Problem Parents : Conditionin

[Corporal Hicks]

Hi all,
I just had an arguement with my parents after they saw my arms after I came back from Wing Chun. We had done conditioning and my arms have actually swollen up quite alot. They dont like the idea and say that its a pointless waste of time and all its doing is damaging me. They wont listen to me and say I should continue with my TKD but I just argue more cos I dont like the cushness of TKD. What can I say to them to make them see its benefical?

Regards

 

[Adept]

How old are you? Really, it's none of their business. Whether or not you are enjoying it should be their concern, not if you come back looking a bit beaten. Explain to them that it is a very physical thing you are doing. You are learning how to hurt people. With that comes a whole swag of things from toughening yourself to improving your fitness.

 

[Erik]

You could tell them that you just like what you're doing a lot more and that the bruises come from you training harder, not the school.

Tell them you'll tone down a little.

And then wear sleeves at home.

Besides, damaging your body past a certain point is not good for you. Maybe you should go a little softer at WC. I cannot see your arms over the internet so I can't pronounce informed judgement but if they are visibly swollen - enough that ma or pa notices - then maybe you're beating them up too much.

Also, if you're that bruised, you're making hard contact too late. If WC is like eskrima in this regard (I think it is), you're tempo is a little slow.

Just an idea for you.

By the way, I'm 32 and my fiancee has replaced my parents in this regard. She FLIPS every time I come home with a black eye. I have learned to keep extra careful around Thanksgiving so I don't hear it from 2 parents, 3 sisters, my fiancee, her parents, her cousins, my aunt and uncle, etc. So get used to this... they're only a problem because they love you.

 

[Adept]

By the way, I'm 32 and my fiancee has replaced my parents in this regard. She FLIPS every time I come home with a black eye. I have learned to keep extra careful around Thanksgiving so I don't hear it from 2 parents, 3 sisters, my fiancee, her parents, her cousins, my aunt and uncle, etc. So get used to this... they're only a problem because they love you.

Amen to that. Explaining to everyone what happened the first time I got my nose broken was a nightmare.

 

[KenpoTess]

One of my University students was being hounded by her parents not to take kenpo as she would definitely injure her hands and being a pianist that would thwart her music scholarship. I did all I could as her instructor to show her how to avoid injury (keeping fists etc). She did fine til her parents totally had her freaked and she dropped out after the first half of the semester. I ran into her a few months later and she told me how happy she was to have learned what little she had. Going to her car one night, a guy attacked her, and she took her limited knowledge and was able to defend herself and get away safely. She said her parents were terribly sorry for their small minds and wish they had not convinced her to quit. Luckily all worked out for her, she graduated and hopefully she'll never have to deal with a thug again.
Parents and others not involved in MA's can be overprotective and worrisome.. One way is to involve them in your training.. invite them to class and have them see how much it really means to you. Good luck~!!

~Tess

 

[sifu Adams]

Erik is dead on that wife thing!!!!!!! any way I have found that most do not understand what we do as martial artist. You can not explain it to them and chances are they will never understand. I would question the age as if you were still growing I might question the training just to be safe as a instructor. However it you are over 18 I would just try to keep the training to myself and not talk about it infront of them. I have done forearm taining for mantis and we have a erbal mixture that the master gave us that helped prevent the brusing. Master Gin Foon Mark sells some on his Mantis websight.

 

[Vadim]

Hi Corporal Hicks. I can relate to your situation. At times I come back from tournaments with a black eye or bruise. The problem is not with my wife but with my mom. She says that she cant stand to see her boy bruised or injured. I am an adult and my mom still is very concerned about me. She doesn't see the point of martial arts but I explain to her the benefits that I experience and that getting injured/bruised can happen in any type of physical activity not only martial arts.

My wife just nods her head and says keep your guard up next time . I believe that what's happening in your situation from what you wrote is that your parents really hate seeing you injured and cant comprehend why you would be putting yourself through something that would get you hurt. I would speak with my instructor and explain the situation to him. Perhaps you can have a meeting with your instructor and parents if you are a minor(under 18) and have the instructor explain the benefits of the training. Everybody's body reacts differently to training. In time your swelling should go down as your body acclimates to this type of training.

My particular style does not do forms/kata anymore. Anyway I practiced with a friend of mine who is a goju-ryu black belt. He taught me seiunchin and we went over the kata repeatedly. Needless to say my legs were very sore from the low stances. Bottom line is the body needs time to adjust to the training. Until then you are going to be sore. Ice your arms or apply some type of sports creme to help relieve the soreness. Good luck with your parents and keep your chin up.

-Vadim

 

[MJS]

Bumps, bruises, minor injuries, etc. are to be expected. Afterall, this is a MA class, not knitting class!! Now, if you're coming home with a black eye, broken nose/bone, etc. then yeah, something is wrong there, but again, the arts are going to contain contact. A detailed explaination of the school and classes shold be brought to the attn. of the student or parents. Have them watch a class. If its something that is not for them, they leave..simple as that!!

Mike

 

[An Eternal Student]

I sometimes get the same problem from my girlfiend.Bumps and bruises do happen, so its just something they'll have to accept.Its funnt though, if I come home from martial arts with a bruise, my parents think its stupid.If I come home from a football match with a bruise then they dont have a problem.People who arent martial artists just dont get martial arts.

