Problem Parents : Conditionin

[Mark L]

How old are you?

Important question. Your physician is best equipped to determine what if any restrictions should be put on your training based on your physical development.

Really, it's none of their business

Bullsh|t! If the answer to the first question reveals a minor (and I have no idea if it will) then it most certainly is their business.

Whether or not you are enjoying it should be their concern, not if you come back looking a bit beaten. Explain to them that it is a very physical thing you are doing.

Agreed, enjoying it is important. However, good parents will always be concerned when they see that their children (regardless of age) are a bit beaten.

You are learning how to hurt people. With that comes a whole swag of things from toughening yourself to improving your fitness.

Learning to hurt people? Is that really what you are after?

 

[Sin]

The more you train the stronger you will become., what dosn't kill you makes you stronger


All those clichies are true, but it is good to push your limits and its also good to know them.

 

[Mark L]

When you heal up have your dad try and hit you....this is where you put the conditioning to good use and block the strike and hurt him.

That's a pretty awful attitude. Is it yours or is it your teachers? Hurting people to demonstrate the effectiveness of your art or your training is a pretty juvenile approach. And encouraging someone to hurt a parent to make a point is reckless. Grow up! If you can't do that, shut up!

 

[Gin-Gin]

Going to her car one night, a guy attacked her, and she took her limited knowledge and was able to defend herself and get away safely. She said her parents were terribly sorry for their small minds and wish they had not convinced her to quit. Parents and others not involved in MAs can be overprotective and worrisome.. One way is to involve them in your training.. invite them to class and have them see how much it really means to you. Good luck~!!~Tess

Good for her! Too bad her parents talked her into quitting. Who knows, maybe after she gets a full-time job she'll think about going back...it's cool that the few lessons she had with you saved her life, Tess! (one of the best rewards of MA...):ultracool

Yes, loved ones who are not in the Art do not understand why we get bruises, black eyes, etc. & still go back to class; I agree with Tess' advice to get them involved in your training if you can. However, if they still "don't get it" & still nag you, you're probably just going to have to either: 1) Ignore it; 2) Politely respond with, "I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself" (or something similar), or "it's better for me to learn in class than learn the hard way on the street," or "thanks, but it's part of the training." [I've had to use the last 2 statements myself.] Hope that helps you, Corporal Hicks. Trust me, we've all been there...

Sincerely,
Gin-Gin :asian:

 

[Sin]

That's a pretty awful attitude. Is it yours or is it your teachers? Hurting people to demonstrate the effectiveness of your art or your training is a pretty juvenile approach. And encouraging someone to hurt a parent to make a point is reckless. Grow up! If you can't do that, shut up!

you got me all wrong. Your not out to hurt your parent or loved one, your only trying to demonstrate effectiveness of what your learning. I wasn't telling you to kick your dads A$$ or anything. Only try and demonstrate, for eduational purposes

 

[loki09789]

you got me all wrong. Your not out to hurt your parent or loved one, your only trying to demonstrate effectiveness of what your learning. I wasn't telling you to kick your dads A$$ or anything. Only try and demonstrate, for eduational purposes

I can see what the point is, though the wording isn't very aligned to a 'do no harm' philosophy.

I had a friends kid as a student. He was a BIG cop who really didn't put much stock in martial arts training. He was horse playing with his son/my student after we had worked out for a little while and he was having a heck of a time tagging his son while slap boxing....he had to conceed that the stuff was proving affective.

 

[Mark L]

you got me all wrong. Your not out to hurt your parent or loved one, your only trying to demonstrate effectiveness of what your learning. I wasn't telling you to kick your dads A$$ or anything. Only try and demonstrate, for eduational purposes

Fair enough. Peace!

 

[Sin]

I recently came home with a huge bruise on my right arm...in fact its not fully faded yet. My parents asked what happened and I was like.....Chad (kid who came to the class the same time i did) kept missing. The funny part is, the whole time i was was telling him, "dude your missing" or "Hit a little higher". He kept swearing up and down the was doing it correctly

A very large ego this one has. Part of the reason why he and i are having words right now...but thats for another thread.

 

[Erik]

Oh yeah, she still LOVES to tell the story about how she knocked me out on my feet with a groin strike during a rank testing.... just comes with the territory.

If she likes having a sex life with you she should hit you elsewhere.

Seems that she'll pay for that more than you.

 

[loki09789]

If she likes having a sex life with you she should hit you elsewhere.

Seems that she'll pay for that more than you.

The point of that post was to point out the contradiction in how "I gave her a black eye" when actually her momentary lack of focus was what caused the black eye vs. her pride in telling the story about how she got a good shot in on me during the belt test....

It was early on in her training and she was putting the blame on me (as many will transfer blame at times) because she needed a target for her pain and emotional reaction to it and I was an easier target than facing her part of it in the moment. At the time, it was strike number 20 in a 20 strike sequence, so I had been providing her a stimulus for her to respond to with the blocking technique and as will happen when you are a newbie, you don't follow through and start jogging just as you see the finish line instead of running through it (speaking metaphorically that is).

After the initial emotional reaction, we talked about it and broke down what happened so that she could do a 'lessons learned' post training review/after action review.

 

[Adept]

Bullsh|t! If the answer to the first question reveals a minor (and I have no idea if it will) then it most certainly is their business.

Agreed, enjoying it is important. However, good parents will always be concerned when they see that their children (regardless of age) are a bit beaten.

It is their business to be concerned and to look into it. It is not their business to forbid him from attending class just because they dont like him coming home with bruises.

Learning to hurt people? Is that really what you are after?

Well, when I hit someone I sure dont want it to tickle...

I know the best fight is the one you arent in, and that avoidance and escape should be primary considerations when dealing with violence and violent situations. But all those nice moves like eye gouges? You dont mess around when you have to use what you know. You hurt people, and hurt 'em bad.

 

[Sarah]

As frustrating as it can be, I guess they are just concerned, I like what Tess said about getting them involved!

My other half give's me no sympathy when I hurt myself, he just laugh's at me.

 

[cintagothy]

...we have a erbal mixture that the master gave us that helped prevent the brusing. Master Gin Foon Mark sells some on his Mantis websight.

I wanted to make sure this advice by Sifu Adams was not overlooked. There are linaments available that *greatly* improve the healing process: Dit Da Jow is excellent for preventing bruises from forming altogether - just put it on as soon as possible after you've been conditioning (e.g. been hit). Sen Jow works very well for healing sore muscles and joints. Zheng Gu She (the stinkiest of the bunch) works for deep bone bruises. These healing tools are very useful for keeping your body in good condition for training - there's nothing more frustrating than having to favor an injury during sparring, no? Being more "presentable" is a handy side-effect. And don't confuse these healing medicines with being wimpy: your body will be in better shape for longer, and you will be more able to focus on your training with proper application of them.

Another important note is that age really can be a factor: the epiphyseal plate in your bones is not fully formed in adolescents. http://www.orthoseek.com/articles/epiphyseal.html The end result is that certain injuries can prevent proper conclusion of the growth process, which can eventually keep your bones from getting the nutrients they need. This might seem long-sighted now, but from your enthusiasm for martial arts, it sounds as if you intend to study this all of your life. Certain types of injuries will make that unrealistic. It doesn't *sound* offhand as if you're doing anything too extreme, but it's good to keep in mind.

I imagine you've had enough advice on how to deal with your parents, and you know them best, anyway. If it's any consolation, I'm almost 30, and my dad still gets a little wigged out about my involvement with MA. ;-)

Best of luck!

-C