Tony said:
But do you really think either of these guys would have used the same tactic with someone built like a body builder with arms the size of their waists? NOt likely! Maybe I'm just angry because I was bullied at school and i let them get away with it because i was too scared to fight back incase i got into trouble with the teachers so i never really learnt to stand up for myself! And i'm soon going for my black sash, I really should have more courage although i don't want to achieve this at the risk of being stabbed! There have been many occasions when i wished i had been able to stand up for myself despite having my years of training. One occasion whe i was in a club completely soiber standing blocking this guys path to his chair and rather than him asking me politely he gestured aggressively with his head to move. I guess he could see i woudln't offer much resistance. This kind of thing makes me so angry! I just want to be more assertive and not take any sh@T! Sorry for the rant!
From what Im reading, your anger has little to do with ham, salami, or turkey and much more to do with years of pent up frustration. I dont want to throw this thread way off topic, but I thought you may find this snippet of an article I found interesting.
http://www.straightblastgym.com/problem.htm
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Let me insert a section of an article by me that was written for realfighting.com on this very subject that I believe explains what the above sentence means very clearly.
(Psychological fear is a completely different animal, and sadly it is incredibly common within the "combatives", or modern self-defense crowds. Psychological fear is actually a form of paranoia, and it's created by one's internal fears of inadequacy on either a physical, emotional, or mental level.
When a male (in particular) thinks himself to be inadequate there is a strong feeling of sadness and anger. And just as aggression is the other side of the same coin as fear, sadness is the other side of the same coin as anger. If one doesn't address this internal sadness in a very real way then it will often manifest itself in the form of anger. I think as males we are more prone to adopt and embrace the anger, at least within our public persona, as opposed to the sadness, because for some misguided reason we have been taught that anger is more "masculine" then it's equal, sadness.
One would think that by training in "street" orientated martial arts, or combatives that emphasize the self defense aspects of martial arts, to the exclusion of what they deem to be "sports" training, that these types of individuals would gain more confidence, more peace, more happiness, and become more comfortable within them as their skills at 'self-defense' grew. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that the opposite seems to be true. Individuals that come to strictly "street" orientated martial arts, that were already prone to feelings of inadequacy, shame, physiological fear, and paranoia tend to have those qualities magnified by such training, rather then eased.
I wouldn't ask anyone to take my word for it with that assessment. Instead I would suggest one visit the nearest "mercenary" convention, combatives or "street" martial arts forums, or speak with these individuals in person. This sadness, anger, and immense fear is palpable when you are forced to spend anytime around these types of individuals. Try reading the posts at the "street" forums. Many tend to read like angry notes from disgruntled 13-year-old boys. There is talk of "tearing out the mo-fo's eyes", biting, and various vicious things that can be done to the attackers. The posts speak to an intense anger and fear in the writers, and sadly, the Instructors of such curriculums cater to this need by exploiting their target audiences obvious weakness, and emotional frailty.
These same people could begin to realize a much deeper sense of peace, well being, and level of personal safety if they were instead steered away from the geeky-ness of the combatives crowd and into a more contact orientated, healthy, and sane sports environment, with "alive-arts" such as boxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, wrestling, Muay thai, judo, and other "sports" systems. In that type of "alive-training" they will not only gain real skill within a particular delivery system of fighting, they will also achieve a higher level of personal conditioning, become used to a higher level of contact, understand exactly what an aggressive, resisting attacker feels like, and learn to perform under a certain amount of stress. They will also gain a real sense of peace that comes with understanding how to actually move the human body in effective ways against aggressive and dangerous attackers.)
Now, does that above set of paragraphs mean that Matt Thornton is saying ALL RBSD Instructors are doing a disservice?
No, of course not.
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I totally agree with this mentality.
