I agree with your wife's observations in some cases, but not the "jaded" part. A jaded opinion often skews our logic and good common sense.
She told me that she is glad that she never trained under me and advanced in rank because when she sees a married couple wearing black belts and running a school, she automatically assumes that it is a sham and the couple are phonies or a mcdojo.
I think we know why it is not good to "assume" things. It is not good, nor fair to lump everyone together and falsely label hardworking individuals as phonies.
What does everyone think though? In general, is it true? When you see a husband/wife teaching team is one usually legit (or semi-legit) and the other a hastily promoted black belt, being promoted by the other?
"Usually?" I think it should be obvious that this is not the case. As others have said, each person should be judged on their own merits, and not because they are a spouse (husband or wife), sibling, or off-spring.
In my particular case, I am 6th Dan and my wife is 3rd Dan. She has helped me run my schools and teach classes for many years. She began her training under me, and promoted to 3rd Dan before we were married. However, and most importantly, I never promoted her in rank. I taught her, but she tested under the same Grandmasters that I did. The chief judge at here 3rd Dan test was a Kukkiwan 9th Dan - - so let anyone try and challenge her rank! :ultracool
The rank is supposed to be a helpful indication to the general public that the individual is knowledgeable, provided the source of the rank, and those issuing it are legit. People do take advantage of this process, though, and they are the ones who should be exposed for their fraud. However, the real proof is always in the individual's abilities and teaching skill.
As far as a wife helping her husband (in your particular case, AoG), there are many ways this can be done. There was a time when I was younger that my father ran a full-service gas station with a mechanic's garage (the old fashioned kind in the '70s). We worked it as a family. My mother worked the books, and my two brothers and I pumped gas, washed windshields, checked oil, and filled the wiper and battery fluids (back when batteries needed water added).
I was about 12 years old, and many customers were skeptical about a kid pumping fuel, and checking under the hood. A few would watch me closely, but quickly saw that I knew what I was doing. I did not pretend to be a mechanic, but my older brother attended mechanic's school and got certified. You have to check the credentials of anyone doing anything where you value the outcome.
Your wife helping to run the school can take many forms (advertising, scheduling appointments, bookkeeping, etc). If she were to ever study and become a Black Belt, it should be first and foremost because she wants to learn the knowledge for herself. Otherwise, what kind of an instructor, and a Black Belt would she be if she didn't internalize the training, and was only doing it to help teach classes. If she did become a Black Belt for good reason, I am sure that a "family run" school by two qualified instructors would certainly run more smoothly, and who cares what others think. Let them find out from your own reputation that
you ARE the real deal!
CM D.J. Eisenhart