 

[chinto01]

First I would say not to argue with your parents. You will not get very far with it and it will upset them even more. Have you tried giving them the explanation that was given to you by your sensei as to why you do the conditioning drills? If not I would start there. If all else fails ask them to come to a class and see why it is done. They probably just do not understand and need it explained to them.

 

[still learning]

Hello, All parents do not like to see their child being hurt. As a parent myself this is only a natural thing to be concern. Be glad that they are caring and thoughtful parents.

In time your arms will get tougher with more practice and you will not have the swelling and bruises. Anyone who gets in boxing knows the first six months, you will feel all the punches and will get many bruises, but in time the body gets tougher. Keep the training up and reasonable. That is all part of our training,to toughen the body. That's why there is punching bags,boards,wing chun stands, etc. Train hard,get stronger,be tougher, and in the long run it will hurt less......"OW"....Aloha

 

[still learning]

Hello, All parents do not like to see their child being hurt. As a parent myself this is only a natural thing to be concern. Be glad that they are caring and thoughtful parents.

In time your arms will get tougher with more practice and you will not have the swelling and bruises. Anyone who gets in boxing knows the first six months, you will feel all the punches and will get many bruises, but in time the body gets tougher. Keep the training up and reasonable. That is all part of our training,to toughen the body. That's why there is punching bags,boards,wing chun stands, etc. Train hard,get stronger,be tougher, and in the long run it will hurt less......"OW"....Aloha

 

[terryl965]

I feel yor pain it's a burden for the one's closet to you to understand why we put ourself though the pain of everyday practice. My only advise would be to keep setting them down and explaining your reasoning behind the training in time they will accept what they can't change.GOD BLESS AMERICA

 

[Sin]

When you heal up have your dad try and hit you....this is where you put the conditioning to good use and block the strike and hurt him. Thats how they will know. Thats the only way they will learn....Trust me....whenever my parents say something like, "Why doy ou do that" Or "I would never do that in a fight" Then thats when i get to demostrate.

 

[loki09789]

Hi all,
I just had an arguement with my parents after they saw my arms after I came back from Wing Chun. We had done conditioning and my arms have actually swollen up quite alot. They dont like the idea and say that its a pointless waste of time and all its doing is damaging me. They wont listen to me and say I should continue with my TKD but I just argue more cos I dont like the cushness of TKD. What can I say to them to make them see its benefical?

Regards

If your a legal adult, roll with it. Not everyone gets it. If it is pushed on you ask them how they would react if you were showing them bruises/bumps or other 'battle wounds' from playing soccer, football/rugby, baseball or some other athletic activity? It does seem ironic that western people accept that those are part of the 'game' for some things but 'stupid' in other venues.

I gave my now wife a black eye (actually she relaxed a split second before my stick connected with her blocking stick when she should have been braced... but "I gave her a black eye..." is the simple version so I sleep in bed instead of on the couch ) while we were dating and her parents went NUTS....

 

[Sin]

You train with your wife...that is awesome.....but you have to realize that things happen in the Dojo that wouldn't happen in real life...i mean your training, not fighting. so injuries are gonna happen on both sides. All you can do is teand to her wounds once you get home or Visa Versa

 

[loki09789]

You train with your wife...that is awesome.....but you have to realize that things happen in the Dojo that wouldn't happen in real life...i mean your training, not fighting. so injuries are gonna happen on both sides. All you can do is teand to her wounds once you get home or Visa Versa

Oh yeah, she still LOVES to tell the story about how she knocked me out on my feet with a groin strike during a rank testing.... just comes with the territory.

Injury prevention, IMO, is the most immediate reason to do conditioning (strength/endurance as well as desensitization 'conditioning') to prevent repetitive stress injuries or injuries that will come from fatigue/bad form.

Reasonably speaking, we spend more man hours training than fighting so we are more likely to get hurt from it that from the Bad Guys. Being in shape will help prevent 90% of the 'oops' injuries because you are more elastic, coordinated, and have better endurance/confidence and will stay mentally focused for longer periods of time - and are less likely to make bad choices because of fatigue/sloppines.

 

[Sin]

Well i don't know about you, but every girl i have been with always wants to protect my groin......now I will just let you stop to think about that one for a bit :supcool:

 

[loki09789]

Well i don't know about you, but every girl i have been with always wants to protect my groin......now I will just let you stop to think about that one for a bit :supcool:

If by 'protect' you mean 'leave it alone' or 'won't touch it' why yes I do know what you mean ...thing about that one (hee hee hee).

That is how I knew that she was the one. She wasn't afraid to bust my....... oh yeah can't use that word here .

Back to the topic at hand though, we all assume risks in every activity we do in life. As long as your training group/instructor doesn't spring a surprise on you, you are allowed to walk away if it seems overwhelming and you don't feel prepared (reasonably speaking of course) and the training program is run ethically and with respectful conditions, you knowingly accept those risks.

Now, if you get 'jumped' during class in a manner of speaking and are injured...that is unacceptable to me.

 

[bignick]

When asked to explain why he does martial arts, one of my instructors likes to put it like this, "Martial arts are like banging your head against the wall...it feels so good when you stop."