and would recommend getting into some structured activity that resonates. The growth in confidence alone will help that person be safer.
The second point, which is self defense... that's where I think everyone is getting hung up. The key would be finding a school that provides the above elements, where the skills are likely to be transferrable to a fight. Now, here's where not everything will fit the bill.
Personally, if you want growth and also fighting skills, in America at least, I don't think a kid can do better than turning out for JV wrestling. Outside of that, Judo would be good, particularly if its available in the schools, as it is here. Then any other grappling art, just for the physicality of it. And then some striking arts, where there is a competitive outlet (because application is critical to all of this, IMO).
This is where TMA schools that lack competitive outlets fail with application, and risk doing more harm than good with confidence and growth. Because when your skill set is not grounded in application, you risk a crisis of confidence the first time you have to use your skills and realize that you can't do what you have been told you can.
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