Removing the Doubt or Reluctance of Fighting

[OnlineChunner]

Hi, everyone. I'm back with this account and I actually wanted to ask you all something I have been thinking for a long time. I think that I am not the only one feeling this way or have felt this way. First off, let me share my background.

I started with boxing, trained in a gym by a former competitive boxer during his time. After that, I tried learning Wushu Sanda and Muay Thai for awhile. Then I switched learning Shotokan Karate for 2 years, 1 year Goju Ryu. Been jumping from good gym to gym to learn. Been doing some sparring and pressure testing as well with all these arts so fighting is no problem. However, this is where the problem I wanna consult with you guys.

I love fighting, I really do. Doing forms is great, but the fact is, I just want the fighting more. However, I always feel this nervousness when I face an opponent. It's that nervousness where you just dont want to spar this guy or like, it's sparring but you don't feel that way. You are reluctant, you don't want to spar, but deep inside you love fighting. I only experienced once in my life time of combat sports and martial arts where I enjoyed the ounce of fighting and never wanted to let go of it. That, I can't seem to replicate again.

I always thought I was just making some excuses, but whenever I try not to, I feel that nervousness again.

Have you ever felt this and how do you remove this feeling? How do you just, think of the fight, not worry about anything and remove that reluctance of fighting?

 

[wab25]

You don't....

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

Have you ever felt this and how do you remove this feeling?

Your feeling depends on your ability. Your ability depends on your fighting record.

If your fighting record is

- 20-3, you will love to fight whenever you get your chance.
- 3-20, you may not like fight that much.

A lion will love to fight a leopard but not the other way around.

So, you need to make yourself to be a lion.

 

[drop bear]

You don't really remove it.

That is what people who fight feel.

 

[isshinryuronin]

When I started sparring, I just wanted to get thru it and not get hurt. As a result, I was tentative and that's not a good thing, giving me the opposite result. I found that being more aggressive (at least in attitude) led to less pain. As my abilities, tactics and confidence grew it became more of a fun challenge. That nervousness is still there, but it's a kind of anticipation (and adrenalin), not fear, and I agree with drop bear that it's a natural part of fighting, not something to worry about.

 

[Badhabits]

It's part of the fun

 

[Simfers]

Pretty sure you're stuck with those trepidations. It's that ol' fight-or-flight response deep in your lizard brain. Ride that adrenalin wave. It's a hell of a show.

 

[Buka]

When you lose that bit of nervousness before sparring, be it a lot or a little, it’s probably time to stop sparring.

That includes if you’re sparring with a white belt kid. They do foolish things and you have to be “on” so they don’t get hurt. Or poke you in the eye by accident.

Embrace that feeling and keep your guard up, brother. It’s all good.

 

[OnlineChunner]

Thank you so much, everyone, for your answers. Really helpful. I always had this feeling whenever it comes. Maybe it's just natural and you can never get rid of it. Pressure testing is life!

 

[Sammy Naur]

Hi, everyone. I'm back with this account and I actually wanted to ask you all something I have been thinking for a long time. I think that I am not the only one feeling this way or have felt this way. First off, let me share my background.

I started with boxing, trained in a gym by a former competitive boxer during his time. After that, I tried learning Wushu Sanda and Muay Thai for awhile. Then I switched learning Shotokan Karate for 2 years, 1 year Goju Ryu. Been jumping from good gym to gym to learn. Been doing some sparring and pressure testing as well with all these arts so fighting is no problem. However, this is where the problem I wanna consult with you guys.

I love fighting, I really do. Doing forms is great, but the fact is, I just want the fighting more. However, I always feel this nervousness when I face an opponent. It's that nervousness where you just dont want to spar this guy or like, it's sparring but you don't feel that way. You are reluctant, you don't want to spar, but deep inside you love fighting. I only experienced once in my life time of combat sports and martial arts where I enjoyed the ounce of fighting and never wanted to let go of it. That, I can't seem to replicate again.

I always thought I was just making some excuses, but whenever I try not to, I feel that nervousness again.

Have you ever felt this and how do you remove this feeling? How do you just, think of the fight, not worry about anything and remove that reluctance of fighting?

