My grandfather said they cheered as the troops came in, and gave em the finger as they left.
Paris - April 8, 2004 - French Interior Minister Jean-Pierre Lafontaine announced today that, due to the recent terrorist bombings in Spain, France's Terror Alert Level has been raised from "Run" to "Hide." Mr. Lafontaine further added that if the bombings continue, the Terror Alert Level would be increased to "Surrender and collaborate."
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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after each receiving just 20 lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Englishman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Frenchman was next up. After watching the Engishman in horror he said smugly: "Please fix deux pillows to my back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).
The American was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your people are the kindest and most generous in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The American replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave". The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheik asked.
"Tie the Frenchman to my back."
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"A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle,the French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him. The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"
In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason--English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the
blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic. And that is why from that day to now all French Army officers wear brown pants."
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