Question about manners

[terryl965]

I have read alot of post by alot of wonderful people on this forum and one of my biggest problem is where is the fundamentals of being appreciated for doing good deeds to one another. In a post in this section they ask why can't you help people anymore, I find it unappeeling to see so many responses from MA'ers that it not wroth my time to be nice, been step on to much. Does anybody remember the old days when MA was an outcast from society, we and the Art of MA have come a long way to let some jerks get under our skin, that we forget we are here to help those less fortunite than us, everytime I get a dirty look from someone when I hold open a door I just smile and say have a nice day and remember what I was tought years ago, do unto other the way you would like to be treated.

Terry Lee Stoker

 

[shesulsa]

Terry, lamenting the discomfort of the recipients of good manners and a little help was meant as comraderie and commiseration. I, for one, won't stop being helpful and kind in a situation I perceive to be a safe one, and I think there are plenty who will continue to be nice in the face of the thankless.

There will always be the few that reciprocate ill manners and it's truly a shame. My hope is to rekindle the desire in others to live that golden rule a little more often. I have been on the receiving end of kindness which benefited me and my family greatly, so I will not fail to give back.

We can only hope others will join us in doing the same.

 

[TigerWoman]

I agree with that. Just like as children, we learn by example shown by our parents, teachers, or even strangers. I remember my father opening or holding the door for everyone before he went through or opening his door on the car. Basic manners need not be appreciated but it is nice to be acknowledged. But it shouldn't be necessary for you to get a thanks, to be able to extend a simple courtesy again. After all, we are not keeping track.

And it has to start somewhere or everyone would go into their protective shell and we would all be paranoid for no good reason and uncaring. Who knows when a good turn, might cause another to rethink their attitude. They will realize eventually the difference from a possible attack and a kindness. That's true, some con artists start out with a kindness to get trust, so every circumstance is not the same. There is always a time and place, common sense should rule. No, I don't stop on the highway for a breakdown. When risks are involved, I call 911. If all I lose is a funny look, it is not a risk. Just consider the circumstance.

And in contrast to where I used to live, I find Minnesota a very polite mannered state. But I suppose it surprises the guys when I hold the doors for them too or unjam a grocery cart and give it to them! Manners should be expected in a civilized community. Treat others as you want to be treated is a good rule-the golden rule. TW

 

[JenniM]

I remember what I was tought years ago, do unto other the way you would like to be treated.

Terry Lee Stoker

Ditto!!

 

[foolbae1228]

Farang-


Another point for you, Terry, is that as martial artists, we are trained to be at a higher level then everyday people. You are expected to be at a higher level of courtesy because of your training, and the ignorance that you get from other people just proves that you are better than them.

And going off of Tigerwoman's quote, maybe you set an example to those you help. I look at life like karma, if someone does something nice to me, I'm obligated to do something nice back. It doesn't have to be the same person or to the same degree of niceness, just something nice to a complete stranger. Maybe some other people have that same mentality, and if you help them, they will help someone else. If not, then they need all of the help and courtesy they can get, because they lead sad lives.

Farang-
Ryan