There is a strong tendency for humans to give themselves what the scientists call "anticipatory stress" due to our forethought and executive planning functions.

We are not the only animals that do this (many animals plan for the future) but humans are unique in certain ways. We tend to stress about things that don't matter in the moment (e.g. worrying about my taxes while out on a date) that have real physical effects.

Sparring/Fighting happens to be a very primal thing that causes a flood of hormones, best handled on instinct specifically because of this. Like stepping on a car brake at the last second to avoid a person, you don't think about it, you just do it. But you're always stressing about it while behind the wheel (maybe not even noticing).

While the short term rush is normal, long term stressing like this is bad for you across the board.

The best remedy for anything like this is relaxation skills, breathing, etc. They will help 6 months before the fight right up to recovery after.

"Stroke your kidneys", "love the adrenaline" etc. Full body awareness. It's really not that different from preparing to surf a big wave, ski down a mountain, or jump from a plane.

 

[HighKick]

You don't really remove it.

That is what people who fight feel.

I like to think of it as part of my driving force. You have to learn to make sure the 'push' you get from nervousness is pushing you in the right direction.

 

[drop bear]

I like to think of it as part of my driving force. You have to learn to make sure the 'push' you get from nervousness is pushing you in the right direction.

I think it just sucks.

But if you want to fight you have to deal with it

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

I think it just sucks.

But if you want to fight you have to deal with it

I’m surprised that you feel that way. I’m not a fighter, but that rush is the thing that attracted me to fighting, motorcycles, skateboarding, snowboarding, etc. in the first place. Nothing like hucking yourself off some unknown lump in the snow at 40 mph while *** deep in tequila with a blunt hanging out your mouth. It’s like here we go let’s see what happens! I never used to even think of consequences 20 years ago. Now, wife, job, mortgage all seem to step out in front and say “um no, we aren’t rolling those dice today.”.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

I found that being more aggressive (at least in attitude) led to less pain.

Agree! If you can put your opponent in defense mode, you will have easier time.

that rush is the thing that attracted me to fighting,

I feel the same way too. When a punch comes toward my face, I just get excited. This kind of excitement even money can't buy it.

 

[drop bear]

I’m surprised that you feel that way. I’m not a fighter, but that rush is the thing that attracted me to fighting, motorcycles, skateboarding, snowboarding, etc. in the first place. Nothing like hucking yourself off some unknown lump in the snow at 40 mph while *** deep in tequila with a blunt hanging out your mouth. It’s like here we go let’s see what happens! I never used to even think of consequences 20 years ago. Now, wife, job, mortgage all seem to step out in front and say “um no, we aren’t rolling those dice today.”.

People are going to feel different. I hated fighting and I made everyone I fought pay for it.

I have a high work ethic. So I can do crap things.

 

[Badhabits]

Does anyone else like to fight, but don't enjoy hurting people?

 

[Taiji Rebel]

Does anyone else like to fight, but don't enjoy hurting people?

Alongside taijiquan, a lot of my time is spent in boxing gyms. In my earliest years it was all about fighting with full-on aggression. As my ring experience developed I started to enjoy employing different strategies and techniques. People get hurt from time-to-time but that is not the main aim of the amateur game.

 

[HighKick]

I think it just sucks.

But if you want to fight you have to deal with it

I have been in matches where it truly sucked and was hard to use as a motivator but for the most part I can flip the switch.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Does anyone else like to fight, but don't enjoy hurting people?

I don’t love sparring but I loved fighting as a young person. Mostly because I never wanted to hurt my friends sparring so I never put my all into it like I would if my *** was literally on the line with some stranger trying to beat or kill me. I can’t turn the valve wide open on a sparring partner so I don’t get the high from that either. It’s also easier for to get injured trying not to injure my opponent. I love Qinna but I don’t get a thrill from cranking on a partners joint during practice.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

I have been in matches where it truly sucked and was hard to use as a motivator but for the most part I can flip the switch.

Being completely outmatched in a hard sparring can be worse than a real fight. I’ve definitely been there just holding on for that bell.