Points to ponder...but not seriously

[KenpoTex]

Points to Ponder (but not seriously)

I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once - or twice.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?

 

[Flatlander]

I liked those. Thanks Tex.

 

[Mark Weiser]

Okay here are some from the world of Nusing Management.

1. Accept somedays you are the pigeon and other days you are the statue
2. I do not have a communication problem. You have a preception problem
3. Nurses have access to drugs do not make me get out the syringe
4. All Doctors have poor penmenship however nurses have excellent translation skills.
5. Nurses have unique coping skills it is called Ativan.
6. Nures manager points to object on desk and says take a number. The object is a grenade with a number attached to the pin.
7. Today does not look to good for me to listen to your problems and tommorrow does not look any better.

Sincerely,
Mark E. Weiser

 

[KenpoTex]

Okay here are some from the world of Nusing Management.

2. I do not have a communication problem. You have a preception problem

Nice!